


He Will Be Loved

by peanutbutter4lyfe



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Awkward Daryl, Bottom Daryl, Caring Rick, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes Feels, Daryl Has Issues, Daryl In Love, Daryl grows in confidence, Daryl panicky during sex, Daryl's Past, Hurt Daryl, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Prison, Prison AU, Protective Rick, Rickyl, Rickyl Smut, Top Daryl, Top Rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 15:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 65,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5095214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutter4lyfe/pseuds/peanutbutter4lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''Rick regained consciousness to find a warmth spreading through him and a brush of lips against his own. It felt like all his Christmases had come at once, he hadn't been eaten alive and Daryl Dixon was kissing him.''</p><p>A run for supplies goes horribly wrong, but what Rick discovers changes everything. Rick learns things about Daryl and his past that has him determined to make Daryl see how he really feels about him. Will it all work out in the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I have finally finished my Rickyl fic. I will upload it chapter by chapter as my lovely Beta Yohlenyaoilover reads it through for me.
> 
> Lots of Rickyl smut because I love it, but it gets serious in places.
> 
> Title is inspired by the song She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
> 
> WARNING: talk of past-abuse in later chapters

''Be careful you two, sure ya'll don't want Glenn and me along on this one?'' Maggie asked, looking between Rick and Daryl.

''It's just a formula run, we can handle it. You guys deserve a day off anyway.'' Rick responded in a definitive tone.

He didn't want to hang around any longer, they were already well into the day and he didn't want to lose the light. The plan was to visit a town they passed by on their last run, it had a store large enough to stock what they needed for Judith. He knew that with just him and Daryl on this they would be in, out and back before sundown.

Plus, Rick liked that he could sneak peeks at Daryl without having to worry that anyone would notice. He enjoyed watching the way Daryl's muscular arms stretched and strained as he wielded his crossbow, his steely gaze as he navigated the terrain, the way his body moved so fluidly and without sound. Rick could watch the man for hours.

Rick started to notice this growing feeling inside him for Daryl since they came to the prison, since his breakdown more precisely. Daryl stepped up and took care of his kids when he couldn't. Carl looked up to him, wanted to be like him, and he was pretty sure Judith wouldn't have made it without him. The sight of Daryl rocking Judith in his arms will be forever imprinted in Rick's mind.

He could barely breathe after Lori and Daryl had brought him back from the edge by being strong, being there for him, and standing in for him. He made the tough decisions on Rick's behalf and never questioned Rick when he said he was ready to come back, he just gave a nod and took a step back.

But, he'd be lying if he said these feelings were new. He'd been relying on Daryl for a long time, he just didn't know what that meant. He noticed his glances started lingering, eventually turning into longing stares. Shane saw it and it drove him mad. He was sure now Lori knew too, it would explain a lot. It seemed they all knew what was happening before he did.

These feelings for the hunter had definitely been there for some time, but the safety and comfort of the prison had allowed him to take a closer look at what had been growing between them. Well, on his part anyway, he had no idea how Daryl felt.

''Ya done daydreamin'?'' Daryl mumbled as he strode past Rick, patting him on the stomach as he went by.

''We got this.'' Rick said and hoped no one had noticed how he reacted to Daryl's touch.

Maggie and Glenn both nodded and started making their way to the gates to open them. Rick took a deep, steadying breath then jogged over to the driver's side, he slid in and started the engine. He knew he could never let Daryl find out about how he felt, he would not risk what they had. Daryl was the reason he was alive, if he lost him too he just knew he wouldn't be able to come back from that.

The gates opened and Daryl clapped his hand down on the dash a few times.

''Let's go.''

Rick startled out of his thoughts for the second time and pulled the car forward through the gates, which were immediately closed behind them. Maggie and Glenn waved them off from the other side.

Daryl glanced sideways at Rick through the hair hanging over his eyes, ''You alright, man? Ya seem edgy, sure you're up fa this?''

''Just tired is all, but who ain't.''

''Judith keepin' y' awake?''

''Yeah, teethin' I think.''

''You know I'll take 'er for ya so ya can catch some sleep.''

Rick risked a glance over at Daryl, his heart felt all warm and fuzzy at Daryl's words. Man, he was in deep. But he took comfort in the feeling and wanted to hold onto it, it made him feel alive and he needed that.

''Thanks, Daryl.''

Daryl gave a small nod, which meant he was done talking. Rick knew Daryl and he knew the man wasn't one for saying more than he needed to. Rick thought, in the beginning, he was unapproachable and distant. Now though, he understood that when Daryl spoke it was something worth listening to. He may not use many words but what he says means something.

The rest of the short journey continued in comfortable silence, with the odd peek across at Daryl when Rick thought he could get away with it.

-

Rick pulled the car off the road a half mile from the town, trying to keep it out of sight as much as possible. They continued on foot, staying to the trees. Daryl led the way which gave Rick a rather nice view. The apocalypse had made Rick slow down and learn to appreciate the little things, like walking for half a mile behind that arse and those arms.

Once they neared the town Daryl looked over his shoulder and raised a hand. Rick knew this meant stop and get low. They knew each other so well they could communicate without words, it was all eye contact and hand gestures. Daryl pointed with two fingers past the treeline at two stray walkers roaming around.

One must have been some kind of nurse before, it was still in uniform. She was pushing herself repeatedly into the passenger side of a car, the rotting and torn flesh of the walker made for a gruesome sight. The other was male, he assumed, it had no hair left just skin barely covering its skull. It was slowly shuffling about a few feet from the nurse.

Rick looked at Daryl and nodded then tilted his head in the direction he would take. Daryl understood,  instantly moving in the opposite direction. They both cleared the treeline at the same time, stalking towards the unsuspecting walkers. Rick held his knife high as he neared his target, the nurse.

Rick could see Daryl was coming up on his walker too, Daryl made eye contact. Ready? That's what those eyes communicated. Now! Simultaneously they sank their blades to the hilt into the skulls of the things that used to be human.

They stayed alert for more threats and as they neared the shop front Daryl gave another breathtaking glance in Rick's direction. He will never grow tired of being the recipient of Daryl's gaze, he is aware not many people have the privilege. He moved into position at one side of the door.

Daryl sheathed his knife and swung his crossbow from his shoulder into its usual poised position. He gave a nod signalling for Rick to make some noise. Rick brought the butt of his knife down onto the doorframe a few times and waited before repeating once more. Nothing.

Daryl reached for the door and swung it open as he raised his crossbow and moved in scanning the shop floor, Rick followed close behind. As they made their way around the shop they could see the shelves were pretty empty, just the odd can or package strewn around.

Rick found his way to the baby aisle but there was nothing but a few dummies hanging by their price tag. He brought his hand up to a pink one and tugged it free, pocketing it. He wouldn't go back empty handed.

''Stock room, round back.'' Daryl whispered close to Rick's ear.

A shudder ran down Rick's spine and all the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end at the proximity of Daryl's breath and the sound of his voice. Daryl never failed to amaze him with his stealth. Rick had no idea he had been so close until he spoke and he was already moving towards the back while Rick tried to get control of his limbs back.

Rick took a moment to stare after the hunter before following him. He let his gaze linger knowing Glenn or Maggie weren't there to hide his longing looks from. He made sure to avert his eyes when Daryl looked over his shoulder at him, tilting his head in the direction of the stock room doors.

They stood either side of the double doors as they had at the store front. After a nod they both released the latch on the door closest to them and shouldered their door open. They didn't expect to be faced with a hoard of walkers, maybe fifteen or more.

They all looked starved with their ribs showing through shrunken skin and teeth bared from receding gums and nonexistent lips. They were people once who he imagined had thought it was a good idea to hide away in there, until they starved to death and turned.

Daryl had his knife back out and buried in a skull before Rick could blink. They both struggled with the doors, trying to close them again, but to no avail. The walkers groaned and pushed against each other to get to the fresh meat in front of them. Rick backed up as he stabbed one closest to him through the eye.

Rick had downed five with his knife before he realised he couldn't see Daryl anymore. He stamped down the sudden panic and tried to tell himself that Daryl could handle himself. He focused on the blade in his hand and the walkers continuing to close in on him.

As he backed up another few paces he stumbled and fell, falling hard, three walkers tumbling after him. He managed to get the one closest to him in the temple before his head hit the floor making his vision blur.

-

Daryl could no longer see Rick, the walkers had separated them by sheer number. He was down to his last few when he heard a loud crash to his left. He grabbed a bolt from behind him and with all his strength he slammed it through the skulls of both walkers.

He had no time to retrieve it, instead he ran and jumped over fallen bodies and abandoned packaging in the direction of the earlier sound. As he shot around an aisle he was frozen to the spot by the sight in front of him, Rick under a walker and two more crawling towards him.

He could see Rick's knife sticking out the side of the one that was on top of him, but he couldn't see Rick moving. Back in hunter mode he raised his crossbow while he moved forward and let loose a bolt into the head of the walker that had dragged itself to Rick's side. Daryl hoped its jaw gnawing away wasn't taking chunks out of Rick's shoulder.

The last remaining walker had made it to Rick's other side just as Daryl did, he grabbed its head and tore it clean off as he pulled the thing away from its goal. He sank to his knees at Rick's side and tugged the fallen walker off of him. Blood saturated Rick's jacket and T-shirt, it was difficult to tell who the blood belonged to.

''Rick!'' Daryl choked out.

Daryl felt a lump forming in his throat and his eyes began to sting with the promise of tears. He grabbed at Rick's shirt and shook him. Nothing.

Daryl's hands roamed over Rick's body searching for any injury. He saw bite marks left by the walker that was gnawing at his shoulder. His heart hammered in his chest as he wrenched Rick's leather coat down and tore at his shirt to reveal an unmarked shoulder.

Daryl breathed out a sigh of relief and let his hands continue to roam over Rick to check for any other wounds. He stopped when he found one of his hands resting on Rick's face and stared down at it. One large tear drop spilled over, ran down and landed on Rick's cheek.

He couldn't do this without Rick, he just couldn't. Rick had made him something, someone people wanted around. He had a family now, one that needed him, but he needed Rick. He needed those reassuring eyes, their casual touches and brushes of shoulders. No one had ever touched him like that, just because they wanted to, before.

Daryl leaned over and placed an ear over Rick's mouth trying to feel for any signs of life. He felt his heart clench and he was sure it stopped when he couldn't feel any breath. Daryl pulled Rick's head onto his lap, looked up to the ceiling and scrunched his eyes shut. He took one long steadying breath and lowered his head once more.

He looked down, Rick looked peaceful, the worry and strain gone from around his eyes. His gaze followed the path of his earlier tear drop and found Rick's lips, he just sat and stared for a while. He had imagined kissing those lips so many times since meeting the officer, so perfect and plump. Lips made to be kissed, he had thought.

He had nothing else to lose so he lowered his head and pressed his lips to Rick's. They felt so soft and warm, he didn't want the moment to end until he felt a twitch beneath him. Those flawless lips moved under his own, he pulled back instantly just in time to see Rick's eyes spring open.

''Daryl...'' Rick breathed out.

His heart pounded and he just wanted to wrap Rick up in his arms and never let him go, instead he jerked his head back putting some distance between them. His heart hammered out a rhythm at the realisation of what he had just done.

-

Rick regained consciousness to find a warmth spreading through him and a brush of lips against his own. It felt like all his Christmases had come at once, he hadn't been eaten alive and Daryl Dixon was kissing him.

''Daryl...'' He managed to get out.

Then he jolted upright scanning his surroundings. Had he actually died and was in heaven?

As his head began to clear he quickly realised he was in fact alive because heaven couldn't possibly look like a crumby, ransacked store. He looked at Daryl, lowering his head to try and make eye contact. The warmth that had been spreading through him instantly turned cold when he saw the look on Daryl's face.

He realised too late that Daryl must have misread his sudden movement into a sitting position and took it as some kind of rejection. He was backing away already and getting to his feet, head down and eyes hidden behind his hair.

''Daryl wait, please.''

But Daryl was already up and backing away with a few skips before turning, crossbow in hand, walking at a pace towards the exit.

''Daryl!'' Rick called as he tried to get up.

His head pounded and the room spun at the sudden movement. In a crouch with one hand braced on the floor he brought the other one up to the back of his head and felt wetness there. He brought his hand back and saw that sticky red blood coated his fingers. He groaned but pushed himself up anyway and made for the door at the front of the store, he needed to find Daryl.


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl tumbled out of the shop door without looking back and not knowing what way to turn, which was so unlike him, the new him anyway. He had gone and messed everything up and he didn't know how he could fix this. So his best option at the moment was to run. Just like he used to. 

His mind started flashing with old memories that he had tried so hard to push down, ones he wished he could erase forever, but no amount of crazy apocalyptic shit could send them away. Back then he would escape into the woods when it got real bad, sometimes for days, even weeks. It’s where he taught himself how to survive, to be a hunter. 

He got pretty good as the years went by, honing his self-taught skills. He started small, squirrels and rabbits, setting traps then learning to gut and skin them. It was a meal, but a deer though could last him a week. The first time he caught himself a deer he was so excited, he had been only fifteen, it had taken him four days of tracking and patience.

Daryl felt more at home in the woods than he did in any house, within the confines of four walls. He had always prefered the solitude and safety it provided. It became familiar and he understood the rules. He felt free like he never could amongst people, but eventually he always went back. Always. He thought about Merl and he would go back.

But Rick had changed all that. Daryl had started to get used to having people that he could call family. He was learning how to speak to people and look them in the eyes. Carol would reach out and touch him sometimes and he didn’t even flinch away like he used to. When he thought about it, he even liked the way she treated him. Nothing like his own Ma had. 

He had a place within the group, could be useful and people seemed to appreciate him. He never thought his hunting skills would end up saving people, but Rick told him that’s what he'd done, saved people. 

''We need you Daryl, I need you. Without you our people wouldn't've survived winter and... I would… I’d be lost, you saved me.'' Rick had told him on one of his self-doubting days.

Rick believed he was something and Daryl tried to believe it too and maybe he had even started to, but look where that got him. He had ruined everything. His mind couldn't cope with its downward spiral, so many unwanted thoughts tried to push their way in. He brought his hands up to his head as if that could stop them from entering.

He stood and stared at the trees which he longed to get lost in and sort his head out, but Rick was injured and a half mile from the car. He was torn. How could he possibly face him now though? Now that Rick knows what he is.

Daryl turned and dropped his hands as he saw a stumbling Rick practically fall through the door. The urge to go to him and steady him was strong. Instead he held his ground, not sure how Rick would react. 

-

''Daryl.''

''Yeah, ya said that already.''

Rick was confused. Daryl had just kissed him and he had felt like he was in heaven, now he was standing across from a totally different person. His tone of voice reminded him of when he had first met Daryl.

Rick raised his hands defensively as if coaxing a wild animal. He lowered his voice and tried to make eye contact. He wanted Daryl to see in eyes that he meant no harm.

''Can we talk about this?''

'' 's nothin' ta talk 'bout.''

Daryl turned and walked toward the trees. Rick thought it was in the direction of the car so he followed. Every step he took was a reminder of the pain in his head and how stupid he was to have lost his footing. On the other hand, had he not been so clumsy he may not have ever felt Daryl's lips on his.

He groaned and walked behind Daryl, who was moving swiftly and covered ground quickly, while he tried to gather his thoughts and think of the right words to say. This couldn't be it, he couldn't lose Daryl's friendship. But Daryl had kissed him, not the other way around, so why was he acting like this?

They neared the car and Rick couldn't take the silence anymore.

''Daryl just stop, please. Turn around and let's talk this out. We can't go back like this.''

''Why not? 'm fine.''

''Clearly you aren't.''

They both stared at each other, neither one breaking eye contact or backing down.

''Okay... what happened back there?''

''You fell on ya backside an' almost got yerself killed, tha's what happened!'' Daryl raised his voice slightly.

Rick looked down at the floor and took a breath, hands on his hips. 

''You kissed me, Daryl.''

''Yeah, well I thought you were dead!'' 

As Rick looked up he could see and hear Daryl getting more and more angry, like that time on the roof in Atlanta. He had come to realise it’s Daryl's defence mechanism when he felt backed into a corner and didn't want people to know how he really felt. 

So he decided to change tactics and go for humour, try and lighten the mood.

''You make a habit of kissin' dead people, huh?'' 

Rick instantly knew he had made the wrong choice when Daryl stopped making eye contact with him and looked at the floor, hiding behind his hair. His shoulders were slumped forward in an attempt to make himself smaller and he took a step back away from Rick.

''Fuck you, man.'' Daryl practically whispered.

Rick could hear the anger in his soft voice, but he could also hear something else. Something that made his heart ache. He needed Daryl to look at him. Rick took a step forward and started to reach his arm out towards Daryl.

''Daryl, I'm sor...''

''Fuck you!'' Daryl cut Rick off, slapped his hand away and barged past him, walking away from the car towards the trees.

Rick turned and without thinking made a grab for Daryl’s arm to try and stop him from walking off. Another mistake, he thought, as he felt Daryl tense under his touch. He swung around wrenching his arm from Rick's grasp. The momentum brought his elbow into Rick's face, the unexpected impact made Rick fall to the floor.

Daryl turned and could see a red and purple mark under Rick's eye forming already. 

''Get in the car and go back to the prison.'' Daryl said as he was backing up.

''Daryl, come back with me. I'm sorry, we can sort this out.''

''Just go!''

With that Daryl turned and strode off into the treeline. Rick sat and stared into those trees until he lost track of time. The sun was setting by the time he snapped out of it. His cheek hurt and he could feel his eye closing up. He had to get back to the prison. He just hoped Daryl was heading that way too.

-

Daryl slumped against a tree a couple miles from the car. He hoped for Rick's sake that he hadn't followed him. It will be dark soon and he didn't want Rick out here at night. He also wasn't sure what he would do if he caught up with him. He hadn’t meant to hurt him but he felt damn angry.

He felt it bubbling through him, but the longer he sat there the more he wondered what he had been so angry at Rick for. It wasn't Rick's fault Daryl had kissed him. He was angry at himself for letting his guard down again. He had only made that mistake once before back when he was twelve.

He could remember it like it was yesterday. He was in class, sitting on his own like normal because no one wanted to be friends with a Dixon, when a new kid got introduced to the class. He looked tall for his age and had dark, shaggy hair. 

''Go sit over there, next to Dixon.'' The teacher had told him, pointing to the empty chair at the back next to Daryl. 

The other kids had laughed and sniggered as the new kid made his way over to the only spare seat, but he didn't seem to care and just sat down and smiled across at Daryl.

''Names Calvin.'' He held out his hand. 

Daryl had stared at that hand a while before shaking it with a confused look on his face.

''Daryl.''

''Nice to meet you, Daryl.''

That's where it all started. They spent break time with each other, then lunch time and Calvin even wanted to hang out after school. Daryl had never really had a friend before, which didn’t really bother him. People stayed clear of him because of his brother's reputation and the rumours. They weren't all just rumours though, his Pa did beat on him.

Calvin saw the bruises one time when they were swimming in the lake. He had waded over to Daryl and stepped up behind him, had reached out a hand and gently smoothed his fingers over each of the bruises that were on his back and ribs. Daryl didn't flinch away, he decided he liked how it felt. Maybe it wasn’t so bad having a friend. 

Even after seeing what his Pa had done to him Calvin still wanted to go over to Daryl's place and hang out. Daryl didn't think it was a great idea but had said yes because he did want to spend more time with him. He had been relieved when his Pa was out and he took Calvin up to his room after grabbing them both a can of drink. 

''Wow yer room's awesome, man.'' Calvin said as he spun around taking it all in.

Daryl didn’t get what was awesome about it. He didn’t have much, just some film posters on the walls and a stack of old comics on the floor that he got from Merle. He had a few bolts lying around that he stole from his Dad’s hunting crossbow and luckily not as many dirty clothes scattered about as there usually was. 

Calvin stopped and eyed a knife displayed on the wall by his bed, held up by two nails hammered into the wall. He brought his hand up and ran a finger along the hilt.

“Cool.”

Daryl had felt himself swell with pride. No one had ever said anything of his was cool before. 

''Tha's ma huntin' knife.''

''You hunt?''

''Yeah,'' Daryl smirked, ‘’see’’.

He picked up the knife and raised it up menacingly and started slowly stalking Calvin around his bedroom. Calvin squealed and ran away giggling, tripping over things laying around on the floor as he tried to get away. 

Daryl laughed at his reaction, which spurred him on. He crouched low and pounced, throwing the knife to one side as he wrestled Calvin to the floor. He felt adrenaline running through him. They were both laughing and started rolling around, arms and limbs fighting and tangling. 

''Ah shit man, no ticklin'!'' Calvin shouted between snorts of laughter. 

Daryl ended up on top, leaning over Calvin an inch from his face. They were both panting and staring into each other's eyes, all laughter gone. Calvin squirmed slightly beneath him which made Daryl realise he was hard against Calvin's leg. He froze and felt panic welling up. 

Boys in his class always talked about girls and jerking off. He was never really interested in either, but now there he was popping a boner over a boy. Not just any boy neither, his best friend! He was about to roll off, feeling embarrassed, when Calvin brought his arms up and wrapped them awkwardly around Daryl's neck then he was roughly dragged down into a messy kiss. 

Daryl thought it was the best feeling ever. He came up for air and stared down at Calvin whose face was flushed and lips were swollen from their kiss. He looked beautiful, he wanted more. Just as Daryl started leaning back down for another kiss his bedroom door burst open.

''Wha's all the Goddamn racket up 'ere...'' Daryl's Pa's words froze in his mouth as he locked eyes with Calvin. 

He swayed slightly in the doorway, his face was red from booze and anger.

''Get. Out.'' He spat.

''Cal, run! Go!'' Daryl blurted out as he scrambled to his feet. 

He tried to put himself between his Pa and his best friend. Calvin managed to push past his Pa when his drunken eyes had focused on Daryl. 

His Pa snapped that night. He had grabbed Daryl by the shirt and pushed him over the bed. Daryl had landed face first onto the hard mattress. His Pa undid his belt and slid it free before doubling it up. The belt was brought down onto Daryl's back again and again. His Pa said nothing as he beat his son over and over.

Daryl screamed and cried at first, the pain was immense. He felt his skin tearing and then he just fell silent, completely numb from the intensity of the pain. He lay there with silent tears running down his face. He didn't even notice when his Pa had stopped and left him there sprawled face down on his bed. He must have blacked out at some point.

The beatings carried on after that more regularly and worse than they ever were before. 

Daryl felt tears running down his face at that memory, it was one he had tried so hard to push away. He blinked away the last few tears and stared down at his hand. He had been pressing a sharp stick into his palm, the cut was deep. He pulled the bandana from his back pocket and wrapped it tightly around his bleeding hand. 

The anger had faded and he was just left with sadness and guilt, because of him Calvin had to find another school. His Pa had found where he lived and beat the living daylights out of him. Daryl could barely even recognise his face when he saw him. He never wanted to get close to anyone ever again. That kiss and Calvin's bruised face would always stay with him. 

He had been the one to mark Rick's face and suddenly he couldn't bare that thought. He owed him an explanation, it's the least he could do. Then he would leave, because Rick wouldn't want him around once he knew.

-

The gates were opened and Rick pulled through them. It was dark by the time he got back and it was Carol on watch. Once she closed the gate Carol made her way over to Rick as he was getting out of the car. 

''What on earth happened to you? You look like shit.'' Carol smiled up at him.

''Long story.''

''I got time.'' Carol said as she peered around Rick searching, ''Where is he?''

Rick looked at the floor and tried to think of how to explain this. 

''Let's go to the tower and sit. I'll explain... think I need some advice. Daryl talks to you, right?''

''As much as you can call it talkin'.'' Carol glanced sideways at Rick with a small smile on her face as she walked back to the tower.

Rick climbed up behind her and took a seat on the floor, propped up against a wall. He watched Carol lean against the wall opposite so she could keep watch as well, then she looked at him expectantly. 

''Okay so we were on a run...''

''Rick, get to the point. I know you were on a run, dear.'' Carol interrupted, she needed to know Daryl was alright.

''Okay... we opened a store room and a bunch o' walkers were in there. They surrounded us pretty fast.''

Carol brought a hand up to her throat, ''Oh no, Daryl?''

''No, he's good. He killed more than I did and ended up saving my ass, but I hit my head pretty hard and must have blacked out. Next thing I know...'' Rick paused and looked away.

''Spit it out.''

''He... Daryl... he kissed me.'' Rick looked up to see Carol staring blankly at him, waiting for him to continue. 

''Oh honey, is that what this is all about?'' Carol said when Rick didn't say anymore.

''You don't seem at all surprised.'' Rick felt confused, like he was missing something.

''Rick, you are stupid sometimes. It's clear to see you both care a lot about each other. The way you both stare after each other, it was just a matter of time.''

''Huh, was I that obvious? But Daryl, he doesn't feel the same.'' Rick felt his heart stutter at the thought. 

''Honey, he kissed you didn't he?'' Carol said as if talking to a child.

''Yeah but you didn't see his reaction when I came to. He freaked out and got so angry...'' Rick pointed at the deepening bruise on his face.

''Of course he did.''

''What has he told you?''

''He hasn't needed to. You were there, you saw those awful marks on his back when we were fixin' him up at the farm, you know, when Andrea shot him.''

''Don't' even remind me,'' Rick had wanted to shoot Andrea in the head that day but he was a better shot and wouldn't have missed, ''Yeah, I saw. Seen nothin' like it in all my years on the force.''

''I think you both need to talk. Daryl clearly didn't have an easy life before all this.''

''There's a problem with that. He doesn't wanna talk ta me, I don't even know if he's comin' back.''

''He'll be back. He needs you as much as you need him, it's just not easy for him to admit that.''

''Thanks, Carol.''

''Just look after him, okay.''

Rick got himself to his feet and nodded.

''I might need some lookin’ after maself if he comes back.''

Carol laughed and waved him off, “Make sure you go get somethin’ cold on that shiner and your head.”

Rick made it back to his cell without anyone noticing. It was late and almost everyone was asleep already. He paced back and forth in his cell, clutching a cold cloth to his face, unable to even contemplate sleep himself. Daryl's reaction kept going round in his mind. He needed him to come back so they could talk this out.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl decided he couldn't go back empty handed, he didn't want to deal with the questions that would bring. At least this way it would seem like he had been on a hunt. It also helped calm the nerves he suddenly felt at the thought of talking to Rick about stuff he would rather forget. 

''Shit, what if Rick had told everyone,'' Daryl's thoughts flew into overdrive again, ''No, he wouldn't do that.''

He couldn't think about the 'what ifs' otherwise he would never go back. He just tried to focus on tracking, something he was good at. He came across the odd walker or two which no doubt ended up scaring away his prey. He used his knife to dispose of them so he didn't waste any more bolts. He was in such a rush to leave that store that he had left quite a few of his arrows behind.

It took all day to find a trail and follow it to a small deer grazing in a clearing. He had his crossbow ready as he silently moved closer. His breaths were slow and steady as he crouched low without making a sound. He looked through the sight and lined up his shot. One long exhale and the shot was released, the deer went down.

He spent the next hour gutting it and cleaning it as best he could by a small stream he came across while he was following the tracks. This was something he was familiar with, a part of his life before the apocalypse that had turned out to be useful. He felt like his previous life had just been preparing him for this one. 

When he was done he rinsed his blood soaked bandana out and reapplied it to his hand. The cut was closing up nicely. He slung the deer over his shoulder and started back towards the prison. It would be getting dark again by the time he got back. 

He hoped that he would only have to deal with whoever was on watch, he knew Rick wasn’t due a shift for another few days. They would see the deer and he could avoid awkward questions. Then he could get to his cell without anyone else noticing him. He would talk with Rick in the morning.

-

Rick hadn't slept a wink. He only stopped pacing when his feet started aching, instead he sat on his bunk bouncing his leg up and down. He had hoped to hear Daryl return sometime in the night, but the prison remained quiet. He kept telling himself Daryl would be okay, he was a survivor. He had been away for days on hunts before. 

When the sun came up he went down to the showers. He was thankful they still had water but sadly it was no longer heated. The cold shower woke him up though so he didn't mind. He planned to carry on with his day as normal, so next was breakfast.

It always surprised him how well they ate here at the prison. Today was canned fruit and a slice of malt loaf. It may have been stale but it sure beat thin air, which was all they had before the prison. It made him wonder what Daryl would be eating. They hadn’t taken much in the way of supplies with them.

He wondered if Daryl had slept at all or if he was up all night like Rick was. No matter how hard he tried to carry on as 'normal' he just kept on thinking about Daryl. It didn't help that people kept asking about him either.

''Mornin', didn't see Daryl come back with you last night. Everythin' okay?'' Glenn wondered.

''He err... decided ta stay, ya know, 'cause the store was empty and he doesn't like comin' back empty handed,'' Rick made up on the spot, it seemed believable.

Glenn nodded and carried on eating, seemingly happy to accept Rick's answer. He put his food down and took his usual seat, but Rick felt edgy, the empty seat next to him was tormenting him. He was used to Daryl being there plastered to his side. 

They had gradually sat closer and closer during their time at the prison. It started with the occasional brush of shoulders then knees knocking together, then thighs pressing close... now that he thought about it, Daryl didn't get that close to anyone. 

Had he been missing the signs in his own fear of not wanting to ruin what they had or was he just reading too much into this? He hadn't been himself after Lori but now he was seeing things more clearly. When Daryl comes back he was going to make his feelings clear. Life was too short in this new world and he was fast realising he wanted to spend his with Daryl.

After breakfast he made his way to the farm he had been working on with Carl, he couldn't wait around for Daryl to come home like some lost puppy. His mind wondered though, as he worked, to that time Daryl had found him some seeds while on a run and came over straight away to give them to him. He had looked bashful and shy now Rick came to think of it. 

The memories started piling in then. All of the tools that Daryl managed to find and bring back, just for him. All those times Daryl reached out and patted him on the stomach or touched his shoulder. Nights they spent together keeping each other company while on watch, sometimes talking a little and others in comfortable silence. 

Then there was that kiss. Daryl had kissed him. His mind started to run away with him at the possibilities of where that kiss could have lead, where those lips could have gone. He imagined how Daryl's hair would feel tickling his skin as Daryl pressed kisses down his chest. 

He was going to need another cold shower if he didn't stop the direction his thoughts were headed. He took a deep breath and got back to work, determined to have at least some of his day free of Daryl-related daydreams. 

-

The day passed without incident, but not without more fantasising. There was still no sign of Daryl so he trudged back up to the prison covered in dirt, incredibly sexually frustrated and hungry for dinner. He went and washed up, otherwise Carol wouldn't let him have any food, and made his way back to where the group were sat down to eat. 

''Didn't go according ta plan then?'' Maggie said as Rick sat down opposite her and Glenn.

''Plan? What plan?''

''Oh come on Rick, we ain't stupid,'' Maggie answered.

Rick stared blankly at them.

''You wantin' ta go out alone with Daryl, comin' back with a shiner,'' Maggie raised her eyebrows and looked pointedly at Rick's cheek. 

Rick brought his fingers to his face and the memories of how it got there surfaced. He closed his eyes briefly, regretting all the mistakes he had made when trying to talk with Daryl.

''It wasn't like that. It was a run for supplies that Judith needed and I knew it would be quicker with just the two of us.''

''Right,'' Glenn chimed in.

''It all went pear shaped. Daryl got me back to the car and said he wanted to bring somethin' back so he went huntin','' Rick had never been good at lying and he had the feeling Maggie could see right through him.

''It's okay Rick. I get it,'' Maggie full on winked at him before getting up and taking her empty plate to the wash area.

''Just ignore her, she likes to think she knows things,'' Glenn said in an attempt to reassure Rick.

''It's kinda creepy,'' Rick whispered.

''Yeah and she usually isn't wrong.''

Rick didn't want to lie, he wanted everyone to know how he felt. Daryl being gone had made him realise just how much he needed him and wanted him. But he didn't think Daryl would want him screaming it from the watchtowers so he changed the subject.

''So who's on watch tonight?''

''Me.''

''Mind if I take ya shift?''

Glenn looked confused but didn't question a night off, ''Sure thing, Rick.''

''Not sleepin' so well, might as well make maself useful,'' Rick felt the need to explain.

''Mags, I got the night off,'' Glenn called over to Maggie. 

Maggie came bouncing back and practically scooped Glenn up. She eyed Rick and then winked at him again as she dragged Glenn up the stairs to their cell. They had the cell farthest from everyone else, for obvious reasons.

Rick finished his food then made his way to the watch tower nearest the gate, avoiding as many people as he could. He couldn't face any more questions about Daryl, it just reminded him of how much he had let the hunter down. 

He should never have left him out there. All it took was a misplaced elbow and Rick scurried off home. Maybe he had gone soft since starting the farm. He knew people had been talking since he took a step back from leadership. But he didn't want Carl only knowing violence as he grew up.

At least this way he would be there when Daryl came back. It had only been a day and already he was feeling the loss of not having Daryl with him. The light was only just beginning to fade and he felt like he was in for another long and lonely night.

He was clean and he was fed, that just left one last problem. Spending all day imagining the ways Rick could make use of Daryl's lips had made him incredibly aroused. Now that he found himself alone again his mind instantly went back to those thoughts. He adjusted himself in his trousers to try and get comfortable. 

Just one small kiss and he was all over the place. He hadn't felt like this before, not even with Lori. With her they had been childhood sweethearts, then marriage and family soon followed. It just seemed like the natural progression. But this feeling, he could feel it all the way to his toes.

There was no way he could focus on an important conversation in the state he was in, at least that's what he told himself as he rubbed at his erection through his trousers. He needed a clear head for when Daryl got back.

Rick leaned back against the wall in a standing position, legs slightly parted. He could still keep an eye out this way. He dropped a hand to his belt and made quick work of it, leaving it hanging open as he undid his button and zip. He pulled himself free and gave his cock a squeeze. He was glad no one would witness this because he knew he wasn't going to last long.

He started with long, slow strokes. Rick allowed his mind to wander back to thoughts of those gorgeous lips. He imagined Daryl kissing his neck, running his tongue along his collarbone and down to suck on a nipple. His cock pulsed and twitched and the speed of his strokes increased. His breath came in short bursts, he had to put his other hand back against the wall to steady himself. 

He pictured Daryl moving down his body to kneel in front of him, looking up at him through his hair with those eyes. That's all it took, he groaned and threw his head back as he came hard all over Daryl's imaginary face. His legs shook with the intensity of it. He slid down the wall and stared into the emptiness in front of him. 

-

Daryl was feeling the strain after carrying the deer for miles. He was glad to see the prison come into view as he cleared the trees. He made his way towards the gate and saw a familiar figure coming to let him in. It was pretty dark but he would know that walk and that silhouette anywhere. Rick.

Daryl heaved out a sigh, knowing his plan to sneak in and talk in the morning was never going to happen now. The gate swung open and was quickly closed behind him. 

''Daryl...''

''Yeah I know,'' Daryl interrupted, ''we need ta talk. Jus' let me get washed up and I'll meet you in the tower.''

Rick nodded, but before turning to leave he said, ''I'm glad yer back.''

Daryl shot Rick a sideways glance, but didn't say anything. He didn’t know what to say to that, it wasn’t what he had expected. As he glanced over he noticed the bruise on Rick’s cheek which made his stomach churn. He never wanted to turn out like his Pa.

He stepped closer to Rick raising his arm slowly with the intention of touching that dark smudge, but noticed Rick tense slightly, his heart sank. He dropped his arm, backed away and looked at the ground. He didn’t want to see the look in Rick’s perfect blue eyes. He didn’t want to know what Rick really thought of him.

He turned and made his way to the cell block they all shared without looking back. His first stop was the kitchen area to store the deer, he would sort it later. Deer blood had leaked all down one side of him so he decided on a shower and a change of shirt. 

He knew he was putting off facing Rick, he wasn't usually one for long showers. He finished up and pulled on his old trousers but grabbed a relatively clean shirt from his cell. It was warm, even at this time of night, so he left his leather waistcoat behind.

With one last heavy sigh he made his way back to the tower where Rick was waiting. He scuffed his feet along the dirt as he walked, contemplating how to say what he needed to say. He doesn’t do so well with words so he just hoped Rick would help him out.

-

Rick could hear Daryl approaching, which unsettled him, the hunter rarely made a sound. Rick moved away from the entrance and stood leaning against the far wall, that way Daryl wouldn't feel cornered or trapped. He waited and listened.

''Hey,'' Daryl said as he entered the space.

''Hey… I… I meant it when I said I'm glad yer back.''

Daryl crossed the space, leaned against the wall next to Rick then slid down to the floor. He sat in silence, which Rick took to mean he was supposed to join him. He took a seat on the floor next to him, resting an arm on his raised knee.

''Successful hunt then? Everyone'll be happy. Looks like enough ta feed us plenty for a month. Carol has got good at rationin'...'' Rick knew he was babbling.

''We here ta talk 'bout the deer?'' Daryl interrupted while fiddling with something on the floor.

''No, yer right. Sorry, I...''

''Na, I got some stuff I need ta say ta you.''

Rick was staring at Daryl willing him to look up, to make eye contact. They hadn't yet and it was driving Rick mad. He hadn't even realised he needed it so much until he didn't have it. But Daryl just continued to look down, eyes hidden by his hair, playing with whatever he had found on the floor.

''Ya know I ain't no good at this, Rick, but gotta get this out. You deserve answers and I'm gonna give 'em to you.'' 

Daryl did look up then, turning to face Rick slightly. He slowly brought his trembling hand up to Rick's bruised face. Daryl noticed Rick tense again, but he carried on.

''Didn't want ta hurt you.''

''Daryl, it was an accident. I shouldn't have grabbed you.''

Daryl's fingers were brief and feather-light on Rick's cheek, he longed for more. Daryl turned back, dropping his hand away.

''Don't know how ya can even sit 'ere with me afta what I did... I thought you were dead.''

''Daryl, you don't have t’apologise...''

''Yeah man, I do. You just... I've wanted to...'' Daryl brought his hands up and scrubbed them down his face.

Rick moved closer and went to put an arm around Daryl's shoulders. Daryl shrugged him off and moved away slightly.

''Don't.''

Rick was at a loss. He was receiving mixed signals and it was confusing the hell out of him. He wanted to pull Daryl to him and tell him everything was okay, but he didn't fancy another black eye.

''Why don't you tell me what you wanted ta say?''

Daryl took a visibly shaky breath and said, ''I'm all wrong inside, Rick. I didn't even realize it 'til I was twelve...''


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: talk of past self-harm

Rick quickly decided that he absolutely hated seeing Daryl like this. The way he spoke in a monotone and looked at the floor while he recalled the first time he met a boy called Calvin and how their friendship developed, it made his heart ache. 

He felt he had to physically stop himself from reaching out, knowing Daryl needed to get this out and touching him would just interrupt him. Daryl made a noise like he was trying to hold back a sob when he got to the bit where the boy had reached up and kissed him. 

''Rick, I didn't know what it meant, just knew it felt right.''

''It's okay, Daryl. I get it.''

''How could you?''

''I think I felt somethin' similar when I woke up ta you kissin' me. I didn't wan' it to end.''

''I got it all wrong, didn't I?''

Rick nodded but didn't speak, aware that Daryl had more he wanted to say.

''My Pa found out, walked in on us foolin' round. He flipped. The way he looked I thought he was gonna kill him. I panicked an' shouted for 'im ta go, ta run. He looked so scared.''

Daryl glanced up with red rimmed eyes and looked at Rick.

''I thought if he got out it would just be me that got it. My Pa didn't stop at me though, he went after 'im. I could barely recognise 'im when my Pa was done with 'im. He left, moved away not long after that. He didn't wanna speak ta me. I didn't even get ta say goodbye.''

''Daryl, that's horrible,'' Rick's own eyes began to sting with the promise of tears, ''What happened ta you?''

Daryl looked back down, returning to his monotone.

''I got the belt. He only used that when he was real mad. Only seen 'im use it on Merle before. I must'a blacked out coz I remember wakin' up an' he was gone.''

''The marks on your back...''

''Yeah, the belt tore clean though ma shirt. I managed ta peel it off, hurt somethin' crazy, needed stitches. Doctors had too many questions though.''

''Nothin' happened with yer Pa?''

''Na, I jus' learnt ta stitch maself up in the end. It was bad at first but I stopped screamin' eventually which seemed ta make 'im get bored real quick. Didn't bring no friends home neither, not that I ever had any ta bring anyway.''

Daryl rested his head back on the wall, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Rick. The small contact was comforting.

''He used ta call me all sorts'a names while he worked on me. I never been that interested in stuff like that before Calvin, just thought I was different somehow, but I got me some girlfriends over the years. Pa would lay off me for a time then. Never worked out with 'em though, they always wanted more'en I could give.''

''Daryl...''

''Fuck man, don't look at me like that. Don’t need no pity.''

Daryl looked at Rick with a challenge in his eyes. Rick didn't want a fight but if that's what Daryl needed he would let him have one.

''This ain't pity. Yer family, Daryl, and it hurts like Hell hearin' what you been through.''

Rick turned to Daryl and waited to see where this would go.

''Talkin' 'bout all this shit makes me edgy. Never told no one before.''

''Thank you.''

''Fa what?'' Daryl said, the shock and confusion evident.

''Tellin' me.''

''Ain't nothin'. So now ya know.''

''Now I know.''

''I can be gone by mornin'. No one'll even know. You can tell 'em whatever...''

''What? No!'' Rick interrupted, he couldn't help it, he reached out and grabbed Daryl's arm.

Daryl looked down at Rick's hand touching him, but didn't flinch or pull away.

''No?''

''Have you not heard nothin' I've said? When you kissed me... I didn't want you ta stop.''

Rick's mouth went dry, suddenly nervous that Daryl would want to leave anyway, wouldn't want to stay for him.

''Please don't go, I need you.''

Daryl still stared at the hand on his arm. He didn't expect Rick to accept him, he heard him but it was real hard to believe. His Pa's voice was telling him that no one would want him, that he was broken. 

''But when I went ta touch you, ya tensed up like ya didn't want me near you.''

''Daryl,'' Rick let out a little sigh and lifted the arm he had hold of, placing Daryl's hand on his chest right where his heart was pounding, ''Feel that?''

Daryl looked at his hand over Rick's chest and nodded his head slowly.

''When I'm near you my heart does crazy thangs. When you stepped towards me earlier I didn't tense up because I wanted you ta stop, it was in anticipation. I thought you were gonna reach out and touch me. I wanted you ta touch me.''

Daryl looked up then and stared into Rick's eyes, searching, hoping to find truth there. 

''There're some thangs I need ta tell you too.''

Daryl nodded but didn't say anything. Neither moving their hands away from where they lay over Rick's chest. Daryl could feel Rick's heart as it began to slam out a nervous rhythm.

''Daryl, I been thinkin' 'bout you for a while now. Probably longer than I care to admit. You been there for me an' ma family. Yer practically a daddy to ma kids.''

Daryl shifted so he was facing Rick more. 

''I wish I had hit ma damn head sooner. Kissin' you...'' Rick closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, ''I ain't never felt like that before.''

''Shit,'' was all Daryl could manage.

''Daryl, can I kiss you?''

Daryl felt both stupid and ridiculously happy that Rick had asked permission. He nodded and leaned forward to emphasise his readiness. Rick closed the gap, their lips coming together, softly at first. 

Rick reached up, framed Daryl's face with his hands and rubbed his thumb back and forth across his cheek. He struggled to keep the kiss gentle as his body started to react. He had wanted this so bad, it was all he had been thinking about.

Daryl moved onto Rick's lap, placing a knee either side of him, while Rick deepened the kiss. He felt like he fit perfectly. He couldn't believe this was happening. The kiss made him feel lightheaded, which might also be because he'd barely eaten for two days. He put one hand on the wall by Rick's head to steady himself and the other on his waist. 

He had expected to be on his way out of the prison on his own by now. Instead he was in heaven. He felt Rick's tongue pressing at the join of his lips, he opened allowing Rick's tongue in. Rick's groan spurred him on so he tangled their tongues together. 

Rick's head was a mess, he couldn't get a single coherent thought going. All he could think about was those lips and that tongue. He shifted his hips to try and adjust himself, his growing erection pressed uncomfortably against his trousers. 

Daryl noticed Rick's hardness slide against him as he shifted position. He felt his own erection respond to the movement. A part of him wanted this more than anything but another part started to panic. He tried to push that part down and enjoy the feeling. He knew he was safe with Rick, but he just couldn't shake that anxious feeling.

Rick noticed the change in Daryl and pulled back. He took in gulps of air and tried to steady his pounding heart.

''Daryl, fuck...''

Daryl rested his forehead against Rick's.

''Rick, I can't...''

''Hey,'' Rick ducked his head so he could make eye contact, ''It's okay. I just wanna kiss you, can't help it if I like it,'' Rick smiled.

Daryl smiled back and brought his hand up to Rick's face. He wasn't sure what he did to deserve this. He was a Dixon, not worth anything.

''Daryl, your hand,'' Rick hadn't noticed the makeshift bandage until now.

Rick could tell Daryl was getting uncomfortable so he welcomed the distraction. He took Daryl's hand in both of his and started to peel back the bandana.

''It's fine, you don't have ta...''

''Shhh, let me,'' Rick said as he studied the deep gash on Daryl's palm.

''It's fine,'' Daryl repeated much quieter this time.

''Daryl, what is this?'' Rick could tell it was self-inflicted. 

Daryl moved off of Rick's lap but was unable to remove his hand from Rick's grip.

''You don't need ta worry. 'm fine.''

''You do this kinda thing often?''

Daryl shook his head, ''Not no more.''

''Then why?'' 

''Rick, please,'' Daryl's voice was barely audible.

Rick could tell he was losing Daryl. He had opened up so much to him and he didn't want to push him too far. 

''Let's go get you cleaned up, ma shift is almost over. Go grab the first aid kit and wait for me in yer cell.''

-

Rick watched as Daryl disappeared from view. He slid down the wall and slumped to the floor. He was going to forever be in a constant state of arousal around Daryl from now on.

''Fuck.''

He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He was hard as a rock even though he had sorted himself out earlier and he didn't have time to do anything about it. Carol would be up soon to take his place. He took a few deep breaths and tried not to think about how Daryl had felt as he moved onto his lap and tangled their tongues together. 

Instead he thought about what Daryl had said. Daryl had spoken more than he ever had before. He sat for a while trying to process it all. Daryl had been just a kid when he got those scars on his back. He felt anger start to bubble away under the surface. He imagined ripping that bastards fucking throat out... and breathe. Rick's anger wasn't what Daryl needed right now.

He would never let anything like that happen to Daryl ever again. He made a promise to himself to make Daryl feel nothing but loved and wanted. He was so used to Daryl being the strong one that seeing him that broken just seemed so wrong. 

Daryl had helped him when he was at his lowest so he wanted to return the favour, but not just because of that. He was beginning to realise this wasn't just some physical attraction, but something much deeper.

''Shifts over. See ya took Glenn's watch. That mean Daryl made it back?'' Carol said, tearing Rick from his thoughts. 

''Yeah, he's back,'' Rick said as he stood up to leave, ''He told me stuff Carol... thangs. I don't wanna screw this up.'' 

''Oh honey, you ain't gonna screw nothin' up. It’s obvious he trusts you. Just take it slow.''

''No wonder Daryl talks ta you, you say just the right thangs.''

With that he left, making his way to Daryl's cell. It was early hours of the morning but the sun wasn't up yet. He was hoping he and Daryl could talk some more and get some sleep before sun up. He wanted to know where they stood before having to face everyone again at breakfast.

-

Daryl wasn't sure how he felt. Rick hadn't told him to leave once he found out what he really was, he seemed okay with it, even seemed to like him back. But he couldn't do what he knew Rick would want, he just couldn't. The kissing had felt so good though, he hoped Rick would be patient with him.

Then there was the cut on his hand. How had Rick known he had done it himself? Must be some kind of weird cop thing, he thought. It wasn't a bad one, it was healing already, didn't even need stitches. He remembered one time when he was just about fourteen and he cut too deep. He was glad he had all that practice with stitching himself up. 

He tried to focus on finding the first aid kit and not let his past wash him away. It was all swimming around his head threatening to consume him. There was too much. He had spent a lot of years pushing it all down and now it was all spilling out. All sorts of memories were flooding back.

He found the medical supplies and went through all the things he thought Rick would want to use. It settled him to focus on something, doing what Rick had asked. He packed it into a small bag and made his way back to his cell. He was thankful it was so late. No one else was about to see him or speak to him.

He pulled the sheet back that covered the doorway to his cell and went over to his bunk. He sat on the edge of the bed and put the medical supplies on his lap. Now he had stopped again his thoughts started resurfacing. He told himself that Rick would be here soon and that gave him some comfort. So he sat and he waited.

-

Rick made his way to Daryl's cell. He didn't have a clue what he was doing, he really didn't want to mess things up. He needed Daryl and didn't want to do anything to change what they had. He guessed he had already done that though when he asked if he could kiss him. 

Just thinking about that kiss had his cock stirring in his trousers again. He needed to focus, Daryl seemed freaked out by the pace of things back in the tower. He needed to slow things up. Rick thought that being with Daryl Dixon was like trying to tame a wild animal.

With that thought he reached Daryl's cell. He stood outside for a moment and took a few deep breathes. He coughed a little so Daryl knew he was there then pulled the privacy sheet back. 

''Hey, okay to come in?''

Rick saw Daryl perched on the edge of the bed with the first aid supplies on his lap, waiting just as he had told him to. The sight had his cock stirring again so he briefly closed his eyes. He was acting like a horny teenager.

Daryl nodded but didn't say anything. He just sat there and stared up at Rick, waiting. Rick thought he looked apprehensive and he didn't like it, it wasn't how he was used to Daryl being with him. He took the small bag from Daryl and set it down on the makeshift table by the bed.

''Mind if I sit?'' Rick said, motioning to the space next to Daryl.

''Don't hav'ta ask.''

Rick sat and the bunk dipped making Daryl slide into him slightly.

''Daryl, what happened back there... I...''

Daryl's heart raced as he saw Rick look to the floor as he spoke. He knew it was too good to be true, Rick had changed his mind and Daryl couldn't deal with the rejection he imagined was coming.

''Rick, I get it. S'okay. I can still leave by mornin','' Daryl interrupted.

''Daryl, no... don't say that. I never want you to leave my side again. I don't ever wanna feel again how I felt these last few days.'' 

Rick brought a hand up to Daryl's jaw and turned his head to face him. He wanted Daryl to see his eyes when he said this.

''I want you and I need you. Tell me you won't leave.''

Daryl nodded, ''Rick...''

Rick leaned forward and brought their lips together. It was the only way he thought he could show Daryl how he really felt. He tried to pour all of his unspoken feelings into the kiss. He wanted Daryl to feel loved, wanted him to know his worth and what he meant to Rick.

''Don't leave,'' Rick said with his lips pressed to Daryl's.

''Okay,'' Daryl's head was spinning, ''I won't leave. I jus' thought...''

''You thought wrong,'' Rick pulled away from the kiss and stared into Daryl's eyes, ''You thought wrong.'' He repeated.

Rick felt a ton of emotions buzzing through him. His heart was in his throat. He needed to focus on something else or he felt like he would just breakdown and cry at how happy he was that Daryl was back and they were talking and kissing. 

''Let's take a look at that hand.''

Rick got to his knees and maneuvered himself between Daryl's parted legs. He looked up at him to check this was okay. Daryl nodded so Rick carried on. 

He grabbed the antiseptic wipes from the bag and put them next to Daryl on the bed. He slowly started to remove the bandana that Daryl had put back on his hand. The cut looked like it was healing well, if a little dirty. 

''How'd you do this?'' Rick asked while he worked.

''Didn't even realise I done it 'til I snapped outta ma thoughts.''

Rick grabbed a wipe and started cleaning around the wound. He took his time, enjoying the freedom of being able to touch Daryl.

''Seems I used a stick'a some kind. Always used ta be whatever was ta hand. It's like I black out when I think too much on stuff and when I come back I've done somethin' ta maself.''

Rick's stomach joined his heart in his throat. How could someone as strong as Daryl do something like this to himself?

''You used ta do stuff like this before?''

He felt Daryl tense under his touch and instantly regretted asking. He carried on cleaning the cut and pulled out clean gauze and a bandage from the pack. It seemed like an age before Daryl answered. 

''You really wanna know this stuff?''

Rick stopped what he was doing and looked up at Daryl.

''I want to know everythang about you,'' Rick said and he realised how much that was true. 

He wanted to know everything there was to know and he wanted to heal more than the cut on Daryl's hand. He couldn't rip Daryl's Pa's throat out but he could help heal the wounds he had caused. He finished up with the bandage and stood up. 

Rick gently pushed Daryl's shoulders so he slid back on the bed. Rick moved onto the bunk next to him and pulled Daryl down so they were lying facing each other. 

''Tell me,'' Rick whispered as he brought a hand up to push some of Daryl's hair from his eyes.

Daryl stared at Rick wide eyed. He didn't get what was happening. They were in bed together but Rick wanted to talk.

''Rick, I ain't good at this.''

''When was the first time you did somethang like this?'' Rick looked down at Daryl's hand as he asked. 

Daryl closed his eyes briefly at the memory. He could do this, for Rick. 

''I was about nine.''

''Nine?'' Rick blinked back sudden tears threatening to spring from his eyes, ''What happened?''

''It was just like any other night. Ma was cryin' after Pa had come home drunk and beat 'er. Merle had pushed me inta my room an' slammed the door shut so I couldn't see what was happenin'.''

Rick kept quiet, waiting for Daryl to continue. He wanted this, all of Daryl. 

''Heard Merle shoutin' at Pa, 'you gone too far!' Remember hearin' more fightin'. I pressed ma hands to ma ears but I could still hear. Was gettin' so angry I hit maself on ma leg. The pain made the pain inside go away. I hit and hit until I had a bruise on ma leg the size of ma fist.''

Daryl looked at Rick, whose face was so close. He didn't look angry, just sad. He didn't like it.

''You don't wanna hear all this.''

''Yeah, Daryl, I do. I wanna know what makes you, you.''

Daryl nodded, still confused, but carried on.

''I'd press on the bruise whenever I felt eveythin' buildin' up inside. But it ended up not bein' enough. Ended up using a penknife... seeing the blood bead at the surface was like all those horrible feelings were comin' out.''

Rick reached up and wiped at a tear that had run down Daryl's face. 

Daryl hadn't even realised he was crying, but he had started now so he would carry on.

''One day I came home from school ta find the house burned ta the ground. Dad and Merle were with the police and I just stood there. Later they said Ma had started the fire that killed her. Pa couldn't cope and his answer was ta beat on Merle and me. Merle tried ta protect me. The cuttin' got pretty bad after Ma died.''

''Daryl...''

''You wanted ta know. Now ya know.''

Rick nodded and brought both hands up to frame Daryl's face. He moved slowly until his lips brushed lightly against Daryl's. 

''I ain't a fuckin' china doll,'' Daryl said before he could stop his anger rising.

Talking about this shit didn't ever do him any good, he always got angry. His school had tried making him see someone about it once because he threw a chair at a wall one time. It did seem to help, but when his Pa found out he put a stop to it and Daryl got a severe beating for it, didn't want family business being spoken about to no one. 

Rick, however, didn't back down or stop at Daryl's outburst, he just deepened the kiss and moved his hands into Daryl's hair. Their tongues wrestled and their breathing quickened. Daryl's thoughts started to blur and fade, only able to think about Rick and what his mouth was doing.

Rick loved how Daryl's hair felt running through his fingers. He grabbed a fistful and tugged gently. He heard Daryl groan into his mouth so he gave another pull. Daryl let out another moan and pressed himself closer. 

''You like that?''

Daryl nodded. When Rick pulled his hair like that he felt his anger lessen, the pain replacing the red mist with something else. There was so much more Rick didn't know about him, but right at that moment Daryl let himself get lost in Rick.

Rick remembered how Daryl had started to panic back in the tower and while he still had some of his brain power left he slowed the pace. He pulled back and stared into Daryl's eyes. His cock was throbbing against Daryl's leg and he was sure he could feel Daryl's hardness pressed against him too.

''It's almost sunrise, let's try and get some sleep.''

Daryl knew what Rick was doing and he was grateful. He wanted this but he wasn't ready yet.

''Stay.'' Daryl's eyes pleaded.

''Of course.''

Daryl turned to face the wall and pressed himself back against Rick who brought his arm around Daryl and held him close. 

''Yer Pa ain't here ta hurt you no more.''

Daryl closed his eyes and felt for the first time like someone cared. He felt like a little broken kid but he felt safe with Rick. He could do this and maybe Rick could help him like he seemed to want to. Daryl closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep after two sleepless nights. 

Rick's eyes were heavy with his own sleep deprivation, but his thoughts were running wild. He hoped he knew what he was doing. He didn't want to cause Daryl any more harm. He hoped he could help him and show him how much he needed him. It broke his heart knowing what was behind Daryl's strong exterior and silent, weary eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Rick's eyes started to blink open. It took a few moments for him to orient himself. He had rolled onto his back in the night and noticed a warm body pressed against his side. Daryl. He smiled wide for the first time in a very long time. Rick was surprised he had woken up before the hunter.

As that thought crossed his mind he felt Daryl stir. He stared down at the top of Daryl's messy bed head and smiled again. He took a deep breath and sighed in contentment, this felt right. Rick's smile quickly turned into a frown when he felt Daryl tense and noticed his slow sleepy breaths had started to become more rapid. 

Before Rick knew what was happening Daryl was on top of him, one hand wrapped tightly around Rick's throat and the other by his head to steady himself. 

''Just try it. Just fuckin' try it! I'm stronger than you now!'' Daryl whispered between clenched teeth, breathing hard.

Daryl's eyes were glazed over, like he wasn't really there. Rick stayed perfectly still and tried to breath as much as he could with Daryl's fingers tight around his neck.

''Daryl... I ain't gonna... hurt you,'' Rick croaked out, ''Daryl...''

Rick saw Daryl blink a few times and could see his eyes begin to focus. He could tell the moment when clarity returned because Daryl's eyes widened and his grip loosened. 

''Rick...'' Daryl sounded small and far away, ''Shit.''

Rick brought his arms up and pulled Daryl to him before he could scramble away, he held him close and rubbed his back gently.

''It's okay. You're okay.''

Daryl held onto Rick for a moment, allowing himself some comfort. When he had bad dreams he usually woke up alone, but he knew he sometimes cried out or made noises because his Pa would always shout at him for waking him up. That's why he had tried to stay away from the others in the group at night, he didn't want people to hear him and make a fuss.

Reluctantly he slid off of Rick and propped himself up on an elbow, he needed to explain. He stared into Rick's eyes and hesitantly put a hand on Rick's chest as if waiting for Rick to knock it away or say something. Rick stayed still and just waited for Daryl to speak when he was ready.

''Didn't mean ta do that,'' Daryl broke eye contact when he said, ''I never want ta hurt ya, Rick.''

''I know,'' Rick said and covered Daryl's hand with his, ''That musta been one hell of a bad dream.'' 

Rick couldn't help himself, he reached across with his other hand and slid his fingers through some of the stray strands of hair near Daryl's eyes, moving them to one side. 

''I'm pretty messed up right? My nightmares... they weren't jus' dreams once, they happened. Guess tha's what makes 'em so damn real feelin'. Ain't woken up next ta someone in a long time neither, must'a freaked me out.''

''You wanna talk about it?''

Daryl shook his head, ''...can't, not about that. 'Sides, I told ya enough already, you don't wanna hear no more.''

Rick didn't argue, he knew Daryl would tell him when he was ready. He figured there was more to Daryl's past than he had previously spoken about, but Rick felt like he needed time for his heart to recover from what he had already been told so he didn't press the issue.

''I will always wanna hear more. I want ta know all o' you, but I get it.''

Daryl stayed silent, just watching Rick. 

''So, what now?'' Rick broke the silence.

Daryl frowned and looked confused. Rick saw worry in his eyes too and he didn't like it.

''I mean, what do we tell people? We need ta go ta breakfast soon. You've barely eaten in days.''

''Tell people? I ain't tellin' no one the shit I told you!'' Daryl said as he felt panic rising.

''Daryl... look at me, Daryl,'' Rick gave the hand on his chest a squeeze to get his attention, ''What we gonna say about this... about us?'' Rick suddenly felt nervous.

''...us.'' Daryl tried the word out and repeated it a few times in his head.

''I can't go back ta how we were,'' Rick said when he realised Daryl wasn't going to say anything else, ''This... wakin' up next ta you, being able to reach out and touch you... kiss you.''

Daryl tried to process everything Rick was saying. Things had moved pretty fast, just a few days ago he was fantasizing about Rick and now here he was in bed with the man. Fully clothed though, seems they were so exhausted they didn't even remove their boots before falling asleep.

''I don't wanna go back neither, Rick.''

''...but?'' Rick could hear the hesitation in Daryl's voice.

''I ain't ready fa tellin' no one yet. Hell, I don't even know what this is, how am I 'sposed ta explain it ta anyone else?''

Rick tried to understand and wanted to give Daryl time, but he hated lying. He also knew he was going to find it difficult to keep his hands off of the hunter now that he knew he could touch him how he'd wanted to for so long. This was going to be difficult, but he would keep his hands to himself if that's what Daryl needed. 

''Plus, ain't right tellin' everyone and not speakin' ta Carl first.''

Rick groaned at that. He didn't know how Carl would take this, so soon after Lori too. Daryl was right, they needed to figure out what they had before telling people. He didn't want to think about how that conversation might go.

''Okay, we wait. I’ll try and keep my hands ta maself,'' Rick rolled over and pushed Daryl underneath him, ''just don't look at me like that... or walk that way you do with yer hips... or sit so close at breakfast... or carry yer crossbow ever... or talk... and we should be fine,'' Rick smiled sweetly at Daryl. 

Daryl was startled by Rick's sudden movement, but found he quite liked being pinned underneath Rick. He smiled up at him at his words and his daft facial expression.

''Don't leave me much.''

''Maybe we should both jus' stay up here in yer cell until we can figure out what this is between us,'' Rick said and wiggled his eyebrows.

Daryl laughed and Rick's heart stuttered. He could listen to the man laugh forever, it was such a rare occurrence. 

Rick gave an exaggerated sigh and said, ''Okay, add laughing to the list too.'' 

Daryl was about to respond but Rick leaned down and brought their lips together. The kiss quickly turned from playful to passionate, lips crashing together and tongues wrestling. Rick felt Daryl's cock growing harder against his thigh, he shifted so his own sensitive erection could seek the friction it desired. The sensation dragged a moan out of him. 

He started to rock his hips back and forth, grinding them together, creating more friction. He needed release after all the teasing, his heated body finding a rhythm of its own accord. 

''Rick,'' Daryl panted.

Rick could see panic starting to bloom in Daryl's eyes. He stilled immediately and brought a hand to Daryl's face.

''What's wrong?''

Daryl felt ridiculous. This was feeling amazing and he really didn't want Rick to stop. All of their kissing sessions had left him impossibly hard and he knew he was leaking already, he could feel the wetness in his trousers. But being pinned under Rick and the sensations brought back terrible memories in strange flashes. 

''I just... can't...''

''Hey, it's okay,'' Rick said for the second time and leaned down for a more gentle kiss, ''need ta get breakfast anyways, you know what Carol's like if we're late.''

Rick took a few deep, steadying breaths and then got up off the bed. He felt uncomfortable in his trousers and knew his hardness was plain to see. He didn't want to hide his arousal but didn't want to freak Daryl out either. That’s twice he has wanted to stop now, there was definitely something Daryl wasn't telling him.

''Rick...'' Daryl shifted and sat on the edge of the bed, ''I understand if you...''

''If you say 'want to leave' or 'want you to leave' or anythin' remotely like that I swear I'll... I'll tie you up so you won't be able to leave,'' Rick interrupted trying to joke but realising how bad that sounded. 

Rick closed the space between them and pulled Daryl up to his feet and into his arms. 

''I can wait as long as it takes. It's you I want. Ya hear me? You. I've wasted enough time dreamin' about you, now I've got you I'm not lettin' go.''

Daryl didn't know what to say, he actually felt tears welling up. All he seemed to be doing lately was crying. He wasn't used to being treated like this or feeling so emotional. Rick had stopped every time Daryl said he couldn't carry on. He melted into Rick and clung to him, knowing that as soon as they went down to breakfast he needed to put on his usual persona again. 

Rick stepped back, pulling them apart gently as he brought Daryl's chin up so he could look into his eyes. 

''Breakfast?'' Rick said as he wiped away a stray tear from Daryl's cheek.

Daryl nodded and followed Rick as he led the way.

-

''Like I said, Daryl stayed out ta hunt. He brought back a deer...''

Daryl heard Rick talking to Maggie and Glenn. He wondered how many times he had been quizzed by the couple. He was currently receiving a barrage of questions himself from Beth who was rocking Judith in her arms as she spoke. Daryl just stood and waited for her to take a breath. 

''...we were all so worried, 'specially when we saw Rick's face. Quite the bruise,'' Beth said and glanced over at Rick to emphasise her point.

''Ya know how a run can turn out sometimes,'' Is all Daryl could think of to say, ''Can I hold 'er?''

Beth beamed at him and passed Judith over. Daryl loved holding her and feeding her when he got the chance. It also worked as a distraction from further questions. He stared down at her round baby face and big beautiful eyes and started bouncing her gently in his arms. 

'Hey there, lil' ass kicker, missed you,'' Daryl didn't use a baby voice like the others did, he spoke to her like he would anyone else, ''Yer gettin' heavy.'' 

As he looked up at Beth, he noticed Rick was staring at him. 

Rick looked at him like he wanted to devour him and it sent a strange feeling through him, he liked it, so he decided to play up to it. He bounced Judith up and down playfully and turned so the arm holding her was in Rick's eye line. Daryl's mind replayed the list of things Rick had said he couldn't do, he didn't say he couldn't hold Judith, just his crossbow. 

He had noticed Rick looking at him before. Rick had always looked away before he could be sure, but now he knew. He could see Rick's jaw drop as he realised what Daryl was doing. He carried on the display as long as he dared, then gave a happy gurgling Judith back to Beth and went to get his breakfast. 

He was happy to see that breakfast was porridge. He liked porridge, it filled him up and it was nice and simple. Today they had some dried fruit to put in it, he didn't have any. He thanked Carol and gave her a genuine smile, which was returned. She winked at him as he walked away to join Rick, Carol always had a way of knowing things. He would talk to her later. 

He put his bowl down and sat in his usual seat next to Rick. He purposely didn't make eye contact as he sat down, even though he could practically feel Rick's eyes burning into him. He moved close enough so that their thighs pressed together and their shoulders brushed at the slightest movement, nothing unusual though because they always sat this close. 

''Good ta have ya back, Daryl,'' Maggie said as she tilted her head in question at Rick's blatant staring.

''Rick, your foods in your bowl... not sittin' next ta you,'' Glenn said much to Maggie's amusement. 

Rick swung his head around and glared at Glenn who quickly spooned more porridge into his mouth and looked away. Maggie chuckled and ducked her head as she finished her breakfast. 

Daryl quite enjoyed having this effect on Rick. It made him feel like he was in control and he liked knowing Rick wanted him. He enjoyed the power he felt and it amazed him that someone could find him attractive. His stomach began to rumble which brought him back to reality. He was beyond hungry so he tucked in.

As he shovelled in his porridge he felt Rick staring again. He made a point of licking the spoon as seductively as he could manage. He wasn't entirely sure what seductive was though so he risked a sideways glance to check if it was working and saw that Rick had closed his eyes and took a breath. He guessed Rick liked him eating too. Was there anything Rick didn't like? 

''Glenn, we're finished,'' Maggie said as she batted at Glenn's arm and grabbed her bowl.

Daryl looked up at Maggie and Glenn as they got up from the table and felt his face flush. He had said to Rick that he didn't want to tell people but here he was making it pretty obvious.

''Sorry, Mags,'' he said before he could stop himself.

''Don't be silly, just givin' ya some privacy. Seems like ya need it judgin' by the way Rick can't keep his eyes off ya,'' Maggie winked at him and left with Glenn close behind.

That's the second person to wink at him in the space of a few minutes and he couldn't remember a time anyone had winked at him before, ever.

''Was I that obvious?'' Rick looked worried, aware Daryl wasn't ready for people to know.

Daryl just huffed out a laugh and carried on eating. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if people knew. He thought the reaction would be very different, but Maggie and Glenn just seemed amused maybe even encouraging.

Rick looked relieved at Daryl's reaction.

''This is harder than I thought it would be. You gotta stop eatin', man, or I might do something I regret,'' Rick sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face.

''Thought you said I needed ta eat after half starvin' fer two days...'' Daryl spooned in another mouthful and twirled his tongue around the spoon a little, trying to hide his smile.

''You’re doin’ that on purpose and yer enjoyin' it.'' 

Rick sounded torn between respecting Daryl's wishes to keep whatever they had to themselves and just standing up and dragging Daryl out of the canteen like some crazy caveman.

''Sorry, man,'' Daryl didn't know what had gotten into him, ''I ain't never had nothin' like this before and I kinda like how ya been lookin' at me.''

Rick leaned over and whispered close to Daryl's ear, ''Oh yeah? Well you carry on and I'm worried I won't be able to stop maself from draggin’ you off somewhere an' havin' ma way with you.''

It sent a shiver down Daryl's spine which made him drop his spoon, sending a loud clattering sound around the room. The few people that were left stared over briefly which made Daryl flush again.

''Oh, I'm sorry,'' Rick continued into Daryl's ear, ''Am I distractin’ you?''

''Rick...'' 

Daryl felt a thrill run through him at the thought of Rick dragging him off somewhere. He just needed to get past that panic feeling that rose up whenever it started to feel good. He couldn't keep getting Rick all worked up and excited then backing down. Next time he will do it, go all the way, for Rick.

''Finish yer food and meet me in the shower room,'' Rick said as he stood to leave the table, ''Don't keep me waitin'.''

Daryl noticed the unmissable bulge in the front of Rick's trousers as he got up. It sent a spark of desire right to his groin. He shifted in his seat a little and ate quickly as he watched and admired Rick's arse as he left. 

''I can do this,'' Daryl whispered to himself as he got up to sort his empty bowl out.


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl practically ran out of the canteen area, he moved as fast as he could without drawing too much unwanted attention. All he could think about was getting to the shower room like Rick had told him to. His mind was so preoccupied with what was to come that he bumped straight into Carl. 

''Hey, where's the fire? Jeez.'' Carl huffed. 

Daryl had noticed that Carl was developing an attitude lately, even teenagers in the apocalypse go through that stage it seemed. Daryl found himself too flustered to come up with a decent response. 

''Yeah well, least I'm not late fer breakfast. Carol won't be happy.''

They both just stood there and glared at each other, neither one willing to back down. Daryl felt ridiculous bickering and having a damn staring competition with a teenager. His heart was racing at the thought of being caught and then more so at the thought of keeping Rick waiting. 

It felt like it was written all over his face and that Carl could see right through him to all of his thoughts. What would Carl think if he was to find out that he was off to meet his Dad in the shower room to do things that didn't involve getting clean? 

Daryl groaned, ''Just go get breakfast kid, ya know ya Dad'll want ya workin' on that farm o' his later. Need yer strength.''

''I ain't a kid!'' Carl practically shouted at Daryl and then barged past him in a strop in the direction of the canteen.

Daryl just stood there for a moment, closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He couldn't help it, he started questioning what he was doing. He really wanted to give Rick what he needed, Hell he had been fantasizing about this actually happening since he first laid eyes on the sheriff in his neat little uniform and hat. Who knew, he liked a guy in uniform. 

But there was another part of him that wondered what the cost would be. How would Carl react? He just couldn't take the rejection from him or anyone else in the group. He never wanted to go through that again. Daryl contemplated turning back and facing the consequences of defying Rick later. 

''Dammit, stop thinkin','' Daryl whispered harshly to himself. 

He forced his legs to move in the direction of the shower rooms, knowing he had kept Rick waiting already. His pace slowed as he drew nearer to his destination. Negative thoughts still flung themselves around in his mind, he hated that this always happened. He was actually feeling happy for the first time in a long while and it was all because of Rick. With that in mind he tried to push away the last of those thoughts. 

Daryl reached the shower room and drew his hand up and rested it flat against the door. He could do this. He had been the one flirting, he had actually flirted, with Rick at breakfast. It had obviously got Rick all worked up and he was pretty worked up too. Not just from breakfast but since getting back with all the touching and kissing. They both needed this.

He would do whatever Rick wanted him to do, it was the least he could do, right? With that in mind Daryl squared his shoulders and pushed the door open. New apocalyptic world Daryl was strong and in control, he could do this.

''Took ya damn time.''

Daryl's thoughts were thrown from his mind as Rick slammed him against the barely closed door. 

''Thought I said don't keep me waitin','' Rick practically growled.

Daryl said nothing as he found himself pressed between the hard door and Rick's lean, muscular body. His heart was pounding again and all he could do was stare into Rick's piercing blue eyes. Rick's face was an inch from his and he had that crazy look in his eyes. He liked that he had been the one to get Rick like this, the one who made him crazy. He, Daryl redneck Dixon, had made Rick lose his mind.

''You knew exactly what you were doin' in there,'' Rick's voice was gravelly and sounded strained. 

Daryl nodded slowly and felt his cock stir at the tone of Rick's voice. He loved the way Rick sounded, he could listen to him for hours, which worked out well for him because Rick liked to talk and Daryl liked to listen. 

Rick brought his hands up and placed them either side of Daryl's head. He slowly began to lean forward closing the small gap between them, then very gently he pressed his lips to Daryl's. Daryl melted into him and tried to deepen the kiss. Rick instantly pulled back, leaving just an inch between them again. 

Daryl made a noise in his throat that he would rather not admit to, which sounded a lot like a whimper. 

''No ya don't,'' Rick shook his head, ''you will take what I give you and nothin' more.''

''Rick...'' Daryl breathed out.

''Do you understand?'' Rick said as he moved even closer and pressed his hardening cock against Daryl's now uncomfortably hard erection.

Daryl briefly closed his eyes at the contact then nodded. He kept his hands at his sides and brought his eyes back level with Rick's. He had to fight to keep himself still and not move his hips, which desperately wanted to seek more friction. He focused instead on Rick's eyes, he needed to be reassured that Rick wouldn't hurt him and a person's eyes could always reveal so much about them.

Rick could feel Daryl tense beneath him and he knew he was scaring him, a part of him was liking it. He reminded himself though that that's not what he wanted, but he just couldn't seem to stop himself. Daryl had pressed his buttons and driven him mad with his flirting and teasing. The worst thing was that the man seemed completely oblivious to the effect he had on Rick. 

''Good,'' Rick continued, ''so this is what I want you ta do, all I want you ta do...'' Rick paused waiting for Daryl to acknowledge what he was saying.

All Daryl could do was nod again, he felt enthralled and frozen to the spot, wondering what Rick would want. 

''I need you ta think of a word, it can be any word at all, anythang.''

A shiver ran through Daryl's body at the sound of Rick's southern drawl.

''A word?'' Daryl managed to get out, sounding as confused as he looked.

It was the last thing he had expected to come out of Rick's mouth. He had been asked to do many things before when he had a hard cock pressed against him, but this, this was strange. 

''Daryl,'' Rick leaned impossibly closer and whispered slowly, mere millimetres from Daryl's lips, ''pick a word.''

Daryl could barely breathe as he felt Rick's warm breath against his lips as he spoke. 

Rick moved one of his hands from the wall beside Daryl's head and started to run his fingers through Daryl's hair. He was fast realising he liked playing with Daryl's hair, it felt surprisingly soft. He felt the sudden urge to bury his nose in the strands falling around his neck, but stopped himself. He had a plan and needed to follow it through if it was going to work. No distractions, he had plenty of time for that later, he hoped.

Daryl enjoyed the proximity and the fingers stroking his hair, but it was making it very difficult to think. He didn't get what words had to do with anything, but it was what Rick wanted so he tried real hard.

''Erm...'' Daryl's voice didn't sound like his own so he tried clearing his throat before saying, ''Sheriff.''

''Good,'' Rick sounded pleased, he closed the small gap and placed a chaste kiss on Daryl's lips. 

''Now...'' Rick began and as he spoke he tightened his grip in Daryl's hair until it was almost painful.

Daryl groaned at the new sensation and found he quite liked it, a mixture of pain and pleasure, it reminded him of when they were back in the cell. Then Rick pulled harder which made Daryl's eyes water and widen in shock. He continued to hold Daryl's hair in that painful grasp.

''...say the word.''

''Sheriff,'' Daryl said at Rick's command.

Rick instantly loosened his grip on Daryl's hair, rubbing his fingers soothingly at his scalp, and gave him another quick kiss.

''Good. You say that word an' I'll stop,'' Rick lowered his head and made sure Daryl could see his eyes, ''ya hear me, I'll stop, no matter what.''

Daryl got it now, he understood what Rick was doing and it made him feel happy, so happy that he felt like he was floating. Rick was giving him the control, he would never do anything Daryl didn't want him to do. He trusted Rick and knew he would stop if he said the word. He had stopped all the other times when Daryl had said he couldn't do it. This excited him, he could do this. 

''I trust you,'' Daryl said and he truly meant it, he would trust Rick with his life.

Rick moved then, crashing their mouths together. He brought both hands up to grip Daryl's hair, holding him still so he could explore Daryl's mouth. Their tongues tangled and danced together until Rick needed to pause for air. He kissed along Daryl's rough jaw and down his neck. He nipped and kissed, exploring Daryl how he had wanted to so many times before, but this was so much better than he had imagined. 

Daryl let his head fall back, giving Rick better access. He had never felt this good before and all Rick was doing was kissing him. He had to touch him so he reached his hands out and placed one around the back of Rick's neck drawing him closer, his fingers playing with the curls there, and the other he used to pull Rick's hips to him. Their erections collided which created the most amazing feeling. Daryl started moving his hips, which had Rick moaning into his neck. 

''Jeez, Daryl,'' Rick said against Daryl's neck, he sounded wrecked already and Daryl loved it.

Rick brought their mouths back together for another heart stopping kiss. His hips began to move in time with Daryl's causing them both to moan into each other’s mouths. Rick could get off just like this but it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted this to be about making Daryl feel good and he hoped he knew how to do that.

Rick pulled back and took a step away.

''Rick?'' Daryl sounded breathless and sexy as hell saying Rick's name like that.

Rick was very tempted to make him say it again, but he had other ideas. He started to feel a little nervous now that he was actually going to do it though. He had been given head before but he had never done anything like this himself. He figured he would go with what he thought he would like.

''Daryl, I never done this before...''

Daryl was about to speak when he realised what Rick was going to do, it made his heart pound in his chest. He was getting to his knees in front of him. 

''Rick, ya don't hafta...'' Daryl started to say as he reached out to get Rick back to his feet.

''Shhh, let me,'' Rick said as he batted Daryl's hands away.

Rick shuffled forwards on his knees and reached out to undo Daryl's trousers. He could feel the heat from Daryl's hard cock straining against the material as he slid the zipper down. He heard Daryl groan as his cock sprang free. Rick gripped the shaft at the base and stared up at Daryl briefly, just to check this was okay, before dipping his head and flicking his tongue out to taste the drop of liquid that had beaded there. 

''You taste good,'' Rick said then all at once took as much of Daryl as he could into his mouth.

''Oh fuck!'' Daryl said as all of his breath rushed out of him.

Rick ran his tongue along the underside of Daryl's cock then started to slowly withdraw him from his mouth. It felt strange at first having a cock in his mouth, but he liked it. Daryl felt good. With just the head in the heat of his mouth he looked up at Daryl and started to swirl his tongue and lick at the slit of his cock. He could see Daryl trying hard to maintain eye contact. 

Daryl felt his legs begin to shake so he moved his hands into Rick's hair to steady himself. 

Rick let Daryl drop from his mouth, ''Hands against the door,'' his voice was more gravelly than usual.

Daryl groaned at the loss of contact and the sound of Rick's velvety voice, but did as he was told. He placed his palms flat against the door either side of him. 

''Good.''

Rick tightened his grip at the base of Daryl's cock and slowly slid it back into his mouth. He started to experiment with how much he could take in without gagging. He thought he must be doing a good job so far because Daryl was making all sorts of noises above him, noises he wanted to hear more of. 

Daryl was struggling to keep his hands on the door, he started digging his nails in. The things Rick was doing with his mouth and that tongue were driving him crazy. He could barely think straight and he could feel his orgasm building, he wouldn't last much longer at this rate.

Rick felt Daryl's cock swell and twitch in his mouth. He slowed the pace and ran his tongue around the head some more. He wanted to make this last as long as he could. His own cock was leaking and straining uncomfortably in his trousers so with his free hand he undid his zip and pulled himself free. He started stroking himself slowly and began to follow the same rhythm as his mouth. 

Daryl scrunched his eyes shut and rested his head back against the door. His shaking legs almost gave out as his orgasm neared. His heart was pounding, but he remembered the word and knew if he said it Rick would stop, but like Hell he wanted Rick to stop!

''Rick, please...''

Rick picked up the pace. He felt his own climax nearing, but he wanted Daryl to come first so he could feel every bit of it. He moaned at the sensations and feel of Daryl's cock sliding in and out of his mouth.

''Ah, shit!''

Rick moaning sent vibrations through Daryl's cock and it was just too much, he couldn't hold back any longer. He dug his nails further into the door and released into Rick's mouth, his hips thrusting and stuttering. His orgasm lasted longer than he thought possible, Rick was drawing every last drop from him.

Rick felt warm liquid hit the back of his throat and that was it, he came into his own hand. Daryl tasted so good he wanted it all. He ran his tongue over Daryl's sensitive cock as it began to soften and felt him twitch again. Daryl began to slump down the wall as Rick licked the last few drops from his cock before letting it slide from his mouth. 

''You really do taste good.''

Rick put a knee either side of Daryl and sat gently on his lap. He lowered his head to meet Daryl's lips, he wanted to share the taste.

Daryl didn't get what the fuss was about, he tasted like come always tasted, but Rick seemed to like it so he leaned into the kiss. He was still trying to steady his breathing as he came down from his orgasm. As his thoughts cleared he realised he hadn't got Rick off and it sent a small jolt of panic through him. He reached between them aiming for Rick's cock.

Rick batted Daryl's hand away as he pulled back from the kiss. He reached down and tucked himself back in his trousers. 

''This was about you. We have plenty o' time for other stuff. 'Sides, I came when you did,'' Rick looked embarrassed.

''Rick man, no one's ever... I ain't used ta this.''

''Well, get used to it,'' Rick smiled and gave Daryl a quick kiss just because he couldn't help himself. 

He got up and pulled Daryl up with him. As Daryl sorted himself out Rick took the opportunity to fully appreciate the man. His man, he tested out the idea in his mind. Daryl's impressive arms flexed and moved as he worked his zipper and his hair fell around his face as he looked down. He really was a beautiful man, not that he would ever tell Daryl that. 

He was suddenly hit with the realisation that this was really happening, had happened, and he hoped it would continue to happen. He wanted to pull Daryl into a hug and hold him, but he didn't think that would go down well and he wasn't sure he would be able to let him go again.

''People will start ta wonder where we are,'' Rick said instead, ''we should get back.''

Daryl nodded but that horrible, annoying part of his brain flared up again. Rick wanted rid of him, he would realise he was worth nothing soon enough. He closed his eyes and remembered the word Rick had asked him to think of. He hadn't forced him to do anything and had given him the best orgasm of his life. So why was he feeling like this? He started to get frustrated with himself.

Rick saw the change in Daryl's demeanour and realised then that this would be a long process. He wanted Daryl to see what he saw and know that he would always want him and would never hurt him. It went beyond the physical. He would give his life for Daryl and he would keep trying until Daryl got that.

''Hey, look at me,'' Rick ducked his head to meet Daryl's gaze, he found himself doing that quite often, ''come ta my cell once yer finished on watch. Don't care what time it is, you come ta me.''

Daryl felt the command in Rick's voice right to his toes and it instantly quieted his mind. He loved it when Rick sounded like that. He met Rick's gaze and nodded. His stomach got butterflies at the thought of spending the night with Rick again. He focused on that feeling.

Rick reached out and pushed at Daryl's shoulders playfully.

''Now come on, before I decide that takin' a shower together is a better idea than workin'.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope all you lovely people are liking my little fic so far. Thank you everyone for the amazing comments and kudos, it makes me very happy. 
> 
> It may be a few days before the next update, just waiting for my Beta then I'll upload more :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: implied sexual abuse

Daryl stood, knife in hand, staring at his catch. It wasn't the biggest deer he'd caught but it would feed them good enough. He knelt down and began making an incision in the elbow joint, he needed to remove the hooves first. Once the knife had done its work he took the hoof firmly in his hand and twisted until he heard a snap and pulled it off. He always found that bit quite satisfying. 

Now the delicate process of removing the skin, he grabbed the deer up and hung it from the makeshift hook he had set up out the back of the kitchen. This part took some skill as he had to be firm enough to cut and pull the skin free, but he didn't want to nick the muscle. The whole thing could be contaminated if that happened. 

His hands worked deftly as he felt his mind start to drift. He knew where his thoughts could take him so he tried to focus on his task. Daryl continued his work meticulously until he had a carcass ready to clean and hang for aging. He found the perfect little outbuilding that he liked to use, it had thick brick walls and was the perfect temperature, nice and cool inside and the best he could do.

Daryl had completed this task numerous times and he went about it on autopilot. He was hoping it would consume his attention so he wouldn't think. It was never good when his brain had time to think. Rick had just made him feel so good. No one had ever wanted to do anything like that for him before and want nothing in return. In that moment he had felt special. But now, the darkness was coming back.

He tried to keep his mind on the task at hand but stray thoughts made their way in. Sometimes they sounded like his dad and sometimes it was a voice he really would rather forget. His dad would tell him what a disappointment he was, how disgusting and worthless he was. Eventually he started to agree. He was a disappointment, any father would feel the same having someone like Daryl for a son.

But the other voice, that slimy and wormy voice, had his skin crawling. It's the voice that set that panic feeling off in him whenever he felt good, whenever he tried to have any kind of relationship with a guy. So he had stuck with girls, they seemed safe and the panic didn't happen. He was so broken. Why would anyone want anything to do with him? 

It had taken so long to feel like he was worth something in the group. He could hunt and people needed food so he felt useful, but it took him longer to understand why Carol or Beth or Carl wanted to talk to him or spend time with him. To be honest he still struggled to understand it completely. 

Then there was Rick who he had followed and would trust with his life. Rick needed him and he liked that. After Shane, Daryl became Rick's right hand man and although he wasn't sure why Rick looked to him for support, he stepped up and wanted to be there for Rick. Now though, things had changed, Rick wanted more than his support. 

Maybe it was another mental breakdown and Rick would change his mind when he started thinking straight again. Yeah, that must be it. Rick would see soon enough that Daryl was worthless and leave him. Maybe he should end it now to save the inevitable heartache. Yeah, he will go to Rick tonight after his watch and tell him. It would be better that way.

-

''Dad,'' Carl called over to his father for the second time, ''Dad! Jeez wha's up with you?''

''Huh? You say somethin'?'' Rick said as he was pulled from his thoughts.

He looked down and realised he had been digging the same hole for a while now and it was deep enough to bury a person in. He just couldn't stop thinking about seeing Daryl later that night or about the way Daryl's cock had felt getting harder in his mouth. He huffed out a sigh and started filling the hole again. He was planting beans not digging graves.

''Dad, you been spaced out all afternoon. You okay?'' Carl said showing genuine concern.

Rick got it, he knew how worried Carl had been when he lost his shit over Lori. No one, especially Carl, wanted to ever see him like that again. 

''I'm fine, Carl. Just got stuff on ma mind is all, grown-up stuff. Nothin' for you ta worry about.''

Rick just wanted to get through the rest of the day and then get to his cell. It felt like he had so much time to make up for. He had been in his own head for so long he hadn't seen what was staring him right in the face. Now he had Daryl he wanted to make the most of it and that meant making Daryl feel comfortable with him. He knew he had his trust and that was the first step.

He hoped he hadn't gone too far with the safe word, but it seemed to have worked and he quite enjoyed taking control and telling Daryl what to do. Daryl always came across as the strong silent type but he was coming to realise how insecure he really was. He didn't want Daryl to feel insecure with him though.

''...Dad, are you even listenin'?''

''Huh? Sure...'' Rick started to say until he saw the look on Carl's face, ''...erm, sorry son. What did you say?''

''It's like talkin' to a brick wall!''

Rick raised his arms slightly and brought them down sticking the shovel into the ground. He leaned on it, giving Carl his undivided attention and waited for him to continue. 

''I was sayin', have you noticed how weird Daryl has been actin' since he got back from that bodged run you guys went on?''

Rick just stared at him for a while, probably longer than was comfortable. His mind momentarily ran into overdrive at the possibilities of this conversation. What would he tell his son? How would he handle something like this so soon after Lori? What would he think about having Daryl as a dad? He told himself to be calm.

''Weird how?''

''Well, like this mornin' he was rushin' through the corridor like he had someplace better to be. He almost ran right inta me. Then he told me off fer being late to breakfast. Called me kid too, he knows I hate that.''

''Oh was he now...'' Rick smiled to himself at the thought of a flustered Daryl rushing to meet him.

So it was bumping into Carl, quite literally by the sounds of it, that had made Daryl keep Rick waiting. Rick didn't even hear the rest of the sentence after that part. A flustered Daryl trying to hide the real reason he was rushing about is something Rick would have loved to have been witness to. 

His eyes would have darted about, he would have tried to hide behind his hair and probably would have brought his thumb up to his mouth to gnaw at it. Daryl always had something in his mouth: a thumb, a fingernail, or a bolt. Now he was thinking about what else he would like to put in that mouth. Rick felt a stirring in his trousers and abruptly cut those thoughts short. 

''Come ta think of it you're bein' pretty weird too. What's with the smile?''

''You know, just imagining yer response to him callin' ya kid.''

Carl eyed him suspiciously. 

''Hey, I'm sure he's got his reasons,'' Rick continued when Carl just stared at him, ''Enough chat, let's finish this row off an' then we can go wash up ready for dinner.''

''Yeah sure dad, whatever, this conversation is goin' nowhere anyway,'' Carl sighed and got back to work.

Rick stared for a while at his son who was growing up too fast for his liking. The farm was the best place for him, no more guns. Carl had been bugging him for a while now about letting him go on a run, but he just couldn't risk it. He couldn't lose Carl too. 

Then his mind started wondering again. His thoughts turned to what Daryl would be like as a father. He practically already was a dad to his kids. He started picturing white picket fences and family BBQs, grilling something Daryl and Carl had hunted. Another smile broke out on his face and he turned trying to hide it from Carl as he got back to work. 

-

Daryl had the hose in his hand ready to clean the prepared carcass. His mind was still swirling with what ifs. He turned the water on and began to work at cleaning the inside and outside of the deer to get rid of any stray hairs left behind. 

''Hey, what's goin' on out here?'' Carol said, concerned.

Carol had been in the kitchen preparing for dinner when she heard muttering and commotion from outside. She knew instantly who it was and hated hearing Daryl like that, he always seemed so down on himself and it broke her heart. 

''Wha's it look like?'' Daryl shot Carol a look that he instantly regretted. 

Carol just stood her ground, folded her arms and waited. She knew Daryl and knew he would tell her what was bothering him eventually. He always got angry and tried to push her away first. Daryl stubbornly carried on hosing down the deer. 

Carol watched and waited then tried again.

''What's got ya all hot and bothered, pookey?''

''Nothin'.''

''That deer would argue otherwise, if it could.''

Damn Carol and her endearments, no one had ever given him a nickname like that before, generally they had been nasty ones. Also, damn her for being right all the time. Daryl knew he had been taking his frustrations out on the deer. He had felt fine one minute then angry and frustrated the next.

''Come on you, I ain't leavin' 'til you spill.''

Daryl shut down the hose and lowered his head, his hair falling around his face. He peered up through the messy strands and brought his thumb to his mouth, he started chewing nervously as he began to speak.

''It's Rick...''

''What's he done? If he's hurt you...'' Carol was ready to go and smack Rick round the head if he had done anything to hurt Daryl.

''Na, ain't nothin' like that,'' Daryl interrupted with raised hands, ''It just ain't right... it's all wrong... I'm all wrong.''

''Well, they sure as Hell ain't your words.''

''I just said ‘em didn't I?''

''You may have said ‘em honey, but they ain't your words. Sounds like somethin’ yer Daddy or Merle would've said.''

''Na, Merle ain't... weren't like that.''

''We talkin' about the same Merle?'' 

Daryl shot Carol a look, ready to defend Merle, and saw her smirking. 

''When everyone found out I liked guys he was the only one who seemed okay with it. He tried ta protect me from Pa, took some nasty beatings fa me. He always tried ta stop Pa from hurtin' me and Ma,'' Daryl scrubbed a hand down his face.

Daryl started making his way over to a picnic bench nearby and motioned for Carol to join him with a head movement in that direction. He needed to get this off his chest and he knew Carol would listen and try to help him. She always seemed to say the right things. Carol sat down opposite him and waited for Daryl to continue. 

''I'm pretty sure Pa hated me anyway, used ta be a scrawny kid. Then turnin' out ta be a faggot just tipped him over the edge. Fuckin' hate that word. Merle would tell me I could love whoever I liked... just keep it away from him, an' I get that. No one wanted ta be around me much after that.''

''Ain't nothin' wrong with lovin' who you love, honey.''

Daryl nodded and carried on, ''Merle couldn't take it no more. He up and left when he was seventeen, wasn't long after everyone found out.''

Daryl looked up at Carol briefly before continuing, ''He never knew how bad I got it. He saw my scars in the trees just after we left the group, he freaked. S'what people usually do when they see.''

''Oh pookey.'' Carol said as she reached a hand out and placed it over his briefly, she knew he didn't like physical contact so didn't let her hand linger for too long.

Daryl tried his best not to flinch at the contact, he knew Carol only meant to comfort him. He really was broken when he felt like running a mile if someone so much as went to touch him. He was getting better though. When he started unconsciously seeking out Rick, a brush of their shoulders or a palm on his stomach, he realised that touching could feel good. 

To think, he almost left Rick for Merle. He believed in that saying 'blood is thicker than water', but he wasn't so sure now. His new family seemed to care about him a lot more than his blood family ever did. But Merle had left him and he was sure Rick would too.

''So what's this got ta do with Rick?''

''Rick ain't gonna want me when he realises...'' Daryl began but didn't know how to carry on.

''Realises what?''

''When Merle left... when he left... things got worse. There was this... there was a... Rick... God Rick... he ain't gonna wait forever.''

''Pookey, I'm tryin' ta follow but I'm gettin' confused. What's Merle leavin' got ta do with Rick not waitin'... waitin' fa what?''

Daryl took a deep breath, he hadn't ever spoken about this to anyone and he was struggling to get his thoughts and words in order. How was he supposed to talk about this without it all flooding back? His heart was starting to race and he felt like the feeling of panic was going to consume him. 

''Rick and I, since that run for Judith, we... well I don't know what ya wanna call it,'' Daryl looked at Carol, hoping she understood.

''I gathered somethin' was goin' on with you two.'' 

''Yeah...I just can't... you know, Rick wants to but I keep sayin' I can't.''

The penny dropped and Carol understood, ''Hey, it’s okay. I'm sure Rick will understand. It's clear to see he cares a lot for you.''

''But I'm broken and wrong.''

''Honey, ya keep sayin' that and I just don't believe it. Yer Pa really did a number on you,'' Carol said with a sad sigh.

Daryl shook his head and looked at the table as he spoke, ''Ma Pa ain't the reason... he never... when Merle left... he had this friend. We all used ta hang out sometimes... I thought he was lookin' out fer me.'' 

Daryl's shoulders slumped and he looked so small sitting with his head ducked down. He was trying desperately hard not to cry, he wasn't sure he would stop if he started. So instead he brought his thumb back to his mouth and started biting at the skin and nail there. The pain helped steady him and he felt a strange satisfaction when he got the metallic taste of blood on his tongue.

Carol, on the other hand, felt a sudden rage burn deep within her. She understood where Daryl was going with this and it was Rick he needed to be telling it to. She knew Daryl must have been through something awful when she saw those scars on his back, but that, she had never imagined that. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to stay strong for Daryl. 

''Oh honey, you should tell Rick. He would understand, he loves you.''

''He what?'' Daryl couldn't hide his shock at Carol's flippant words. 

''He may not have known it, but he has loved you for a long time, it's plain to see. If he hasn't already, he will realise it soon enough.''

''Na man, he... na,'' Daryl just couldn't process that right now so instead he asked, ''How do I tell him somethin' like this? How much will he want ta know? I don't even know if I can do it.''

''You will know how much ta say and you will find the right moment. Remember, you are Daryl Dixon. Our Daryl Dixon, you ain't who you used ta be.''

Carol stood up to head back to the kitchen, but before she left she placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder.

''Be open and honest from the start if ya want this thing with Rick to be the real deal. You seemed genuinely happy at breakfast and you deserve that.''

Carol gave Daryl's shoulder a squeeze then left, not getting any response from Daryl and not expecting one. He just sat there and stared after her for a while. His head was now filled with other thoughts. He still wanted to go to Rick tonight, but maybe it wasn't to end things now, maybe it was to tell him everything so they could make a start at whatever this was between them. 

Daryl stood and stretched, he wasn't entirely sure how long he had sat there and just stared but he ached. He felt his muscles tug and pull and his neck cracked as he moved his head to one side. He still needed to finish up with the deer, hang it for aging. It would take at least a week to age properly, but it was always worth it.

It would be his turn to take watch soon too. He still had time to clean up and grab some food before heading to the tower though. He felt sad that he wouldn't get to eat with Rick at dinner, but he took comfort in the fact that he would get see him later that night. Carol was right, he needed to tell Rick everything and being on watch will give him some time and space to think about how he would approach it.


	8. Chapter 8

Rick stupidly thought he could get some sleep before Daryl's shift ended. Instead he just laid there on his bunk staring into space, his mind going over the turn of events recently, it was all he could think about lately. Just a few days ago Daryl was a secret fantasy of his and now there was the possibility of something more, something real. 

Whenever Rick was around Daryl he couldn't seem to control his desires since that kiss in the store. That just wasn't enough for Rick though, he wanted all of Daryl and he knew there was more Daryl hadn't told him. It also felt like one wrong move and Daryl would bolt like one of the deer he hunts. 

He found it quite exciting though trying to tame Daryl Dixon. He knew he had to tread carefully and take things as slowly as Daryl needed. He quickly realised he would do almost anything to be with this man, to be the reason Daryl laughed or moaned or smiled, to be the one he chose to be with. 

Rick must have been deep in thought for some time because he was pulled from his mind when he heard shuffling outside his cell, which sounded a lot like Daryl. A thrill shot through him that Daryl had come, a small part of him had been worried that he wouldn't. He focused on the movement just the other side of his privacy sheet and tried to imagine what was going through Daryl's mind and why he hadn't come in yet.

Rick had hoped they could continue with how things had been going in the shower room, but Rick knew they would need to talk too. What was it they were doing? He wanted it all but what did Daryl want? He needed to figure out how to tell Carl too, but right now he just wanted to enjoy Daryl and learn all these new things about him.

Daryl paced back and forth just outside Rick's cell. The thought of telling Rick everything had him shaking and feeling queasy. He had felt so sure after speaking with Carol and now he was having second thoughts. It would be so much simpler to just end this now. Rick would probably be grateful for the out, but a horrible feeling ran through him at the thought.

He took a deep steadying breath and stilled his feet. He repeated the word Rick made him think of a few times in his head, which seemed to calm him. Daryl could do this for Rick, tell him everything, then he could decide if he still wanted Daryl or not. He coughed to make Rick aware he was there then pulled the sheet back.

''Alright ta come in?''

Rick sat up and patted the space next to him on the bed, but Daryl shook his head and pulled a makeshift stool to him and sat on it. Rick frowned but didn't argue, he would give Daryl his space. He obviously had something on his mind.

''Rick, I been doin' a lot o' thinkin','' Daryl scrubbed a hand down his face and glanced up at Rick.

''Me too, 's been hard not to.''

''Yeah, had so much goin' on in ma head, even planned on comin' here tonight ta put an end ta this.''

''...you...what?!'' 

That was the last thing Rick expected or wanted to hear. He knew Daryl was having a tough time and seemed real insecure but this was just too much for him to handle. His heart clenched then started to pound out a nervous rhythm and he instantly felt sick. 

''Daryl, I can't do this... I can't, not without you,'' Rick said as he stood up and started pacing.

He didn't like the direction his thoughts were going. He felt that strange madness trying to take hold again. He couldn't go back to hearing voices and hallucinating, he wasn't sure how he would come back from it this time. 

His sanity felt like it was hanging on by a thread, but he was able to cope now and he was only just coming to realise how much of that was because of Daryl, without him he would be right back to the crazy.

He thought he even started muttering to himself as he paced but he couldn't be sure. How had he come to rely so much on Daryl? Now he had the possibility of more too he just couldn't cope with that being taken away. God he needed Daryl with every fibre of his being. How could he show him that without scaring him away? 

''Rick,'' Daryl stood and put a hand on the man's shoulder to still him, ''I ain't gonna back outta this now. Can't. Just meant I thought about it.''

''Well don't, don't even think about somethin' like that!'' Rick said more firmly than he intended. 

He brought a hand to his chest because it felt like his heart actually hurt. He took a few deep breathes but he couldn't seem to get himself back under control.

''Shit, Rick...'' 

Daryl tightened his grip on Rick's shoulder and turned him so they were facing each other, then brought his other hand up to Rick's face. He hadn't expected to be the one comforting Rick tonight. This wasn't how he thought this would go at all. He locked eyes with Rick's red rimmed ones and brought their foreheads together. 

Daryl wasn't good with words so he just held Rick like that until he felt his breathing start to return to normal. He stroked a thumb gently across Rick's stubbly cheek and continued to hold his gaze, his eyes could convey more than his words ever would. 

Rick could feel his heart slow to a more natural rhythm and his breathing started to match Daryl's. Having Daryl that close seemed to help steady him. He was being so gentle and caring, a side he had only seen Daryl show with Judith, Rick felt himself melt a little into Daryl's touch.

Rick briefly closed his stinging eyes then in a gravelly voice said, ''I need you, Daryl.''

Rick's words sent a shiver through Daryl. He loved the way his name sounded when Rick said it. It was like he really mattered to him. Perhaps Carol was right, maybe Rick did love him. 

Daryl had been thinking so hard about how broken he was, but Rick was pretty broken too. Only difference being that Rick had had a good life before this, whereas Daryl's past had been horrible. In this new world though he was surviving if not thriving, but Rick wasn't so lucky. 

Daryl wanted more than anything to be able to comfort Rick, he just didn't have any idea how to do that without sex being involved and he didn't want that. Sex had never really meant anything to him before, just something to be taken or given, but he wanted sex with Rick to mean something. 

''Lay with me?'' Daryl whispered, forehead still against Rick's.

''Daryl...''

''Just layin', I want ta feel yer skin on my skin,'' Daryl said and ducked his head. 

He knew he was sending mixed signals, but he didn't feel ready for anything more yet. He just wanted to feel Rick against him, his warm skin pressed close, to feel something real and solid. Daryl stepped back and waited for Rick's decision.

''Nothin' else,'' Rick agreed.

Rick kept eye contact with Daryl only breaking it briefly as he pulled his T-shirt over his head, ruffling his curls as he did so. He was slowly able to relax again as he realised Daryl was staying. He threw the dirty top to the floor and started to slip out of his boots. He straightened up and as he brought his hands to the button on his trousers he looked up at Daryl to see if this was okay.

Daryl didn't say anything, instead he started to unbutton his shirt, he spoke with his eyes as they had done countless times before on runs. He left the shirt hanging open then began sliding out of his boots as Rick had done. He didn't hesitate when he reached for his button and zipper though, undoing them while maintaining eye contact.

As Daryl slowly revealed the little curls of hair just below the waistline of his trousers, Rick could see he wasn't wearing any underwear. It made him wonder how often Daryl went commando. He hadn't been wearing any in the shower room either, the thought had him suppressing a moan. 

He undid his own trousers then and pulled them down taking his underwear with them in one motion. He stepped out of them and removed his socks too so he stood completely naked for the first time for Daryl to see. His hands went to his hips as he waited for Daryl's next move. 

Daryl paused at his half undone trousers to let his eyes roam over Rick's lean body. Since being at the prison he wasn't looking as skinny as he had done. They had plenty of food now and that combined with working the farm had given Rick some defined muscles. His arms looked strong and his abs well defined, all tight and lean. 

Daryl's eyes continued to roam until his gaze followed the trail of dark hair leading down from Rick's belly button to settle on his semi erect cock. Instantly his eyes flew up to meet Rick's again.

Rick saw a mixture of worry, embarrassment and excitement in Daryl's eyes. 

''Hey, just layin' right? Can't help if watchin' you undress turns me on,'' Rick tried for a smile and took a small step forward, but stopped just in front of Daryl, ''You go without underwear often?''

Daryl nodded, ''ain't never seen the point in this heat.''

Daryl heard Rick try to contain a groan, which sent a little jolt of pleasure through him. He wasn't sure why Rick liked that so much but he would remember never to wear underwear again. He felt his confidence grow a little as he got rid of his trousers and socks too. He felt strangely comfortable being naked with Rick.

Rick tried not to stare when he saw several short scars scattering the insides of Daryl's thighs. He hadn't noticed them in the shower room because Daryl had kept his trousers on. He wanted to move closer and run his fingers or his tongue along the little raised ridges, but he kept himself still. This wasn't the time for that, he wanted Daryl to feel in control and comfortable. 

Daryl tried to keep his shoulders squared and his gaze on Rick's as he noticed Rick staring at his scars. He could handle Rick seeing the little ones, the ones he inflicted on himself, but he couldn't take the look he knew would be in Rick's eyes when he saw the ones on his back. At least he was unconscious when Rick had seen them before. 

He took a step closer and brought his hands up placing them on Rick's upper arms. He rubbed up and down gently and started to become aware of his own building arousal. It made him start to feel awkward until Rick closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. He could do this.

''Lay with me,'' Daryl said, still feeling a little nervous. 

''Your shirt...''

''... stays on,'' Daryl interrupted.

''I've seen them before, Daryl.''

''I know that, I just... shirt stays on,'' Daryl said as his shoulders started to slump.

Rick nodded, trying to understand. Daryl was staying and that's all that mattered. Rick slowly brought his hands up to Daryl's chest and just held them there. Daryl didn't flinch away which felt like a success. This felt so intimate, like nothing he had experienced before. He felt completely open and exposed but not at all uncomfortable. 

Daryl wondered if he should kiss Rick now. It seemed like the thing to do especially with how Rick was looking at him, but instead he moved them both towards the bed. He didn't want to give Rick the wrong idea. He got comfortable on his back, propped up slightly with the pillows, and pulled Rick to him.

Rick willingly let Daryl lead and manoeuvre him into a position he was happy with. Rick drew himself closer, bringing a leg up and over Daryl as he rested his head on his broad shoulder. Rick hadn't realised how much he needed this, someone to hold and to hold him back.

They both laid in comfortable silence for some time, just the sound of each other's breathing to be heard. Rick felt completely at ease and when he closed his eyes he could imagine the world as it was. He had a thought though, would he have ever met Daryl if the dead hadn't started walking? He didn't like the thought of that, this world suddenly didn't feel so bad.

''Daryl...'' Rick broke the silence.

Daryl grunted his acknowledgement.

''You wanna end this?'' Rick asked with his heart in this throat. 

''Na man. I weren't thinkin' right. Had it in ma head it would be fer the best.''

''Certainly ain't best fer me.''

''Yeah, I see that now. It scares me how much I want this an' I don't even know what this is.''

Rick shifted onto an elbow so he could see Daryl as he spoke, ''Daryl, why'd you kiss me in that store?''

''Rick...'' Daryl remembered what Carol had told him about honesty and said, ''Thinkin' I'd lost ya made me realise how much I needed you. Weren't nothin' new, been feelin' that way a while now.''

''How long?''

''I liked you the moment ya said you'd go back fer Merle. It just kinda grew from there.''

Rick sighed, ''If I'd've known I would'a done somethin', told you how I felt.''

''Ya mean...''

''Yeah, it only hit me when Lori... you know, but I been noticin' you a while. Damn I wanted you, just kept brushin' it off though. Then you came through fer me n' ma kids. I couldn't get you outta ma head.''

''Rick...'' Daryl didn't know what to say or how to handle that.

''The thought of finally havin' you and losin' you is too much. Don't you leave me,'' Rick stared into Daryl's eyes trying to see through him and know the truth.

''I honestly thought I'd be doin' you a favour. I ain't worth this... I can't give you what you need.''

''Are you kiddin'? You bein' right here is what I need. It's been me and ma hand fer a long while... even when Lori was alive. This ain't about that though, but... it ain't gonna stop me from tryin' sometimes.'' Rick laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood.

Daryl joined him, letting out a short huff of laughter, ''Yer serious, ain't ya?''

''Damn serious. You leave me and I'm done.''

The laughter disappeared as the seriousness of Rick's statement sunk in. Daryl brought a hand up and cupped Rick's face, drawing his head down. He met Rick halfway, leaning up slightly, and brought their mouths together. The kiss was filled with all of the words Daryl wished he knew how to say. 

He felt Rick getting hard against his leg and he knew he was getting there himself, but Rick made no move to deepen the kiss. Daryl realised Rick would only do as much as he wanted. This was a strange and new experience for him. They were both aroused and clearly wanting each other but neither took it any further in that moment. 

''I ain't gonna leave you,'' Daryl said against Rick's lips between kisses.

Rick moved then, he lifted himself up and climbed on top of Daryl. He supported himself on his knees and elbows, placing an arm on either side of Daryl. His intention was to be closer and the fact that their hard lengths pressed against each other was just a bonus. He brought his head back down for a slow kiss before drawing back and resting his head on Daryl's chest. 

Rick continued to surprise him. Daryl brought his arms up and wrapped them around Rick, holding him close. He ran the fingers of one hand through Rick's curls, loving the way each strand bounced and sprang back as he let it go. He tried to focus on that because he felt so hard it was almost painful and all they had done was kiss a little. 

Maybe sex didn't have to be rough or for the end result. It wasn't that he didn't like or want sex, he just always seemed to end up panicking. But right now he was willing to give it another try, this felt different. In that moment he felt so close to Rick he could barely breath.

Daryl began to move his hips then, slowly rocking them, which caused their erections to rub together. It gave him some relief and he heard Rick moan, but the man didn't make a move. He just kept his head on Daryl's chest and he was grateful for that. He pulled Rick closer to him, tightening his arms around him.

It took everything Rick had not to move, not to take control. It felt like this could be a make or break moment. If he could let Daryl have this then maybe he would feel more comfortable with him physically. All of his focus was being consumed though by the amazing friction Daryl was creating and it was an effort to get his brain to work. 

Daryl moved his hands down Rick's body and found the firm muscles of his arse. He squeezed gently then pulled Rick to him to match the rhythm of his hips, the added movement had his cock leaking. How could this feel so damn good?

The hands grasping and manoeuvring Rick had his cock pulsing in anticipation of more. He scrunched his eyes shut and tried to focus on anything else, he didn't want this moment to end. He loved the feel of Daryl's muscular body moving beneath him. He had to bring his hands up to Daryl's shoulders to anchor himself.

''Daryl...'' Rick sounded unsure.

Daryl had said he didn't want this and now here they were fucking into each other like they both couldn't get enough. It felt perfect and right, but he still felt like he needed to check. He didn't want to risk ruining this. 

''I have the word ya gave me, I want this... God Rick I want you.''

''You got me Daryl, you got me,'' Rick raised his head as he spoke and looked Daryl in the eye.

Rick knew eye contact was everything for Daryl and he wanted him to see that he meant what he said. He leaned down slowly so Daryl could stop him if he wanted to and brought his lips to Daryl's, then he started moving his hips to meet each thrust. The combined movement brought him close to the edge.

Daryl opened for Rick and tangled their tongues together. The pace changed then and he started thrusting up into Rick with greater urgency. Rick grabbed a fist full of Daryl's hair, which had him moaning into Rick's mouth as his orgasm was unexpectedly torn from him. His cock twitched and pulsed against Rick's, his come acting as a lubricant. 

It only took a few more thrusts for Rick's own orgasm to explode out of him. He pulled away from the kiss breathless and pressed his forehead to Daryl's shoulder, he rutted against him as he emptied himself onto Daryl's stomach. 

They both clung to each other, breathing heavily. Daryl could feel Rick's heart pounding in his chest as it pressed against his own. It comforted him. 

''Wow, Daryl,'' Rick felt like he wanted to say something to sum up how he felt but nothing came close, ''we need to do that again... very soon.''

Daryl's chuckle vibrated through him. He felt elated that he had managed to do this without the panic. His heart was pounding as fast as Rick's was, but it felt okay. This didn't feel like how sex normally felt. 

''How did this even happen? I came here ta talk, man,'' Daryl said light-heartedly.

''Well,'' Rick lifted his head and said, ''when two adults like each other very much...''

Daryl swatted at Rick's arse, ''Ha ha.''

Rick chuckled and loved that he could feel this happy when he had never imagined he would again. Rick knew Daryl had something he needed to say and he would be there when he was ready to tell him, but right now he needed to unstick himself from Daryl.

''We made a bit of a mess,'' Rick said as he slowly got up and sat back on his heels. 

Daryl looked down at the evidence of their lovemaking that was covering his stomach and pooling in his belly button. Seeing it made him strangely happy. Rick hadn't left him to clean up and hadn't walked out as soon as he was done. This was different. 

Rick got caught up with how utterly beautiful Daryl looked laying there, he couldn't stop staring. His hair was a mess, his pupils were blown and his lips were still swollen from their kissing. 

''What?'' Daryl felt Rick's eyes on him and was trying real hard not to feel suddenly uncomfortable.

''You are beautiful,'' Rick said rather more breathlessly than he intended. 

He kicked himself mentally, he didn't mean to say that out loud.

Daryl blushed and suddenly felt very exposed. He had never been called beautiful before and he actually quite liked it, not that he would ever admit that. He was a guy and felt a bit weird about being called that, but with the way Rick was looking at him nothing else mattered. 

Rick stared a little longer, he suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion. This amazing and strong but incredibly insecure man had let him in, allowed him past his walls. He felt so happy he could burst. Before he started blubbing like a baby he leaned over to grab his shirt from the floor. 

Daryl laid still as Rick cleaned him up, starting with wiping at his stomach. It still felt strange that Rick was taking care of him but he liked it, he really could get used to this. He closed his eyes as Rick reached his sensitive cock, he was delicate and gentle which melted Daryl's heart.

Daryl opened his eyes when the movement and contact suddenly stopped. He looked up at Rick who was now cleaning himself. Daryl let his eyes roam over his lean body, he took his time, taking it all in and trying to memorise every inch. He paused at Rick's face and frowned when his eyes settled on the bruise on Rick's cheek. 

''I never want ta hurt you again,'' Daryl's voice was quiet, but sounded loud as it broke the silence.

Rick looked up and was a little confused at first until he saw Daryl was staring at his face. He had almost forgotten about the bruise there. It felt like such a long time ago that it had happened, not just the few days it had been. He automatically reached up and touched the now purpley-green skin.

''It was an accident, my fault if anythang.'' 

Rick moved closer and placed a quick kiss on Daryl's forehead before laying at his side, head on Daryl's chest.

No one had kissed Daryl's forehead since his mum had died, he liked it. He sighed and tried to calm the thoughts which threatened to overtake him again. He wanted to just enjoy this moment, he could tell Rick everything in the morning. He put an arm around him and started stroking his hair, as his fingers ran through the curls he could hear Rick's breathing slow. 

''Rick?'' Daryl whispered.

There was no response, just a quiet snoring sound.

''Rick, I...'' Three little words which held so much meaning were aching to come out of Daryl's mouth.

Daryl shook his head and mumbled to himself, ''Ya goin' soft, Dixon.''

He rested his head back and let his eyes close. Tomorrow was going to be tough, but he would do it for Rick. He just hoped Rick would still want him once he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the big conversation didn't quite happen. I had planned it for this chapter then things just started to get a little steamy... so I went with it hehe


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: talk of past sexual abuse

Daryl awoke first this time and he instantly felt panic hit him, there was a hard length pressed into him. He tried to swallow down the feeling of terror and think, as the sleep fog started to clear he remembered that it was Rick behind him, his Rick. They must have shifted in the night so Rick was behind him and he was pressed into the wall. 

He tried to focus on the soft, steady breath on the back of his neck and laid there trying to match his breathing to Rick's. It helped calm him. Rick's presence was reassuring, he knew Rick wouldn't hurt him. He really didn't want a repeat of the last time he woke up with Rick. 

Rick slowly came to and felt incredibly aroused, he was pressed into the gap at the very top of where Daryl's legs met his perfect arse. Rick groaned softly and reached an arm around Daryl's waist to pull him closer. He was still half in and out of sleep as he snuggled closer into the back of Daryl's neck.

The panic instantly returned, he couldn't do this. It had never felt good there, all he could remember was such intense pain and quietly sobbing into the crook of his arm as he was taken roughly from behind. No, he couldn't do this. He felt Rick push closer which made Daryl press even further into the wall, he felt trapped. 

''Rick!'' Daryl sounded terrified, the name coming out more like a sob, ''Rick, please...'' He sounded distant then.

Rick stilled instantly, that was not how he ever wanted to hear Daryl say his name. His heart clenched at the sounds Daryl had started making. He wasn't even sure Daryl knew he was making them. 

''Hey,'' Rick cooed, ''hey, yer alright. It's just me, yer safe with me. Come here...''

Rick moved away and eased Daryl round so they were facing each other. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close once he saw the terrified look on his face. He made sure to keep his lower half a safe distance away.

Daryl clung to him, his breaths were coming in short bursts as he struggled to hold back the panic. He hated this, he had been doing so well and now he had ruined everything. 

''I'm sorry,'' His voice was muffled against Rick's chest. 

''What? No, you don't need to be sorry for nothin'.''

Daryl focused on breathing in and out, with each breath he inhaled Rick's scent and it helped to calm his racing heart and shaking body.

''Rick, you ain't gonna want me... I can't do this... I can't do what you want... this ain't right... it ain't right...'' Daryl babbled.

''Daryl,'' Rick whispered, ''Daryl stop. Look at me,'' Rick said more firmly when Daryl carried on rambling. 

Daryl lifted his head slowly and peered through his hair at Rick. His eyes were red and shiny from held back tears. 

''Of course I'll want you,'' Rick ran his fingers through Daryl's hair and held his head in place, ''What is it you think I want?''

Daryl stared at Rick helplessly, he hated feeling like this. It had been so long since he last felt this way. This wasn't who he was anymore, but it was all coming back.

''...sex,'' Daryl replied and tried to look away. 

Rick tightened his grip in Daryl's hair to keep him from pulling away. He wanted Daryl to see his eyes and know he was going to be okay.

''Daryl, we've had sex...'' Rick felt confused. 

''Na, what we been doin' is different. It felt different.''

''I want to understand. Help me understand.'' 

Rick desperately wanted to make this right, but it felt like Daryl was talking in riddles, like he was missing part of the story. He loosened his grip and stroked his fingers through Daryl's hair again, waiting for him to talk.

''I came here last night ta tell you everythin'. I just know that once I've said it... you ain't gonna want me no more. So I guess I was selfish and didn't tell ya 'cause it was feelin' so good bein' with you. I could pretend it was real and right.''

''Daryl, you can tell me anythang and I'll be here at the end of it. I ain't goin' nowhere. You... this... whatever we got here, I ain't givin' it up for nothin'.''

Daryl stared into Rick's eyes for a long time trying to read him, to know the truth. All he could see was determination and honesty, maybe something else that looked a lot like love but he didn't quite know how to deal with that. He would tell Rick and trust him with a part of his life that he had tried to forget, he could do that for Rick.

Rick gently lifted Daryl and moved himself into a sitting position with his legs crossed, unashamed of his nakedness. He kept eye contact so Daryl knew he wasn't rejecting him, but just wanted to give him some space so he could get whatever he needed to say out.

Daryl sat with his back to the wall and pulled his legs up to him. He did a few of the buttons on his shirt up then brought his arms around hugging his legs to him. He nodded his head to let Rick know he heard him then took one last deep breath before starting the hellish story from his past. A past that seemed like another life now, but it still managed to haunt him.

''After Calvin,'' Daryl began in a shaky but monotone voice, ''you know, things got real bad fer me. It got so bad even Merl had enough and he left, just up and left. Things got worse after that... never thought it could get any worse, but it did.''

''Ya Pa... he...?'' Rick pieced things together and couldn't even voice the conclusions he drew, he felt utterly sick at the thought.

''Na, it weren't like that. He weren't like that,'' Daryl shuddered visibly. 

Rick knew the direction this was going in but felt slight relief that it wasn't his dad. He still felt a rage building deep inside him though. He was imagining Daryl as a child, a child who had dealt with so much already in his life. The abuse and the beatings, losing his mum, and now this. He wasn't sure he could handle hearing it, but he would for Daryl.

''Who?''

Daryl glanced up at Rick briefly, hearing the tension in his voice. Rick sounded like he wanted to hurt something. 

''One o' Merle's friends. We all used ta hang out... get drunk an' shit,'' Daryl looked at Rick, ''I never did no drugs though, weren't ma thing.''

''Jeez Daryl you couldn't have been much older than twelve years old! What on earth was Merle thinkin' lettin' you drink... let alone...'' Rick paused and scrubbed a hand down his face, ''...sorry, carry on.''

Daryl's childhood was so very different from his own or from Carl's, a different world. He needed to hold all that in though and let Daryl say what he needed to say.

''I know ma life weren't the best, but Merle Iooked out fer me an' when he left I had no one. That's when he started comin' round the house, one o' Merle's friends, sayin' he wanted ta make sure I was alright.''

Daryl remembered feeling so grateful. He felt so lost and lonely without Merle and his dad was more than making up for the loss with more frequent violent outbursts aimed at Daryl, but his dad laid off him when Merle's friend was around. 

''His name was Jesse. I liked him... but not in that way. He was a lot older than me, older than Merle too. I was 'bout thirteen and he musta been at least twenty one.''

Daryl stared off into nothing as he recalled the memories. Some were quite blurry and it all seemed jumbled up in his head, he tried to sort it into some kind of order so he could give Rick the whole picture. He felt so useless and ashamed that he had let it happen to him, how could he have let it happen?!

''He would come over and play computer games. I didn't have a console so he bought me one and some games so we could play together. This went on fer weeks, I had no clue what he really wanted 'til it was too late,'' Daryl's voice broke on the last word. 

''Daryl, I get where this is goin'. You don't hafta...'' Rick's heart was breaking.

''Na, I need you ta know. Honesty from the start,'' Daryl heard Carol's voice in his head, ''I want this thing with you and me ta be real.''

''Hey,'' Rick ducked his head to make eye contact, ''this is real, more real than anythang I had before.''

Daryl looked into Rick's truth filled eyes and nodded. He shifted then and placed himself between Rick's legs. He waited for Rick to uncross them then scooted back, laying his back against Rick's chest. His head rested just below Rick's head. The contact was comforting. 

''One time when we were playin' he paused the game then reached over an' touched ma leg... left his hand there and just stared at me with this weird look in his eyes. I tried ta explain he was ma friend, I didn't want nothin' else. He tightened his grip on ma leg 'til I knew it would bruise, he told me I was a fuckin' tease then he just got up and left. He looked so angry.''

The memory felt so real he could almost feel that hand on his leg again. He leaned further back into Rick to anchor himself. He was with Rick now, he was safe. He felt Rick shift a little then bring his arms up to drape over Daryl's shoulders, resting them lightly on his chest. Daryl could move if he wanted to and he was grateful for that.

''Next time he came back he was full of apologies and he'd bought me a new game. He was ma only friend so I forgave him and it was good again for a few days. Then I made him angry again, it was my fault, I know it.''

Rick wanted to interrupt and tell him it wasn't his fault. How could it be his fault?! But he took a breath and kept quiet, allowing Daryl to continue.

''We were both layin' on ma bed when I dropped ma controller off the side. I leaned down ta get it. He grabbed my butt real hard until it hurt. I just... froze. He pulled me back up and called me a tease again, sayin' I was askin' fer it.''

Rick could feel tears stinging his eyes at what he knew was coming next. 

''It's okay, yer safe with me,'' Rick reassured Daryl and started making little circular patterns with his fingers on Daryl's chest.

Daryl took a deep breath and continued, ''He pushed me under him an' held ma head down into the pillow, it was hard ta breath. He pulled ma trousers down and got on top'a me. All the time he was callin' me a tease and a good for nothin' faggot.''

Daryl's breathing was shallow and his voice was getting more and more quiet as he spoke. 

''He said I needed teachin' a lesson so I wouldn't make other people as crazy as I made him. He said it was my fault this was happenin'. He... went in dry... it hurt Rick, it hurt so bad. Good thing was he didn't last long. He pulled out, which hurt just as much, and just left me there like that. I heard the door close as he went. Don't know how long I laid there like that.''

Rick felt a tear run down his face as he tried to process all that Daryl had said. He suddenly felt awful for the way he had been with Daryl. He had practically forced himself on him in the shower room, even gave him some stupid word so he would let him... he cringed and scrunched his eyes shut.

''Rick?'' Daryl felt a change in Rick and it worried him. 

''Daryl... I... you should've said. I've been forcin' you...''

''Na man, this ain't like that. You been good ta me. Patient.''

''I will be whatever you want me ta be. Anythin', Daryl.''

''...and that's why yer different. Sex ain't never felt like it does with you. It just freaked me out this mornin' when I woke up and felt you there. Somethin' in me just snapped and panicked.''

''We don't need ta do that. Jeez Daryl if I'd've known. I would never have...''

''I ain't celibate or some delicate flower,'' Daryl interrupted, ''but I ain't never gonna be nobody's bitch again.''

''Okay, you just damn well tell me if you don't wanna do somethin' and I'll stop.''

''I got ma word, sheriff,'' Daryl smiled at the memory, ''You gave me that.''

Daryl made it sound like some kind of special gift. Rick felt in awe of the man.

He had often wondered why Daryl kept mostly to himself and seemed not to trust anyone. It all made sense now, but he had become so much a part of the group. He was as much the leader as Rick was. Rick's heart swelled at Daryl's inner strength. 

''Daryl you are amazing,'' Rick said as he pressed a kiss to the top of Daryl's head and tightened his arms slightly.

Daryl was confused. This wasn't the response he expected. He thought he would get pity or worse, but not that. 

''Daryl,'' Rick wanted to know, ''how long did this go on?''

''Merle came back... he was about nineteen. He found out, dunno how but Merle always knew things...''

Rick did the math and couldn't help but interrupt, ''Daryl... that made you fourteen. It went on fer a year!'' Rick felt himself start to hyperventilate. 

Daryl turned and knelt in front of Rick. He put his hands on Rick's bare legs and waited for him to make eye contact. 

''Rick...'' Daryl sounded concerned and wasn't sure what to do.

''Shit Daryl, I hope that Jesse was killed in a fuckin' horrible way! If not I'll track him down and do it maself. I'll get him by the neck and rip his fuckin'…''

''Rick...'' Daryl gripped tighter and almost shouted to try and get through to him, ''Rick... hey, stop. It ain't worth it, was over a long time ago. Ain't worth you goin' crazy over.''

Rick took a deep steadying breath and tried to calm the rage he felt inside him. He was finding it harder and harder to control lately and hearing this just pushed him over that fine line he had been treading. He was seeing red and felt like he needed to hit something. But he forced himself to get some form of control back, for Daryl. 

''Okay, I'm good. I knew there was somethin', but this... how could someone do that ta you.''

''It's okay,'' Daryl said and found himself reassuring Rick again.

''It sure as hell ain't okay. Tell me the guy got what was comin' to him.''

''He had me pretty brainwashed. Thought I deserved it and if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me, just think I was a dirty faggot. So when Merle asked I told him nothin' was goin' on. He flipped out and hit me then cried and said sorry for leavin', said he never would'a left if he had known it would get that bad.''

Rick pulled Daryl back down to their previous position. He didn't know who needed the comfort of the contact more, him or Daryl. He kept running his fingers over Daryl's body lightly, checking he was okay.

''Merle knew I was lyin'. He went after the guy who'd skipped town soon as he knew Merle was back, but Merle found him and beat him within an inch of his life. He spent a few months in hospital.''

For the first time Rick felt a warmth towards Merle, maybe he wasn't so bad after all. He wished he had had the chance to get all the details from him. He needed to know that this Jesse guy had suffered, but he didn't want to trouble Daryl for the details. 

''Merle got arrested, someone had called the police. Jesse didn't want to press charges, but Merle still got taken in 'cause the police saw it all happen. Ended up in Juvie.''

''But in Georgia the max age for Juvie is seventeen. Merle would've been what... nineteen you said?'' Rick's cop brain kicked in and spoke before he could stop it.

''Yeah, but Merle told 'em why he done it. Think the police were more understandin’ then. He got six months. I was back ta bein' alone.''

Daryl suddenly realised how easy it had been to tell Rick all of that. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Rick hadn't up and left him as soon as he found out, if anything he felt closer to him. There was nothing else left to tell, no more dark secrets. This was all of him. 

He hadn't gone into detail about all the times it had happened or some of the more awful things that were done to him or that Jesse had made him do, but Rick knew the gist of it. He knew and he wasn't disgusted or wanting to leave him. He even felt good about Rick wanting to protect him and fight for him. 

''After everythin' I struggled ta cope, just shut down. Pa got bored with beatin' me 'cause I'd just take it without a word or sound. Ended up droppin' outta school at fifteen. Spent more and more time in the woods. No one really cared I weren't around.''

''Daryl...'' Rick didn't know what to say or do.

''Ended up gettin' a job eventually at the garage fixin' up bikes and cars. I missed a load o' school anyway when I was stitchin' maself up or unconscious.''

Saying it all out loud made Daryl realise how bad it sounded, but that was what his life was like as a kid. He couldn’t change it.

Rick was still trying to calm his rage at what Daryl had revealed. It wasn't at all helpful, but he couldn't shake the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had been rough with Daryl, pulling his hair and taking control. Was he just as bad? 

''... I pulled yer hair, made you do thangs...'' Rick felt sick.

Daryl got back up and knelt in front of Rick again, ''na man, don't think like that. I liked it... it was... a distraction. I don't know how ta explain, I ain't good at this, Rick.''

''You don't need ta explain nothin'. Just tell me an’ I'll stop.''

''I don't want you ta stop.''

Daryl leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Rick's lips. 

Rick hugged Daryl to him, ''I'm glad you told me. We can figure this out together. I want this more than anythin'.''

''What is this?'' Daryl wanted to know what they had, he wasn't sure he could be Rick's secret, that felt dirty and wrong, but the thought of telling everyone terrified him. 

''It's whatever you want it ta be.''


	10. Chapter 10

Daryl felt a spring in his step, he was happy and the feeling was kind of strange but he liked it. After he had revealed all to Rick the day before they spent the morning in bed, they both stayed there as long as they could get away with without drawing attention to their joint absence.

Daryl had laid with his head on Rick, whose soft breathing lifted his chest up and down, Daryl had found it soothing and relaxing. Rick stroked and played with Daryl's hair as he told his own childhood stories. Daryl loved the sound of Rick’s gravelly voice and the way it rumbled through his chest. 

He was envious of Rick’s idyllic upbringing and all of the friends he had, especially Shane. Daryl never had a close friend like Shane. He could hear the smile in Rick’s voice as he spoke about the things they used to get up to as kids or how drunk they had both got at Rick's bachelor party. 

He could also hear the underlying sadness at how his friendship had ended with him and how Shane had changed everything between him and Lori. Rick explained that he had suspected that something was going on between the two of them even before the end of the world. Rick confessed to falling out of love with her long ago, but he just couldn't admit it to himself at the time.

He absentmindedly drew a finger across Rick’s chest and started marking out random patterns in the curls scattered there as he listened. Daryl wondered if Rick had said that for his benefit or whether it was true. How could someone stay with a person they didn't love? Daryl had no idea, he had never had a relationship before, nothing more than a few months and never anything serious.

Sometimes he would drift out of the conversation, Rick’s voice sliding into the background as he mused over his current situation. He couldn’t believe he was laying with Rick, touching him freely, and if he wanted to he could lean up and touch his lips to Rick’s. It felt so natural and comfortable, like they had been together doing things like this forever. 

Is that what being in a relationship felt like? If it was, he was glad it was Rick he was experiencing this with for the first time. His heart felt funny and if he thought too hard his stomach felt like it had butterflies in it. He wasn't nervous or worried and he didn't feel afraid around Rick. He made a mental note to ask Carol, at some point, what all that meant.

They did eventually go down to breakfast. Maggie and Glenn gave them a knowing look that Daryl tried to ignore, but deep down he secretly liked that they knew. He wanted to be able to show his affection for Rick in front of everyone, even if the idea scared him, but most of all he wanted Rick to be proud to be with him. He wanted Rick to put an arm around him and declare to everyone that Daryl Dixon belonged to him. 

It was a stupid thought because it was he who was holding back and asking Rick not to tell anyone. That was because his overriding feeling was one of panic, he just couldn’t deal with the rejection which he felt was inevitable. People wouldn’t accept who he was, that’s just how the world worked. There were no happy endings for a Dixon. 

His thoughts were interrupted and he was brought back to the present by someone calling his name. He could barely hear the faint sound over the rumbling of his motorbike engine. 

''Daryl… hey, wait up!''

Daryl turned the engine off and sat back on the bike seat, squinting a little as he looked up to see who had been calling him. He brought a hand up to shade his eyes and saw Carl jogging towards him. He still wore his Dad’s hat and that made Daryl smile. He really wasn’t used to smiling so often, he was sure as hell he looked stupid. 

Carl came to a halt in front of Daryl and put his hands on his knees, bending slightly trying to catch his breath. 

''Daryl...'' Carl panted.

''Yeah kid, ya said that already.''

Carl straightened up and huffed out a sigh and said, ''I ain’t a kid!''

Daryl just stared at him, waiting for him to say what he had to say so he could get on with his day. 

He felt antsy because he and Rick had agreed to spend the night in their own cells last night so as not to raise suspicion. He had thought it was a good idea at the time, but he really struggled to sleep. He tossed and turned, eventually he hugged a pillow to him and imagined it was Rick until he drifted off. He had spent so long on his own, it felt ridiculous. 

He had it bad and he knew it. Tonight he planned on joining Rick on watch, he needed the man’s company. He also felt he needed the reassurance that Rick still wanted him. He wondered how long he would need that reassurance. Would Rick eventually get fed up with him and his neediness? 

His mind then started imagining all the ways he could get Rick to show him that he did in fact want him. He felt himself smiling again, he just couldn’t contain it. 

''...Daryl?''

''Huh...what?''

''Jeez, you weren’t even listenin’. Wha’s goin’ on, man? First ma Dad is all spacey the other day and didn’t listen to a word I said, and now you!''

Daryl froze and tried to make up some excuse, ‘’Ah… he’s probably real tired… ya know, all that farmin’ is hard work.’’

''Riiiight.'' Carl didn’t believe a word he was saying and the cogs in his brain started whirring. 

''Wha'd'ya want, kid?''

''If one more person calls me kid... I swear...'' Carl clenched his fists at his sides as he spoke. 

''Sorry... it's just habit. Don't mean nothin' by it.''

Daryl used the word again to try and distract him which seemed to work. He didn't want any awkward conversations he just wanted to go hunting. The deer was still aging so he wanted to bring back some rabbit or squirrel, something they could eat right away. He also wanted Rick to look at him the way he always did when he caught something and brought it back. 

''Come ta think of it, you both been smilin' an awful lot lately too.''

Daryl was torn from his thoughts again, ''What?''

''I ain't never seen you smile like that before.''

Daryl realised he was in fact smiling like an idiot again at his thoughts. Damn Rick making him so happy he couldn't hide it. 

Carl's brain started working overtime. He remembered how flustered Daryl had been after breakfast the other morning. They both came down late for breakfast yesterday and his Dad had been acting real weird on the farm lately. Maggie and Glenn kept looking at them, nudging each other and giggling. He even remembered Carol staring at his Dad and Daryl with a weird smile on her face.

''Oh...'' Carl's lips formed into an 'O' shape then he brought both hands up to cover his mouth, ''Oh!'' Carl said again louder, but muffled this time by his hands. 

Daryl sighed and briefly closed his eyes. Why couldn't Rick be dealing with this. He wasn't any good at stuff like this, he was likely to say or do something he shouldn't. He felt a weight suddenly on his shoulders. This was a big conversation to be had.

''Are you... is this... you... and my Dad... are...'' Carl's words weren't working, he struggled to form a coherent sentence.

Daryl stared at him, trying to figure out where this was going. It was obvious Carl had figured it out so he just waited for the inevitable rejection, the 'eewww gross' or 'leave my Dad alone' or 'I hate you'. He watched Carl bounce slightly from one foot to another with his hands still pressed over his mouth. He couldn't watch this for much longer. 

''Carl, just spit it out already will ya.''

Carl took a few deep breaths and tried to steady himself so he could get his words out. He dropped his hands to his sides.

''Does.... does this mean... do I get to call you Dad?''

Daryl couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Was Carl laughing at him? Being mocked by a teenager felt even worse than being told to get lost by one.

''Jus' say it alright, what you really wanna say.''

Carl was a bit confused by that response, but it didn't stop him lunging forward and hugging Daryl; gripping him tight around the waist. He squeezed and squeezed. 

''Carl?'' Daryl sounded confused and kept his hands by his sides, frozen to the spot.

''This is the best thing ever!''

Daryl slowly brought his hands up and put them on Carl's back, tentatively hugging him back. This wasn't at all how he saw this going. 

''Carl... yer okay with this? With me an' yer daddy... you know?'' Daryl said, feeling the need to clarify.

''Am I okay with it? Am I... I got two kick ass Dads now,'' Carl spoke through a beaming smile as he stepped back from the hug and adjusted his hat.

''Carl...'' Daryl felt a lump forming in his throat, he couldn't quite get the rest of the sentence out. 

What was going on? First Glenn and Maggie seemed alright with him liking guys, more specifically Rick. Carol helped him and was completely fine with it too and now Rick's son was actually smiling and dancing around in front of him like he'd just won the jackpot. Did he seriously ask if he could call him Dad?

''Hey, you okay? You look sad all of a sudden.''

''Na man, I ain't sad. Jus' didn't expect you ta be so... you really good with me an' yer Dad?''

''Daryl you were there fer me an' ma family when it all went ta Hell. You looked out fer Judith like she was yer own. Jeez how didn't I see this sooner. It's so obvious now how much you care about my Dad and how much he needs you.''

''Carl, when did get so grown up huh?''

Carl blushed but didn't look away, ''Does this mean you will take me huntin' with you?''

''Oh, so that's what you came over here for. That why yer being so nice ta me?'' Daryl smiled, trying to take the seriousness out of the conversation.

''Please Daryl, I'm goin’ crazy on that farm all day. Take me with you, please?'' Carl sounded more his age now as he whined.

Daryl sighed and squinted, trying to see Rick on the farm from where he was. He saw movement and recognised the silhouette. He got a little distracted just watching that shape move comfortably around the farm. He eventually looked back across at Carl and saw him staring between him and his Dad.

''You really do love 'im, don't you?'' Carl said in a serious tone.

Carl knew that look. It's how his Dad used to look at his Mum, then it was how Shane would look at his Mum. Although he hadn't seen that look in his Mum's eyes for a long time, maybe sometimes when she was with Shane. He didn't think his Mum and Dad had been happy together for a while, even before the apocalypse. He really wanted to see his Dad smile and laugh again.

''People keep usin' that word... but... how am I supposed ta know?'' Daryl mused aloud.

''You'll figure it out, man. My Dad seems happy when he’s around you, that's all that matters ta me.''

Daryl looked at Carl and saw a young man standing in front of him, he had grown up too fast. He should be playing at the park, hanging out with friends and ditching school. Well maybe not so much the last part, Rick wouldn't be happy with that. Maybe taking him on a hunt wouldn't be so bad, it might be a bit of fun for him. 

When Daryl was his age he was out in the trees whenever he got the chance, it was his safe haven. Just because it was the end of the world it didn't mean the kid should miss out on his youth.

''Go ask yer Dad,'' Daryl nodded in Rick's direction, wanting to change the subject back to something safe.

''Huh? Oh... he will just say no,'' It took a moment for Carl to catch up with the change in conversation.

''I'm sure you can persuade 'im,'' Daryl said and watched as Carl squared his shoulders and give a nod, ''Don't you go tellin' 'im I said you could though.''

''Right. Thanks Daryl. Don't leave without me!'' Carl called over his shoulder as he ran off in the direction of the farm.

-

Rick had been raking the same patch of dirt over and over for a while now, he just couldn't seem to focus and it didn't help that he hadn't slept well. He had only spent the last few nights with Daryl, but already he was struggling to sleep without him pressed close. 

Maybe it hadn’t been such a great plan to stay in separate cells last night. He had suggested it for Daryl's sake thinking that way he would feel more comfortable because he didn't want people to find out. He was sure people had been talking when they both came down late for breakfast at the same time.

Carol knew and it was obvious Glenn and Maggie did too. There wasn't really that many more people to tell, but he would respect Daryl's wishes and keep it to themselves for now. After hearing Daryl's story he got why he didn't want people to know, Rick wanted to help him see that not everyone would be that bad.

As well as that though, he really wanted to tell Carl but had no idea where to start. He felt that his son deserved to know. He didn't want any secrets between them, not in this world because life was too short. Carl looked up to Daryl and practically treated him like a second Father anyway, but this had the potential to change all of that. He didn't know how he was going take it. 

He set the rake against the makeshift shed, he pulled one glove off and wiped at his sweat slick forehead. It was already so hot out. He was sweating through his clothes and it wasn't even midday yet. He wasn't sure he would ever get used the weather in Georgia. 

The roar of a motorbike suddenly starting up peaked Rick's interest. He looked down to the gate and saw Daryl astride his bike, he could make out the sheen of dirt and sweat glistening on Daryl's strong arms that were reaching up to the bike's handlebars. He sighed as he felt a stirring in his trousers. 

He had always enjoyed looking at Daryl and sometimes he would fantasize about what he would do to him if he ever had the chance, but now it was worse because they weren't just fantasies in his head anymore. He had kissed those lips, run his tongue along that jaw, had felt those muscular arms grip him tight as they fucked into each other. Rick groaned, he couldn't keep doing this.

He was trying to be a gentleman and give Daryl some space. He didn't want to take things too fast and freak him out. Daryl had been through so much, more than he had realised. So he wanted to do things right, but he didn't really have any idea what he was doing. For a start he had never been with a man before and he sure as Hell hadn't dated anyone in a very long time. 

He slid his glove back on and tore his gaze away from Daryl, the image of him still imprinted in his mind. He was quickly realising that Daryl straddling a motorbike did things to him, he would have to add it to his list of things Daryl was no longer allowed to do in front of Rick. Daryl was off out on a hunt so that image would have to last him until he got back. Spending time apart seemed harder than ever since they started this thing. 

They had still joined each other for breakfast in the morning after their first night apart since all this started. Daryl had sat with his leg pressed against Rick's and his shoulder brushing against his with each mouthful he brought up to his lips. This was familiar, they had been sitting this say for a while, but it felt different now.

Rick had become enthralled by Daryl chewing and the way his neck worked as he swallowed each bite. He started to imagine other things that Daryl could swallow down. Rick let out another big sigh and grabbed some seeds to start planting. 

Time apart from Daryl actually felt like torture. His skin itched and his heart thudded out an odd rhythm.

''Hey, Dad,'' Carl said in a tone of voice that Rick knew all too well.

It startled him from his thoughts and he jumped slightly. He hadn't even noticed Carl approaching. In this new zombie filled world he really couldn't afford to be that complacent. 

''What is it you want, Carl?''

Rick busied himself with planting seeds, knowing Carl wanted something and from his tone of voice it was going to be something Rick would likely say no to. No matter how quickly Carl had been forced to mature and grow up, he was still a teen and it was made obvious when we wanted something he couldn't have. He could throw a mean strop when he wanted to.

''Dad,'' Carl almost sang as he extended the word, ''Please can I go huntin' with Daryl?''

Rick shot him a look that clearly meant 'no, are you out of your freakin' mind?' But Carl seemed unfazed. 

''Daryl said I could, he said to ask you first though,'' Carl glanced back at Daryl when he said exactly what Daryl had told him not to say.

''Oh, did he now?'' Rick followed Carl's eyes and they landed on Daryl who was tinkering with something on his bike, ''And what would give you the idea that he can give the okay on somethin' like that?''

''He is practically my second Dad now, right?''

''Huh?''

''Actually, does that mean I should start calling you Mom?''

Rick swallowed in sudden understanding. Carl must know, but how? Then his brain caught up with him.

''Hey! Why would I be Mom?''

''You stay at home, work on yer garden... Daryl goes out and brings home food an' things,'' Carl said it quite matter of factly, ''You’re totally the wife.''

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

''Carl, we need ta talk.'' Rick said as he shook his head, he couldn't help but smile. 

''We don't need ta talk, I get it. You love Daryl and he loves you, an' you finally did somethin' about it... took yer damn time...'' Carl trailed off then said, ''I'm happy for you, really. Now can I go huntin', please?''

Rick just stood and stared at his son. The conversation he had been dreading was over before he had even got any words out. Carl had said so easily what he hadn't been able to vocalise. He does love Daryl and deep down he had known that for some time.

Rick stepped closer to his son and pulled him into a tight hug, making the hat Carl wore with pride fall from his head and tumble to the ground. Rick felt like he had truly done something right in this world. Carl had been through so much, but he was growing into a fine young man.

''Wish I knew how ta tell him that,'' Rick said in a whisper, more to himself than anything.

''You’re both as bad as each other,'' Carl said as he pulled back and rolled his eyes. 

Carl reached down to pick up his hat and dusted it off before putting it back on his head. He stood, hands on his hips looking the spitting image of Rick in that moment.

''So, can I?''

Carl made everything seem so simple. He and Daryl did clearly love each other, but it just seemed so much more complicated than that. Rick let out a breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding. 

''As long as you don't go far an’ tell Daryl not to let you outta his sight.''

''Yes! Thank you, Dad!'' Carl bounced up and down with excitement.

''Hold up,'' Rick called as Carl turned to run off in Daryl's direction, ''You know... you can talk ta me about anythang, right?''

''It's real nice ta see you happy again finally, but I really don't need all the details Dad.''

''So... it is Dad then,'' Rick smiled, ''I quite liked the idea of being a stay at home mom,'' Rick joked.

Carl laughed as he turned to leave. He waved as he picked up his pace, almost tripping over himself in his haste to get back to Daryl. 

Rick stood and watched as Carl reached Daryl. It warmed his heart when he saw Daryl shaking his head at a stroppy Carl. Daryl then walked away from his bike and made his way over to one of the cars. Carl looked as if he was pleading with him, following him back and forth from the bike to the car as Daryl loaded up what they would need for the hunt.

Rick trusted Daryl to look after his kid. He had done a damn good job when Rick was unable to do it himself. He continued to watch the scene play out in front of him, knowing Daryl wouldn't back down. He wouldn't let Carl ride on the back of his bike no matter how much Carl protested.

Carl would be okay and this might be good for him. With that in mind he got back to his farming. He really hadn't got much done apart from rake the Hell out of a patch of dirt. He started to think up ways he could court Daryl properly in an apocalypse as he worked. 

-

Daryl grabbed his crossbow from the back of his bike, it was the last thing he gathered up and put it into the back seat of the car. He arranged it so he would be able to reach it easily if needed. Carl was still by his side trying to talk him into taking him on the bike. Daryl found it amusing and could see a bit of himself in Carl, persistent and stubborn.

''We ain't ridin' so shut up an' get in the car already.''

Carl gave one last stroppy-as-Hell look in Daryl's direction before huffing out a loud sigh and climbing into the passenger seat, he slammed the door shut and sat with his arms folded. 

Daryl walked round and climbed into the driver's side. He fastened his belt and looked at Carl until he reluctantly did the same. 

''Silent treatment I can handle, sure beats yer constant yappin','' Daryl said lightheartedly.

He started the car and put it into gear, he took one last look at Rick before signalling for the gate to be opened. Maggie was there and she waved them through with a smile on her face. Daryl couldn't hide the blush he felt creeping up his cheeks. Maggie had a way of looking at him like she could see right through him to his deepest thoughts and fantasies. 

Daryl focused on driving and tried not to make eye contact with Maggie. He gave a small nod as a way of thanks that he knew she would see. As he heard the gate being closed behind him he increased the speed. He had a place in mind, somewhere not too far from the prison but far enough for Carl to feel like they were hunting properly.

The journey was silent. Daryl felt comfortable with that, he liked silence. He kept feeling Carl glance over at him though, he knew there was something he wanted to say.

''What?''

''Huh?'' Carl tried to feign ignorance, ''Nothin'.''

''Riiight,'' They were almost there and he didn't want all the chat while they tried to hunt, ''It's about me an' yer daddy ain't it? Knew you were too quick ta be okay with it.''

Daryl braced himself for the inevitable. It had all been too easy so far.

''Daryl, why'd you always do that?''

''Do what?''

''Always jump to conclusions that people're gonna hate on you.''

Daryl didn't know how to respond to that. He just sat and stared at Carl briefly before focusing back on the road. 

Carl shook his head and said, ''I was actually thinkin’ how cool it would be ta have you as a Dad. I weren't jokin' earlier. I can't wait for you ta teach me how ta hunt.''

Daryl stared again in disbelief. He felt his heart do something odd and his eyes started to sting. He tried to focus on the road, his vision blurring slightly. He saw a clearing up ahead near the spot he had in mind so he pulled the car over just off the road to avoid unwanted attention.

''Come on,'' Daryl said as he turned off the engine and got out of the car. 

Daryl knew he was ignoring what Carl had said, but he didn't know how to handle it. Instead he busied himself with gathering supplies from the car, shoving some at Carl to keep him busy.


	11. Chapter 11

''So what d’you think? Can you help me?'' 

''Oh honey, such a romantic. You sure 'bout this though? It is Daryl we're talkin' about, he might not know how ta handle it.''

Rick knew that Carol understood the most about what made Daryl Dixon tick, but he needed to do this. He wanted to surprise him with a dinner for two while he was on watch tonight. It was the only real alone time they got and he didn't want to do it in his cell, that may imply he was only after one thing and he didn’t want Daryl to think that. 

It was on watch that these feelings really started to develop. They spent a lot of time together up there, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking. Either way it was where he had felt most at ease and enjoyed the other man's company. He would sometimes end up hoping, waiting for Daryl to join him and would be incredibly disappointed on the nights he was left alone. 

So watch was where he would have his first date with Daryl. He just needed to organise the food, which is why he was here talking with Carol. He wanted it to be something special, which wasn’t going to be easy with the meagre rations they had. Carol though, she would be able to make something that would be worthy of a first date. 

Later he would look for a table cloth and maybe some candles, surely someone had candles. He suspected Maggie and Glenn would have something he could use, they were the only others he could ask really as they already seemed to know. Rick felt jolts of excitement run through him at the thought of carrying out his surprise. 

''I want ta do this properly, no rushin'. Just 'cause the dead are walkin' don't mean I shouldn't treat 'im right, he deserves to be treated right. I want ta show him how much he means ta me. Try and make him see how I really feel...''

Carol stepped into Rick's space as he babbled and gave him a knowing look. She put a reassuring arm around his shoulder and rested her head on the side of his gently. 

''You love him,'' Carol whispered.

It felt odd having Carol whispering those words into his ear, he was sure at one point Carol had a thing for Daryl. Rick had become insanely jealous when he saw how close the two were becoming. He would catch sight of them, a forehead kiss or a lingering touch, and it made Rick feel like he needed to go and hit something. He no doubt took it out on Lori.

Rick nodded slowly.

He did love Daryl and he had done for longer than he cared to admit. He didn’t want to waste any more time. He needed to tell Daryl, show him how he feels.

''So you’ll handle the food?’’

‘’I’ll more than handle it honey, don’t you worry.’’

Rick felt giddy and smiled when he said, ‘’I'll come pick it up before my shift.'' 

''It will be the best damn meal I can rustle up.''

''Thank you, Carol.''

Rick reached up and squeezed the hand that was hanging around his neck before heading to Maggie and Glenn’s cell to hopefully get the rest of what he needed.

For the first time since the world went to shit Rick had something to look forward to. It almost felt normal. His son was out having fun with Daryl and he would make everything perfect for when they got back. Things were looking up finally.

-

''Always make sure the safety is on before loadin' a bolt,'' Daryl said as he stood behind Carl who was holding the crossbow.

Carl nodded and watched intently as Daryl put the safety on. He held Carl's arms lightly and pointed them towards the floor. 

''Put yer foot through the bottom there and hold it still.''

Carl did as instructed and slid his foot through the stirrup. He had to put his full weight on it as Daryl pulled the string back. It didn't look easy, he could see the strain in Daryl's muscles. One day he would have muscles like that.

''What's the tape for?'' Carl asked after noticing a small bit of red tape wrapped around the string.

Daryl hooked the string in place and took a step back. Carl had so many questions and he was trying to answer them all, be a good teacher, but at this rate it was going to be a long day.

''The tape helps centre the string, if it's even slightly off yer shot won't be accurate. Either pullin' to the right or left. Now, you always point the crossbow towards the floor or somewhere safe when loadin' it. It ain't a toy and if you get it wrong someone could get hurt pretty bad.''

Carl was nodding enthusiastically as he lowered the bow back to the floor.

Daryl picked up a bolt and slid it into place making sure Carl was watching.

''Push the bolt back ta where the string is. The bolt shouldn't move once it's in place,'' Daryl explained as he demonstrated. 

He removed the bolt and handed it to Carl, ''Now you try.''

Carl took the bolt with slightly shaky hands. This was all too exciting for him. He was about to load a crossbow and not just any crossbow, Daryl Dixon's crossbow that he had saved people's lives with. He followed the steps as carefully as he could but ended up raising the weapon as he maneuvered the bolt.

Daryl was there behind him again slowly lowering the crossbow to the floor. 

''Safety first,'' Daryl mumbled and stepped away again, ''Lean it against yer leg if ya need to use both hands.''

Carl felt proud of himself as he finished loading the bolt. He looked up at Daryl with a smile on his face.

Daryl saw an expectant look on Carl's face and scrambled for something positive to say, ''Err... good job.''

He had taught himself to cock and load a bow. No one had said nice things to him when he finally got it right. He had to learn the hard way and that had meant rope burns and sore muscles. It took a while before he was strong enough. No one had said nice things to him at any point really, but Carl was different, he was Rick's kid. 

Daryl put his hand on Carl's shoulder and squeezed lightly, ''Really... good job.''

Carl looked to the floor trying to hide the blush behind the hat he wore. 

''Come on, let's go,'' Daryl took the crossbow and motioned towards a small clearing just past some trees. 

''Where're we goin'?'' Carl didn't take a breath before continuing, ''What're we doin' next? Can I shoot the crossbow? D'you think we'll be able to hunt something for real?'' Carl reeled off question after question as they walked. 

''If ya want to learn to hunt,'' Daryl said turning to Carl and trying to be patient, ''The first thing ya need to do is learn to be quiet. Noise scares the prey away.''

''Oh, sorry,'' Carl said in a whisper and brought his hands up to cover his mouth.

Carl was swaggering as he walked beside Daryl, but Daryl could feel the buzz of excitement in him when a few of his steps became skips as he tried to keep up with Daryl's strides. 

As Daryl approached the clearing he set the crossbow down and pulled a sheet from his bag. He walked to the opposite side of the open space and hung the sheet on a tree. He grabbed up some dirt and smeared it in the middle then made his way back. 

''Target practice, before we try for anythin' movin'.''

Carl nodded and looked over to the makeshift target. The loaded crossbow was handed back to him. He started to feel nervous as he lifted it, it was heavy and his muscles shook a little with the effort to hold it up and steady.

''Get yer target in sight. Hold the crossbow firm but relax. Take some deep breaths,'' Daryl breathed slow and deep to show Carl what he meant.

Carl closed his eyes as he tried to slow his breathing. Daryl stepped up behind him again and took some of the weight of the bow so Carl could focus on aiming and looking through the sight. 

''Once you feel ready, breathe out slow and pull the trigger. Keep yer eyes open, never take 'em off yer target.''

Carl gave a quick nod and looked through the sight again. He breathed slowly, taking deep breaths until he felt a little light headed. He pulled the trigger. The bolt zipped through the air but he didn't see where it went, he had closed his eyes with the impact of the recoil. The full weight of the crossbow was in his hands and the force of the release had him stumbling forwards away from Daryl. 

''Not bad fer a first try,'' Daryl clapped him on the back and took the crossbow from him.

Daryl started reloading it and watched as Carl tried to see where his shot had hit.

''Not quite on target, it ain't easy shootin' a bow,'' Daryl smiled over at Carl.

Carl had his hands on his hips, reminding Daryl of Rick, shaking his head. 

''I can shoot a gun and hit a target. This was different, ended up losin' ma footin','' Carl kicked his foot into the floor a few times and stared at the target he had missed. 

''A gun's recoil sends ya backwards, crossbows opposite, the bolt leavin' the bow pulls ya froward.'' 

Daryl handed the loaded crossbow back to Carl, ''Steady yer feet, spread yer weight between yer legs more.''

Carl breathed and steadied himself. He spread his feet apart, putting one slightly behind the other this time. He raised the bow and looked through the sight. Daryl didn't help him hold it, instead he went and sat propped against a tree. One long breath in and then he pulled the trigger as he breathed out, just like had Daryl said.

This time he was ready for the recoil and held his feet firm. Carl tensed his shoulders with the effort to keep the bow held up. He still closed his eyes but opened them again to see where his bolt had ended up. He was happy to see it had hit the sheet, but it was lower than the smudge of dirt which represented the centre of the target. 

''Keep yer arms strong but don't tense yer shoulders. Footin' was better, but always keep yer eyes open, always on yer target. If yer strugglin’ ta hold the bow up try crouchin’ down, support the bow with an elbow on yer leg.''

Carl nodded as he walked over to Daryl for him to reload it again. 

''Few more tries then I'll teach you how ta set traps. Huntin' ain't always shootin'.''

-

''Maggie?'' Rick called out quietly.

The privacy sheet was down and he didn't particularly want to walk in on her and Glenn. 

The sheet was moved to one side and a sleepy looking Maggie rubbed her eyes and invited Rick in.

''Didn't mean to wake you.''

''S'okay, think I've got some kinda head cold. Glenn's gone ta find Carol, see if she's got something' for it. So, what brings you here?''

On closer inspection Rick could see the red rimmed eyes and runny nose. Maggie had a wad of tissue in her hand and brought it up to her nose every so often with a sniff. 

''I was wonderin' if you could help me actually. I need some stuff for somethin' I got planned, like candles and a nice sheet of some kind, ya know like a tablecloth or somethin','' Rick felt himself rambling as he did when he was nervous.

''Ah, you plannin' somethin' romantic Mr Grimes.'' Maggie made it a statement more than a question. 

She seemed to perk up a little at that. Maggie took Rick by the shoulders and maneuvered him into a sitting position on the bunk. 

''Tell me all about it,'' she said as she began rummaging through bags that were scattered around.

''Erm, well... I gather you know already... Daryl and I... well... we... he...'' Rick scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a heavy sigh.

''I ain't stupid Rick,'' Maggie glanced over her shoulder at Rick with a soft smile and said, ''Skip to the part where yer plannin' yer little romantic evenin'.''

''He don't want anyone knowin', thinks people're gonna... I dunno... hate him, not want him around anymore. I'm hopin' ta give him somethin' special tonight. Dinner, talkin', relaxin'. Somethin' nice,'' Rick felt stupid saying it all out loud. 

''It's hard to imagine Daryl Dixon ever givin' a crap 'bout what people think,'' Maggie mused as she turned back to her search, ''We all seen them scars on his back...''

Rick could tell Maggie didn't know where to go with that.

''Yeah, he's been through some shit. Now I wanna show him that not all people are bad.''

''We ain't never gonna let him go, Rick. He's as much a part o' this family as anyone.''

''I know that and you know that, but he don't see it. It's like he thinks he's kept around 'cause he hunts and can be useful somehow. But, God Maggie, I've been so stupid,'' Rick had started and he just couldn't stop talking now, ''All this time I never realised, never saw what was right in front o' me. The way I feel about him... I need to show him...''

Maggie pulled out two used candles, they had plenty of life left in them though. She turned and sat crossed legged in front of Rick, placing the candles by Rick's feet.

''Ain't no use mopin' and thinkin' on how things could'a been. You got him now and it's real easy to see that ya both need each other. Whatever's goin' on in his head... just give 'im time.''

''Thanks, Maggie.''

''You are Rick Grimes,'' Maggie placed a hand on his knee, ''You can do anythin'. You lead us, kept us safe, fed us and brought us here. Now it's time for you ta do somethin' fer you.''

She stood up and pulled one last thing out of the bag she got the candles from. It was a soft, red blanket.

''Here,'' Maggie handed Rick the blanket, ''Beats a tablecloth. Use it like a picnic blanket, more intimate than havin' a table in the way,'' She smiled and winked at him. 

Rick wrapped the candles in the blanket and stood. 

''I ain't used ta seeing Daryl so... vulnerable,'' Rick's eyes looked to the floor as he spoke.

''Don't mean he ain't strong. Just means he trusts you with all that stuff. Don't mean you gotta treat him any different though, he ain't gonna break.''

Rick looked up at Maggie and smirked, ''Yer right, he's still a Dixon.'' 

Rick moved to the opening of the cell but Maggie caught his arm, ''Wait a sec.''

She pulled a small box from under the bunk Rick had just been sitting on and rummaged around until she produced a small tube of lube and some condoms. Rick felt his face flush. She stood back up and tucked them into Rick's front trouser pocket as he had his hands full.

''Might come in handy,'' She smiled and patted the full pocket. 

Rick groaned, ''I wouldn't even know where ta begin... I ain't never been with a man before and... well, Lori weren't exactly adventurous.'' 

Rick couldn't believe he was having this conversation. He felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. 

''All ya gotta know is that it takes time, you gotta be slow and use lots o' lube, one finger at a time,'' Maggie wiggled her eyebrows and fingers in unison to emphasise her point, ''Oh and guys are the lucky ones, you just gotta know where ta find the right spot and...'' 

''...and what?'' Rick felt like he should be taking notes.

''You'll see,'' Maggie beamed then chuckled to herself.

She turned Rick around and gave him a gentle push out of her cell. 

Rick's head was spinning. Would Daryl even want that after all he'd been through? What if Daryl did and Rick did something wrong or he was terrible at it? This was unlike him to be so unsure of himself. He was usually a do it and think later kinda guy. He could tear the head clean off a Walker but the thought of going all the way with Daryl was a little terrifying. 

He turned out of the cell block as an endless stream of thoughts swirled around his mind. He made his way to the watchtower he would be manning tonight and tried to think of something else. 

-

Daryl watched as Carl set the last trap, he was a fast learner. The traps were large enough for rabbits or squirrels and if they were lucky they would catch a couple to take back. He only had to kill one stray walker so far which meant the animals were less likely to be disturbed in this area. 

''You learn fast, kid... I mean Carl. Get ya brains from yer Dad that's fer sure. Lighter on yer feet though. Can always hear yer Dad comin' a mile off.''

Carl laughed and stood once he had finished. He dusted his hands off on his trousers as he admired his handy work.

''Gotta leave the traps to do their thing now. Let's break for lunch. Don't want ta make too much noise now, just gotta wait it out.''

Carl nodded and followed Daryl as he walked further away from the traps. 

''Bit late for lunch though, don't ya think,'' Carl said as he looked up at the position of the sun.

Daryl slung an arm around Carl's shoulders and pulled him to him, ''You are a faster learner, smartass.''

Carl wriggled around in Daryl's grasp, pretending he wanted to get away. Deep down he was bubbling over with happiness that Daryl had complimented him. He had listened to everything Daryl had been teaching him, even the part about knowing the time of day by looking at the position of the sun. 

''Come on, let's set up a camp. We'll be here a few more hours before headin' back,'' Daryl released Carl and felt himself smiling. 

''Can you teach me to start a fire?'' Carl didn't look at him, just tried to be casual about it. 

Daryl glanced over at Carl and heard Rick's voice in his head, it was a definite no.

''One step at a time. We'll use the camping burner today, maybe I'll teach ya next time.''

''We can do this again?'' Carl sounded excited and didn't even care that he wasn't allowed to learn how to make a fire. 

''Sure,'' Daryl shrugged his shoulders then added, ''We can ask yer Dad.''

''Come on, you practically are my Dad now,'' Carl bounced and walked backwards as he spoke. 

''Don't push it,'' Daryl laughed and shook his head as he reached out to steady Carl as he almost stumbled backwards. 

They came to the clearing where Carl had practised with the crossbow. Daryl slung it off his shoulder, reloaded it ready for Carl to use again after food, propped it against the tree and took the small camping stove from his bag. He set it down and took out a tin of sausages and beans. Not exactly gourmet, but it would do.

Carl joined him and they sat in comfortable silence as Daryl got the tin open and heating. He stirred it occasionally and enjoyed the moment of quiet. He started thinking of Rick, which had happened often throughout the day. While Carl was setting traps, once he had been taught how, Daryl had picked up a few stones that had caught his eye. He rummaged in a pocket and pulled them out.

''What ya got there?'' Carl asked.

''Huh?'' Daryl had almost forgotten Carl was there, he had drifted off into his thoughts, ''Just some stones I found.''

''They look cool.''

''Yeah?'' Daryl thought he was the only one who liked stones.

Daryl had collected stones when he was younger. It amazed him how they could come in so many colours, shapes and sizes. Some were rough or sharp and some were smooth and flat. It would fascinate him.

''Yeah, I mean they're just stones right, but those ones are smooth and that one,'' Carl pointed to a black one, ''It's shiny. How do rocks round here, in amongst the trees, even get like that?''

Daryl handed Carl the shiny black stone and rolled the other three around in his palm looking thoughtful. He planned on giving one to Rick, but the more he thought about it the more ridiculous it seemed. 

''Keep it,'' Daryl motioned to the stone in Carl's hand.

''Really?'' Carl beamed, ''Thanks, man.''

''Carl?'' Daryl practically whispered. 

Carl looked up and saw Daryl with his head slightly bowed, he looked through his hair at him with a slight flush to his cheeks before lowering his gaze again. 

''Wha's up?'' Carl sounded concerned.

''This is gonna sound stupid, but I... I wanna give one o' these to yer Dad. D'ya think he'll like it? Ya know, as a gift.''

''Daryl, he’d love it and he’d love it even more because it came from you. He kinda treasures all those tools you bought him back.''

Daryl glanced up through his hair to try and judge Carl's reaction. He looked back down at the stones. One was red in colour with rough edges, one was smooth and slightly green tinged with a strange hole towards one end, the last was unusually round and had a mixture of browns and greys swirling through it almost like a marble or a planet. 

''Which one?'' He mused aloud.

''The one with the hole in, that way you can put some cord or somethin' through it an' turn it into a necklace.''

Daryl looked up properly then and smiled, ''Like I said, smartass.'' 

He discarded the other two stones and turned the one with the hole through it over in his palm. It was quite flat and not too heavy, it would make a perfect necklace with the natural hole at one end. He had some black leather cord he used to tie his kills together. He pulled it out of his pocket and cut a length with his knife. 

He tied off the cord and held up the finished necklace.

''See, it's perfect. He'll love it.''

''You know, I still can't believe how well yer takin' this. I mean me and yer Dad. Even helpin' me pick out gifts now,'' Daryl chuckled.

''As long as he’s happy and you’re happy, tha's all that matters right?''

''Seriously, when d’you get so grown up.''

Daryl stirred the beans again and deemed them ready. He put half the can in a metal bowl and handed it to Carl with a spoon. He was glad the food ended that conversation and Carl didn't press it any further, he seemed to get the point. He wasn't good at talking about serious stuff. He shovelled the food in straight from the can. His stomach was doing little flips at the thought of giving Rick his gift.

-

Rick climbed the tower to store his supplies for his shift that night. He had a few hours to get everything sorted. Daryl would be back before dark which gave him plenty of time to set it up then meet them at the gate. 

He imagined Carl bouncing around and excited, telling stories of his hunting trip with Daryl. He smiled to himself at how happy he was that Carl was okay with their relationship, more than okay it seemed. 

Michonne was on watch as he got up there. She glanced over briefly before turning back.

''What you doin' up here so early? Still don't trust me?'' She smirked as she spoke.

Rick shook his head and placed the blanket and candles in the corner. 

''Just droppin' some supplies off fer tonight's shift.''

''A blanket, huh? Don't think it's gonna get that cold, Rick,'' She gave him a knowing look. 

Rick ignored her and turned to leave. 

''Rick...''

''Yeah?''

''You sure you know what yer doin'? I mean, don't get me wrong, you two are great together... it's just, if it don't work out... we gonna end up losin' two strong leaders of this group. Look how you reacted when… when… you know-''

''This group, Michonne, is my family. If anythang happens it won't affect them. Daryl and I ain't stupid, we know what's at stake. S'why we haven't told no one yet,'' Rick sighed loudly and felt himself getting angry, ''Not that there's many people that don't seem ta know already.''

''Hey, it's my family too now and I'm just trying to look out for them. I get it though, when you fall in love with someone like that, nothing else matters. You're lucky that yer love is returned,'' Michonne gave Rick a sad smile. 

Rick walked over and stood next to Michonne and brushed her shoulder with his, ''She made her choice.''

''I know, but it still hurts.'' 

She hadn't spoken to anyone about her feelings for Andrea before. She wasn't even sure how Rick knew, she guessed the same way she just knew about him and Daryl. 

''You deserve happiness, Rick. I hope yer little cosy night in goes well,'' She gave him a genuine smile.

Rick smiled back.

‘’I don’t know what’s happenin’ between us, but I know it feels right. I need to give it a try, to make Daryl happy. I want more than anything to make him happy.’’

‘’I seen how he looks at you and how you look at him. Sometimes I just wanted to bash yer bleedin’ heads together.’’

‘’You ain’t the first person to say that, it seems everyone knew before we did or before I did. But I’m hopin’ to make up for lost time. Tonight, I want to make it special. A date, you know, like…’’ Rick glanced over at Michonne and realised he was talking a lot, ‘’Anyway I’m going to… err... go sort the food before they get back.’’

‘’Sure thing, loverboy.’’ 

Rick laughed and left as quickly as he could. He had his reservations about Michonne but she was growing on him. He found it so easy to talk to her and that worried him, he was usually so wary and found it difficult to trust anyone in this new world. He needed to be cautious. 

Now he just needed to figure out how to pass the time while he waited for Daryl and Carl to get back. He had both excited and nervous butterflies floating around in his stomach. He decided to go and see Beth and Judith before picking up the food. 

He always enjoyed putting his daughter to bed and holding her in his arms. He would rock her gently until she dozed off, then he would take her to Beth’s cell where they had made a cot for her. He was so grateful for Beth who had practically become her surrogate mother.


	12. Chapter 12

‘’Ahhh! Daryl!’’ Carl screamed.

Daryl felt the colour drain from his face at the shriek in Carl’s voice, he ran in the direction it had come from, knife unsheathed and raised at the ready. He had given Carl the crossbow to carry after much whining and stropping so the knife was his only option. Then Carl had rushed off to check on the traps they had set, his food had barely gone down. 

Daryl had been a few steps behind, following at a more leisurely pace until he heard the scream.

‘’Daryl! We got one! Look, we got a rabbit!’’ Carl was waving his arms around and shouting in his excitement. 

Daryl felt instant relief that Carl was okay, his mind had gone to the worst case scenario and he was picturing himself stood explaining to a distraught Rick how he had let Carl out of his sight and Carl had ended up as dinner for the walkers. He let out a big sigh, not realising he had been holding his breath.

‘’Carl, that’s great but you gotta keep ya voice down. It ain’t safe out here to be shoutin’ like that, we need ta be careful. Sound attracts them.’’

Carl put his hands over his mouth and mumbled, ‘’Sorry.’’

Daryl crouched down and released the catch on the trap. He felt bad for the kid, it was his first hunt and he was excited, but you couldn’t be too careful out here. He caught the rabbit and quickly snapped its neck, trying to keep it out of Carl’s line of sight, before handing it over to him. 

‘’Well done, your first catch. Need ta gut it and clean it out as soon as possible before it starts ta go bad. It’s gonna get dark soon though so I’ll show ya how back at the prison. Come on, let’s call it a day.’’ 

Daryl took a cautious look around before taking a length of cord from his pocket, the same leather he had used for Rick’s necklace. He smiled to himself as he tied the rabbit to one of the belt hoops on Carl’s trousers.

‘’You’ll really show me?’’ Carl said as he looked down at the rabbit hanging from his hip, he moved from side to side slightly and watched it morbidly swing back and forth.

Daryl could hear the excitement in his voice and it reminded him of how excited he had been when he had caught his first rabbit. 

‘’It’s not pretty, gotta have a strong stomach. Lot’s’a blood an’ guts.’’

‘’I can handle it,’’ Carl puffed his chest out and straightened, slinging the crossbow further over his shoulder.

‘’Can ya now? Well, we’ll see about that,’’ Daryl moved and placed a hand on Carl’s back, ‘’Now let’s get our stuff together an’ on head back...’’

Daryl stopped mid sentence when he heard the snapping of a twig off in the distance. He held up his hand to silence Carl’s questions that he knew were coming. He motioned for him to start moving back towards their makeshift camp and gave him a little shove in that direction. 

Carl didn’t question him, he just turned and ran in the direction of their camp, keeping his footfalls as light as he possibly could.

Another twig snapping could be heard, this one closer. 

Daryl instantly flared out his senses trying to pinpoint the exact location and whether it was a threat or not, it didn’t sound like an animal. The sound got closer and then he heard the inevitable groaning and shuffling behind him. He spun and took out the walker with a knife through the neck. He was sprinting towards Carl and the camp before the body even hit the floor.

He heard Carl scream his name moments before he saw him. There were five walkers surrounding him, steadily getting closer, and he could hear plenty more on their way. He ran at the two closest to him, stuck his knife through the top of a skull. It went in easily. Using his momentum he pulled the knife free and twisted, turning to face the decomposing blonde now in front of him. 

He quickly brought the knife up penetrating under the jaw, the force of it had the tip of the knife poking out of the back of its head. As he tore the blade free he was aware of the three walkers nearing Carl. He managed to push him back and place himself in front of Carl who had frozen in place. 

Carl felt lost without a gun and there were so many of them and it was his fault they were here and he couldn't get his legs or brain to work. He became aware of Daryl’s presence and then his voice broke through the fog.

‘’Carl, get to the car and lock yerself in. I’ll come get you once it's safe,’’ Daryl didn’t want to have to worry about protecting Carl as well as taking care of the walkers, ‘’Carl! Go!’’

Carl snapped out of his daze and said, ‘’I can help...’’

Daryl didn’t have time to argue with a stubborn as Hell teenager.

The walkers might only be able to shuffle along but they could smell food and it sent them into a determined frenzy. One of the three was dragging itself along the floor at an alarming pace, its legs were mostly skin and bone unable to hold its weight any longer. He threw his knife with deadly accuracy, it hit its target and stopped the walker in its tracks with a gurgle. 

He ran towards it and grabbed the knife from its skull as he shot past the motionless body towards the last two. He raised the blade above his head, brought it down and with a sickening pop he pushed the blade into the eye socket of a jock who had seen better days. Although deformed and disfigured from decomposing the thing was still heavy as the body fell forward. 

Daryl stumbled back as he tried to push the dead weight away from him. He wrestled to free his knife and felt a hand grab at his shoulder. He ducked and spun away from the hungry walker, but as he did he felt a sharp pain shoot through his leg which had him falling in a heap on the floor. The jock cushioned his fall slightly, but made the landing awkward. 

He didn’t have time to dwell on the pain or the screaming he could hear in the back of his mind. He couldn’t be sure if they were his own screams or Carl’s. Instead he instinctively raised his knife as the last walker came crashing down on top of him, jaws snapping. One hand wrapped around the scrawny neck in an attempt to hold the head away from his face while the other brought the knife through its temple, once, twice, and the third crushing the softened skull.

He was covered in walker blood and brains, his breathing was heavy as he tried to take stock of his body and where the pain was coming from and what had caused it. He pushed the walker off of him and tried to stand up, his priority was to get Carl to safety. He instantly stumbled and fell back to the ground with a thud. 

Carl rushed to Daryl’s side. He had tears in his eyes and he was repeatedly apologising. 

‘’Shit Daryl, I thought… Oh God, I was trying to help! I’m so sorry… sorry… I’m sorry.’’

‘’Carl, slow down,’’ He had no idea what the kid was apologising for, the pain was making his head swim, ‘’We need ta get you outta here. There's more comin’.’’

‘’...but your leg!’’

Daryl looked down to see a crossbow bolt protruding from his left inner thigh muscle. It had gone clean through. He briefly thought how lucky he had been that it hadn’t hit the bone or nicked an artery. There was blood, but not enough to worry about at the moment. He needed to get Carl in the car and back to the prison. 

-

‘’Hey, how’s it going? Almost ready?’’

‘’My, you are impatient,’’ Carol smiled over at Rick who was standing in the doorway.

‘’To be honest, I’m a little on edge. They haven’t made it back yet and it will be dark real soon. I’ve put Judith ta bed and now I’ve run outta distractions,’’ He smiled weakly.

‘’You know how Carl gets. He's probably havin’ too much fun and makin’ Daryl’s life hell out there. He can sure throw a strop when he wants somethin’ bad enough. Daryl won’t let nothin’ happen to him,’’ Carol reassured.

‘’Yeah, ya right,’’ Rick sighed and leaned against the door frame, ‘’Smells good.’’

Carol smiled over at him with a sideways glance, ‘’It’s almost ready.’’

‘’What did ya make?’’

‘’I decided on spaghetti. Somethin’ hearty and fillin’... ya know… keep yer energy up,’’ Carol wiggled her eyebrows at Rick.

‘’It ain’t like that,’’ Rick couldn’t help but laugh. 

He then remembered his conversation with Maggie and the lube and condoms which now seemed so obvious in his pocket. He felt his face flush. He should have somehow left them back in the watchtower with the blanket and candles, but Michonne would have seen then. 

‘’Daryl, he likes pasta,’’ Carol added when she could see how uncomfortable Rick was getting, ‘’Nothin’ special fer dessert though.’’ 

Carol gave the sauce one more stir before heading to a cupboard and pulling out two chocolate pudding pots. She gave them a little shake and placed them at the edge of the counter closest to Rick. 

‘’Not exactly easy ta come buy fresh ingredients fer a cake so pudding it is...’’

Carol looked genuinely disappointed with her offering.

‘’Carol it's great, honestly, thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you.’’

Carol smiled again.

''Let me get you some plates and I'll box this pasta up. S'almost time for yer shift.''

''I know... where are they?''

-

Daryl took the crossbow from Carl and used it to prop himself up into a sitting position. He looked around briefly in the hopes of finding a long stick or something to support himself with so he could walk. Of course there was nothing, that would have been too easy. 

‘’Get round here on ma left side. Hold steady,’’ Daryl instructed.

Carl used all of his strength to pull Daryl up. Once he was standing he swayed slightly. Carl wrapped an arm around his waist and with his free hand he held onto the arm draped over his shoulder. 

‘’The car isn’t far, come on, you can make it,’’ Carl hoped more than believed.

Daryl took one step and the pain almost sent him crashing back to the ground. He groaned and stopped moving to try and keep his head from spinning. He needed to get the bolt out of his leg. Trying to walk was making it move inside the muscle, probably doing even more damage. 

‘’Wait, I need ta get this out.’’

Carl lowered Daryl to the ground and crouched beside him, ‘’What d’you need?’’

‘’Some whiskey wouldn’t go amiss right about now,’’ He chuckled, he always joked around when he was feeling like shit. 

‘’Daryl...’’

‘’Hey,’’ Daryl looked up at Carl who still had tears in his eyes, ‘’S’okay, I’ve had worse. This ain’t nothin’,’’ He gave a strained smile which may have looked more like a grimace. 

Daryl angled the bolt against the floor and as he took a deep breath in, using the weight of his leg, he pushed it further into the muscle so more of it was protruding out the other side. He stifled a scream that was ready to burst from him, he didn’t want to scare the kid even more. 

Breathing heavily, he grabbed the dirty red bandana he kept in his back pocket and wrapped it around the sharp point of the bolt. 

‘’Grab me that twig over there.’’

Carl scrabbled around, no clue what twig Daryl meant, but wanting to be helpful. He picked up what he thought looked like a good twig and handed it to Daryl who seemed pleased with his choice, he let out a sigh of relief. He was fast beginning to realise he wasn’t cut out for this outdoors stuff. 

Daryl cursed himself for making the bolts so the tips were affixed to the shaft. He didn't have any of the original ones left, which just unscrewed, that would have made this so much easier. 

Daryl put the twig length ways in his mouth and bit down on it. He took another deep breath, grasped the tip of the bolt and snapped off the end. The force it took to snap it had blood oozing from the opening. He watched vaguely as deep red seeped into his trousers, spreading into a larger circle around the wound. He felt his vision blur again and he swayed a little.

‘’Daryl...‘’ Carl almost shouted but caught himself as he remembered he must be quite. 

Daryl wanted to answer but he couldn’t seem to focus. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly to try and ride out the wave of pain. He took a few deep, steadying breaths and then opened his eyes again. The world slowly came back into focus, but the pain was still ever present. 

Carl put a hand on Daryl’s shoulder and squeezed. He was trying for reassurance, but felt nothing but terrified. Daryl looked so pale and he could hear the shuffling of feet getting closer. They didn't have much time. He wanted to cry and scream but he knew that wouldn't help. Instead he sat beside Daryl and silently hated himself for getting so excited about the rabbit which had attracted the walkers and even more for thinking he could help.

‘’I need ta pull this thing out from the back. Means I need ta stand up an' get to that tree,’’ Daryl sounded barely there as he spoke. 

He was aware of the walkers drawing nearer. He needed this thing out of his leg so he could get Carl back to the car. 

‘’Put yer arm around ma shoulder.’’

Carl huffed out a breath as he took Daryl’s weight, trying to help lift him again. 

Once Daryl was on his feet he slowly shuffled to the nearest tree which was only a few feet away. It was the longest few feet of his life. Each step sent a wave of pain through his leg which radiated throughout his entire body. He silently cursed himself for giving in to Carl’s strop and letting him carry the crossbow, the loaded crossbow. 

They made it to the tree and he instantly leaned all his weight against it. He was practically hugging the tree and had his face pressed against it. He felt sweat pouring from him and he was gulping in air like he had just run a marathon, rather than shuffling a few feet.

With one hand steadying himself on the tree and all his weight on his right leg he clutched at the bolt protruding from the back of his thigh. He glanced at Carl briefly who looked as white as a sheet. He didn't know who looked worse, him or the boy.

He took a few quick breaths in preparation before putting the twig back between his teeth. He tightened his grip on the bolt and pulled. Self-preservation and the intense pain meant he only managed to pull it a few inches. It was enough to cause blood to spurt from the wound. It pulsed and oozed out, soaking into his trousers even more. 

He was losing too much blood. He was no doctor and he worried that maybe the bolt had sliced through something important in there. If he pulled it out now and couldn’t stop the blood flow he could bleed out. That wasn’t going to help Carl get back to the prison. 

He spat the twig out and fastened the bandana around his leg tighter to try and stop the bleeding as much as possible. He glanced around again in the hopes of spotting something to aid him. He shook his head and briefly rested his forehead on the tree.

‘’Daryl?’’ Carl sounded unsure of what to do. 

‘’Can’t risk pullin’ it out, too much blood.’’

‘’Okay, so what now? I can hear them comin’, Daryl.’’

Daryl brought his head up and listened closely. There must have been at least half a dozen more walkers on their way. They probably had about ten minutes before they came dragging themselves through the treeline. 

Daryl turned and slid down the tree. He wasn’t getting out of here any time soon and he would only hold Carl back, he made his decision.

‘’Take this knife,’’ He pulled the blade from its sheath and handed it handle first to Carl, ‘’There’s a gun in the glovebox of tha car.’’

‘’But what about you?’’

‘’I ain’t gonna make it far without drawin' the walkers to us. The smell o’ ma blood’s probably drivin’ ‘em crazy. Here... keys,’’ He reached into his back pocket and produced a set of car keys.

‘’I can’t do this on my own.’’

‘’Yes, Carl, ya can and you will. Only use the gun if it's absolutely necessary. If I stay it'll give you a head start, they will be drawn ta me an’ away from you,’’ He glanced down at the blood soaked bandana.

‘’Shit, shit, shit,’’ Carl paced back and forth before coming to a stop in front of Daryl, ‘’So I get to the car, then what? I can’t even drive!’’

‘’We ain’t that far from the prison, jus’ follow the road in the opposite direction to the car fer about twenty minutes and you’ll see the prison in the distance. Keep to tha trees an’ if you see anyone, livin’ or dead, you run an’ hide. Ya hear me? You run an’ hide,’’ Daryl stared into Carl’s frightened eyes.

Carl nodded but had no words, he felt close to tears. 

‘’I’m gonna jus’ be fine, now go,’’ Daryl motioned with his head in the direction of the car. 

Carl hesitated before turning and running.

Daryl watched as Carl disappeared into the treeline. He pressed his head back against the tree, closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the walkers drawing nearer. 

-

Rick frantically paced the watch tower. It was completely dark out now, it was well and truly night time and he had no idea why Daryl and Carl weren't back yet. Even Carl throwing an epic strop wouldn't make Daryl keep him out this late. He knew the dangers, he wasn't stupid. 

That could mean only one thing, something terrible had happened. Rick's heart thudded in his chest and his stomach was twisted in knots. He had no idea where they had gone and going out to look for them in the dark was a suicide mission. Daryl was the tracker and Rick had tried to learn, but only managed to pick up a few things. 

All he could do was wait until first light. Then he would gather a team and search for them, but how on earth was he going to make it through the night? A feeling of dread weighed heavy in the air. 

Rick stared over at the romantic candle lit dinner, all set out with food ready to be served up when Daryl got back. It was going cold now and the candles were almost burnt out. He leaned down and blew them out with a sigh and turned back to watch the gate. 

He wasn't sure how long he had stood there staring off towards the gate, his eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness without the candle light, and he was sure he could see movement. Not two people, but one. A small figure running towards the gate at speed.

Rick's heart leapt into his throat and he felt instantly nauseous. Carl!

Carl crashed into the gate and bashed his hands onto it repeatedly, uncaring of any unwanted attention he was drawing. All he cared about was getting someone inside to hear him so they could go and help Daryl. It was all his fault, the walkers and the bolt in Daryl's leg. Maybe he was just stupid kid, he couldn't be trusted. 

''Carl!'' Rick shouted, accent thick.

Carl looked towards the tower where his Dad's voice had come from and started waving his arms around.

''Dad! God, Dad, open the gate!''

No one manned the gate at night because generally no one came or went at night. Rick made quick work of the tower and ran to open the gate. He was constantly scanning the area for walkers, eyes darting in every direction, hand poised over his gun. He was also hoping to see another figure with his son.

He had the gate opened and closed in record time. He fell to one knee and caught his son who ran into his arms with tears streaming down his face. 

''Dad... Daryl... I... he...'' Carl tried to speak through his sobs.

''Carl, it's okay, just breathe,'' Rick tried to sound calm but he wanted to shake Carl to get the words out faster.

Dread pooled and spread through him. He couldn't do this without Daryl. He hadn't got to tell him all the things he wanted to say. He hadn't kissed him enough or loved him enough, he needed more time, wanted more time. 

Carl gulped in air and tried to get his tears under control. As he heard people approaching he stepped out of his father's embrace. He wiped at his tear stained face and squared his shoulders. What would Daryl do? He tried to imagine himself as brave and strong as Daryl. 

Carol, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie, all in full gear, came jogging over to them. They must have heard the commotion and readied their weapons before heading out. They looked to Rick, waiting for instruction, he was still their leader in all of their minds. 

''Carl...'' Rick slowly stood but didn't move any closer, instead he asked, ''Daryl, is he...?'' Rick's voice broke and he couldn't finish the sentence. 

Carol put a hand to her mouth to stifle the soft groan that escaped.

''No… no- he... I'm so sorry,'' Carl almost broke down again, but held it together and carried on, ''He needs our help though. Now!''

Rick felt his legs almost give out underneath him. Daryl was alive.

''Can you tell me his location?'' Rick said once he could get his voice to work.

''No, but I can show you,'' Carl's voice was determined. 

Rick didn't have time to argue.

''Michonne, ready a car. Carol, get the gate.'' 

Michonne and Carol were both gone before he turned to issue instructions to Glenn and Maggie, ''Ride in back with Carl. I don't want any more casualties tonight.''

With that they all moved to the car, Rick riding shotgun and Michonne behind the wheel. Carl was sandwiched between Glenn and Maggie. Carl didn't argue, he just wanted to get Daryl back. Glenn took the gun from Carl and passed it forward to Rick along with the knife. Rick accepted them and set his mind on the task ahead. 

This was what the world was like now and he thrived in it, he could hear his blood pumping loud in his ears and feel his senses getting sharper. He was a fool to think he could settle down and be a farmer or have romantic candle lit dinners. This is who he was. 

-

Daryl must have blacked out because he was jolted awake by a twig snapping a few feet away. He felt the heavy and reassuring weight of the crossbow in his arms, automatically he raised it and fired, nothing. It wasn’t loaded. He glanced down at the bolt still sticking out of his thigh and sighed. 

Everything seemed to move in slow motion, everything except the walker that was gaining ground rather rapidly. He noticed three more breaking the tree line, coming from the opposite direction from which Carl had left. He wasn’t entirely sure how long ago that had been, but it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. 

He pulled out a bolt and stuck his good foot through the stirrup, loading a crossbow sitting down wasn’t going to be easy, but it was the only option he had right now. He had loaded the thing so many times he was pretty sure he could do it blindfolded, but the strength it took to pull the string back had his muscles tensing and tightening under the strain. 

His leg pulsed with the effort and a little more blood spilled out, soaking further into his trousers. The blood looked like it was getting sticky, some had started to dry on his trousers. His body was trying to heal the wound, close the hole, but the bolt was still wedged in there. He ignored the pain and tired to focus.

He raised the loaded crossbow and fired off a shot hitting the walker dead centre of its forehead with ease. It fell and crumpled in a heap. It barely had any muscle left on its bones and the clothes were mere scraps of material. Its skull and jaw could be seen through the translucent, peeling skin. 

Daryl didn’t have time to dwell on it though as the three new walkers made their way eerily slowly towards him. He pulled another bolt free, holding it between his teeth, he began drawing the string back once more. He felt fatigued, it took longer to load this time, his arms were feeling the strain.

Daryl shakily raised the bow, held it steady and took a breath, he fired and another walker fell. This one fell backwards with the impact, taking the one behind it down with it. It seemed unfazed however in its determination to get to Daryl, it just doubled its efforts and began dragging itself forward along with the fallen walker on top of it.

Daryl was briefly mesmerised by the sight in front of him. The weight of the walker with an arrow clean through its skull was slowly pulling the skin from the lower body of the determined walker underneath it. The more it pulled itself in Daryl's direction the more the skin peeled and grotesquely slid away, almost like a pair of tight trousers. 

He was shaken from the gruesome sight when a low moan rumbled a few feet away, the pain was dulling his senses. There was no time to reload, this one was too close. He pulled the last bolt free and grasped it tightly in his hand. The walker fell to the floor mere inches from him, it grabbed at Daryl's ankle and began pulling itself up towards his open wound.

The walker's jaw opened wide and as its head lowered to Daryl's thigh he took the bolt and shoved it hard into the walker's open mouth, angling upwards into its brain. There was a strange gurgling sound then it collapsed on his injured leg. Daryl huffed out a moan and briefly closed his eyes, the pain causing the world to spin.

He didn't have time to get the rotting corpse off of him, he needed to reload. The last walker had freed himself and was dragging itself ever closer. Daryl had a strong stomach, but even he felt nauseous at the sight of the thing clawing its way towards him with no skin on its lower half. 

He barely had the energy left to reload, but once he finally got the string in place he pulled the bolt from the fallen walker draped across his lap and wearily raised the bow. With deadly accuracy he sent the bolt straight through the undead's eye socket. The scene in front of him told a gruesome story. 

It was eerily silent, which could be a good sign. He hoped it meant there were no more walkers on their way because he felt his vision blurring and his muscles becoming heavy. He let the crossbow fall, unable to hold the weight of it any longer.

It was getting darker, both outside and inside his mind. He rested his head back on the tree and tried to think of Rick and not the walker pressing heavy on his injured leg. He conjured up the image of him working on his farm and the glisten of his dirty, sweat slick skin. 

He hadn't got to tell Rick how much he meant to him, but he felt content in the knowledge that his fantasy was a reality now. He and Rick had something. He smiled to himself as the world around him faded away.


	13. Chapter 13

''Hey,'' Maggie placed a hand gently on Carl's leg, ''you ready to tell us what happened?''

Carl fidgeted in his seat and glanced across at Maggie slowly nodding his head.

''What’re we dealin' with when we get there? How bad is he?'' Maggie kept her voice soft and it croaked a little to join her runny nose, she removed her hand from Carl's leg bringing it to her mouth to clear her throat.

Rick tried to stop the panic he felt from taking over. It had been at least an hour since Carl had left Daryl. He desperately tried to blink away nightmarish images flashing in his mind. Daryl would be fine. He tapped out a nervous rhythm on his knee as he waited to hear Carl's story.

''It just went so wrong and it was all my fault!'' The words burst from him.

''Ain't no use blamin' yerself,'' Maggie soothed.

Carl took a deep shuddering breath and leaned forward, ''Keep to the road until you come to a pickup abandoned to the right.''

Michonne gave a quick nod but made no further contribution, wanting to hear if Daryl was okay as much as everyone else did.

''I ran ahead to check on some traps we'd set,'' Carl spoke with his head down and eyes covered by the hat he wore, ''I saw a rabbit in a trap and... I called out. Daryl caught up with me, told me to be quiet, but it was already too late.''

Rick didn't like where this story was going, he knew it didn't have a happy ending so he held back his groan at Carl's foolishness and waited for him to continue. 

''They came... the walkers. Daryl made me go back to camp, but there were more walkers there too. I didn't have a gun an' I just... I just froze. Then he was there in front of me. He made it look so easy, all he had was a knife. He told me to run but I stayed, wanted to help. I still had the crossbow,'' Carl paused and took a breath, he didn't want to tell the rest of the story.

''It's okay...'' Maggie began.

''What happened to Daryl?'' Rick tried to keep his voice low and gentle, but failed miserably.

''I'm sorry, I just wanted to help,'' Carl's voice broke.

Rick turned in his seat to face his son, ''Carl, I didn't mean to sound... I just need to know... how bad is it?''

''They were everywhere, one was on Daryl. I thought I could do it... the crossbow... I'd been practising. I ended up getting Daryl instead. He carried on like it was nothin' at first...'' 

Rick could hear the awe in Carl's voice just barely over the roaring in his ears. If it was anyone else he would have had them by the throat by now. 

''Where did he get hit?'' Maggie was trying to be patient and let Carl tell his story, but she just wanted to know how best to help Daryl when she got there. 

''Leg, at the top on the inside. It was stickin' out both sides. He tried ta pull it out but there was just so much blood.''

''How was he when you left?'' Rick felt sick.

''I didn't wanna leave,'' Carl's voice was small, ''He was sat against a tree with the crossbow. He gave me the knife an' told me how ta get back... he's gonna be okay, right?''

''Daryl's a fighter. We'll find him, patch him up and he'll be good as new,'' Glenn spoke for the first time, he sounded more confident than he felt. 

''Pickups on the right,'' Michonne said.

''Pull over just off the road. Daryl said it's best ta hide the car an' go on foot from here.''

''How far?'' Rick didn't want any further casualties.

''Ten minutes.''

Rick opened the door as Michonne brought the car to a stop. The moon was full in the night's sky which gave off just enough light to see by. They would move slowly and stick together. Rick up front with Carl, and Michonne at the back. 

''Okay, everyone out. Michonne follow on. Maggie, grab what kit you need. Keep close and no guns, it's too risky at night. We can't afford any mistakes.''

He saw Carl flinch at his words. He hadn't intended them to be aimed at him. He slung his arm around his son's shoulder and pulled him close.

''This ain't on you, okay? This ain’t on you, Carl. I should never have let you go. It's not a game out here. I got too... comfortable.''

Carl tried to protest, but Rick just started walking into the trees. Carl rushed to keep up and pointed him in the direction of where he had left Daryl against the tree.

-

There were fallen walkers scattered about, each had a gruesome wound somewhere on their head, as they made their way to Daryl. Rick followed Carl's lead but stayed a step ahead of him. They moved as quietly as they could through the trees. He knew though that, if Daryl was still conscious, he would hear them coming. 

''...He took them all out with just his knife. You should'a seen him, Dad. Even with the bolt through his leg,'' Carl started moving his arms and jumped as he walked, ''Right through the eye, then he stuck the knife in the other one's head...''

''Carl...'' Rick raised one finger to his lips to indicate silence, Daryl would definitely hear them coming along with the rest of the walkers out here. 

Carl stopped mimicking Daryl's movements and fell into step with his father again. 

Maggie chuckled at the scene in front of her, she raised a hand to her mouth and coughed to hide her laughter. Maggie adjusted the bag of medical supplies on her shoulder when Glenn nudged her in the ribs, but he was struggling to hide his own smile. Michonne rolled her eyes at the whole thing, but also hid a secret smile. She continued to scan the area at the rear of the group.

''Over there,'' Carl whispered and pointed.

Rick turned to the others, silently signalling for them to watch Carl and keep an eye out. With his heart in his throat he broke into a jog in the direction Carl had pointed towards. In the dim light of the moon he could make out a figure slumped against a tree. Daryl! His stomach hit the floor when he saw a walker sprawled across Daryl's lower half. 

Rick sprinted, closing the gap, then fell to his knees skidding to a stop by Daryl's side. He rolled the walker off of Daryl's legs and gasped when he saw all of the blood and the bolt protruding from his thigh with the end snapped off. 

He needed to check for bite marks, he was sure Daryl was still breathing, but he felt all at once overwhelmed by the sight.

''Fuck...'' Rick closed his eyes.

''Not in front of everyone,'' Daryl joked and tried for a chuckle, the fog began to clear as he fully regained consciousness.

Rick's eyes sprang open and locked with Daryl's half closed ones. 

''Hey,'' Rick's voice was low and gravelly.

''Hey,'' Daryl responded without breaking eye contact. 

The stare was so intense and said a thousand words that neither could vocalise. Need overrode brain function and without further thought Rick closed the gap between them and brought their lips together. 

He intended for the kiss to be gentle, but Daryl reached a hand behind his neck pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He instantly felt heat spread through him and his surroundings fell away, all he could think and feel was Daryl.

Rick leaned into the kiss pressing Daryl hard against the tree. Daryl groaned, which sounded like a mixture of pain and pleasure. Rick tried to pull back, not wanting to hurt Daryl, but the hand behind his neck tightened making Rick fall further into the kiss. He wanted so much to crawl onto his lap and show Daryl exactly how worried he had been.

''Uhum,'' Michonne made an exaggerated coughing sound.

Rick pulled back instantly, snapping back to reality and realising he had just kissed Daryl in front of everyone. In front of his son. He groaned and made to stand but the hand around the back of his neck didn't budge, just held him in place. Daryl's eyes stared intently at him through his messy hair.

Rick returned the gaze and brought the back of his hand up to stroke over Daryl's blood stained cheek lightly. He tried to project all his feelings through his eyes and that light touch. He slowly leaned in once more and placed a chaste kiss on Daryl's lips before moving to stand. This time the hand holding him fell away, he felt the loss immediately. 

Rick stood, hands on hips, and took a deep breath before facing everyone who had obviously witnessed the show. Michonne smirked at him then moved away to walk the perimeter, arms loose and ready to unsheathe the katana at any sign of movement. 

He noticed Carl next who wore a goofy grin on his face. It wasn't what he had expected. It was one thing for his son to know about his and Daryl's relationship, but another to actually see his father kiss another man. He didn't know what to say so he just turned his attention to Maggie, he would deal with that conversation later.

''It's bad, Maggie.''

''Didn't look so bad from where I was standin','' She said with one eyebrow raised and a smile on her face.

Both Glenn and Carl let out a giggle of laughter, but instantly tried to stifle it with a hand to their mouths. 

''Err, you guys, if yer about done... I'm kinda bleeding over here,'' Daryl said as he felt Rick's unease and wanted to divert the attention away from him.

All eyes were now on Daryl. Glenn pulled the legs of the walker closest to Daryl and dragged it out of the way. Maggie instantly moved to his side and placed the medical supplies next to her. Her dad had taught her a few things, but she instantly felt out of her depth as she stared at the bolt protruding from Daryl's blood soaked trousers.

''I'm gonna have ta cut yer trousers so I can get to the wound,'' she sounded sure of herself and confident when really she felt queasy and uneasy.

Glenn stepped up behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed. Of course Glenn would see through to how she was really feeling. She glanced up at him and smiled, communicating her gratitude before he moved away again.

''Do what you gotta do,'' Daryl spoke to Maggie, but his eyes were on Rick.

He had thought he was a goner for sure this time. When he felt the world go black he didn't know if he would be waking up again at all or if he would be awoken by a walker taking chunks out of him. The last thing he expected was to stir to the sounds of his group trudging through the trees, they probably thought they were being quiet.

Rick stared right back. He felt that even if he blinked he would wake up and Daryl would be gone. They were more than lucky to have found him and especially to have found him alive out here at night. The wound on his leg should have been enough to draw all the walkers within a mile to him. 

Maggie pulled scissors from the bag and began cutting away Daryl's trousers, leaving the bandana in place above the wound. She was looking for bites as she went. Once the material was cut away she got a good look at the hole created by the bolt. It looked a lot cleaner than she thought it would be.

Daryl was grateful that Maggie hadn't removed the bandana. He didn't want everyone staring at the self-inflicted cuts on his inner thigh as well as the bolt sticking out a little lower down.

''It's quite clean, I guess from all the bleedin','' Maggie spoke as she pulled gloves, swabs and antiseptic wipes from her bag, ''You probably blacked out due to blood loss and the pain. This must hurt like hell. The bolts gonna have ta stay in there though ‘til we get you back. I ain't equipped ta deal with pullin' this thing out here.''

Maggie always found it helped to talk as she worked. It took the edge off of her nerves, even back at the farm when she would help her dad with the animals. She cleaned as much of the thick and dried blood away as she could from the front and back of the wound. 

She felt Daryl tense as she used the antiseptic wipes. She thought he was holding up really well, barely making a sound. She admired Daryl's strength. After cleaning it she would bind it as best she could to prevent further damage, keep it as clean as possible and to help stop the blood flow. 

Michonne came through the trees and announced, ''We're gonna have company soon.''

Rick pulled his eyes away from Daryl's and asked, ''How long?''

''Ten, maybe fifteen, minutes.''

''Maggie, you got five,'' Rick said and saw Maggie nod.

Rick glanced back at Daryl briefly, more for himself than anything, before he started looking around for anything that could help move Daryl. The last thing he wanted was the walkers getting between them and the car, they needed to move fast. Glenn caught on and started walking through the trees closest to them looking to the ground. 

Carl stood entranced by Maggie's fingers moving over Daryl's leg, wrapping a binding around and around. He had done this. He glanced over at the crossbow at Daryl's side and couldn't take his eyes away from it. He jumped when he felt a hand settle on his shoulder. 

''Why don't ya collect up the used bolts?'' Glenn said softly.

Carl nodded and slowly tore his eyes away from Daryl and his crossbow. He walked over to the closest walker placed a foot against its head and pulled the bolt from its skull. He wiped the goopy blood on the grass and made a move for the next bolt. 

Every other step he took he glanced over at Daryl who hadn't taken his eyes off of his dad. Once they were safe he would apologise and apologise and apologise some more.

-

''Okay, we're good ta go,'' Maggie stood and stretched, shouldering her medical bag.

Daryl looked down at Maggie's handy work. Blood was already beginning to stain the pristine white of the bandage closest to the bolt, but she had done a good job. Now he just had to get up. 

His first attempt to move his leg a little to test it out had pain immediately shooting through him. A groan escaped before he could stop it. There was instantly a presence at his side. 

''Easy,'' Rick said as he put a hand on Daryl's good thigh.

Their eyes locked again and heat instantly shot between them. Daryl thought that he shouldn't feel so drawn to Rick and want him so much when he felt so awful, especially when they needed to move fast. His self-preservation went right out the window when Rick was close. Daryl could still feel the heat of Rick's palm even after he had removed it from his leg.

''We need to get to the car, now,'' Michonne said with urgency as she pulled her katana free. 

Maggie took Carl by the elbow and started leading him in the direction of the car. 

Glenn came over to Daryl having found a long stick he hoped was thick enough to take Daryl's weight. He propped it against the tree and nodded to Rick.

''On three...'' Rick placed his hands under Daryl's arm, waited for Glenn to do the same on his other side, then continued, ''One, two, three.'' 

Together they heaved Daryl into a standing position. Glenn grabbed the stick and gave it to Daryl while Rick stayed on his good side to support him. 

''Glenn, go on ahead and get the car ready. Take the crossbow with you.''

''You sure?'' Glenn looked at Rick questioningly.

To be honest Rick just wanted to be alone with Daryl. It was a bad idea and they both knew it, but he nodded his head sending Glenn off at a faster pace. 

Daryl took a tentative step using the stick and Rick's support. It hurt more than he let on, but took another step regardless. This was going to be a long walk.

''I should never have said yes to Carl huntin' with you,'' Rick blurted out.

Daryl glanced up at Rick and shook his head, ''I'm the one who gave in and let him take the crossbow. Knew it was a bad idea, but all that moanin' and whinin', just did it to shut 'im up. Had no idea we'd end up with walkers all around us.''

''Carl said he made too much noise.''

''Yeah, he just got excited. He should be allowed to get excited, man.''

''He shot you with a fuckin' crossbow, Daryl,'' Rick was straight to the point and sounded slightly frantic.

''Yeah an' don't I know it,'' Daryl chuckled as he inched further towards the car, grimacing with each step.

''Daryl, this ain't funny. If it was anyone else I would've...''

''I know... but... if I don't laugh, Rick...'' Daryl interrupted but didn't finish his sentence. 

''I thought the worst when I saw Carl come back on his own. He babbled and didn't make any sense. Made it seem like...'' Rick gripped Daryl to him tighter without realising he had done so.

''When I took out that last walker an' felt everythin' goin' black all I could think about was you. Made me realise I want it all. I don't care who knows it or 'bout what's happened ta me before. This is now and I need you, man.''

''Daryl...'' Rick's words stuck in his throat. 

How did Daryl get so good with words all of a sudden and all Rick could do was stumble over Daryl's name? His heart clenched and his stomach knotted. He could say it now, tell Daryl that he loves him. 

''Rick, I...'' Daryl took a breath, his eyes closed.

This was it, Rick thought, this was the moment they would finally put words to the feelings so obviously there between them.

''...I can't do this,'' Daryl's leg suddenly went from under him and he went crashing to the floor, the stick not helping at all. 

Rick tried to ease his fall and support him to the floor, but he didn’t reach Daryl quickly enough. Daryl lay flat on his back heaving big gulps of air in and out of his lungs. Rick had fallen over him on the way down, avoiding his bad leg but covering his right side. His face mere inches from Daryl's, he could feel each hot breath Daryl puffed out. 

Rick sighed at his missed moment and instead stated the obvious, ''We need to get you to the car.''

''Kinda hard with yer layin' all over me,'' Daryl shoved at Rick's shoulders lightly and smiled.

''Hard you say?'' Rick wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and leaned in closer. 

Daryl, despite the pain coursing through his body, huffed out a laugh. He rolled his eyes and shoved at Rick harder, but still playful. 

''Okay, okay.''

Rick allowed himself to stare for just a moment longer down at Daryl whose hair was dishevelled with dirt and blood splattered across his face and body. He was breath-taking even like this, maybe even more so.

They had made it at least half way but the terrain wasn't making it any easier. Their current position wasn't helping any either. Rick couldn't take his eyes off of Daryl's lips. His breathing began to quicken almost matching Daryl's. 

''God, Rick, if I didn't have a damn bolt through ma leg... the way you look at me sometimes. How's a man supposed ta focus on anythin' important?'' Daryl forced a smile through the pain that seemed to be increasing.

The fall had pushed the bolt further into his leg and he knew without looking that there would be more blood soaking into his clean bandages. He brought both his hands up to cup Rick's face because he just had to touch him.

''Daryl, I...''

''Are you freakin' serious?'' Michonne interrupted. 

Rick scrambled to his feet, ''He fell...'' was all he managed to get out. 

''Yeah I can see that,'' Michonne rolled her eyes and strode over to Daryl.

She reached out and heaved Daryl up single handedly. While he balanced on his good leg she grabbed up the stick and practically shoved it at Daryl who took it without a word. Michonne positioned herself on Daryl's left side for further support. 

''Rick, get yer arse over here and help instead of starin' like an idiot.''

Daryl could only smile and pull Rick to him as he accepted the support. This was not the time to be fooling around, he just couldn't seem to help himself around Rick, it wasn't healthy or safe to be alone with him it right now it seemed. Daryl shook his head at his own stupidity and grit his teeth through each painful step. 

-

It felt like they had been moving for an age, but he could see the car in the distance through the trees. It was a heavenly sight because he felt like he was about to fall again. He really hated feeling so useless and weak. Seemed to be a theme for him lately, he thought absently mindedly. 

''God, you weigh a ton! Come on, almost there,'' Michonne sounded strained as she spoke and shifted her weight.

Two walkers broke the treeline to their left. 

''You have gotta be kiddin' me. We don't have time for this,'' Michonne had zero patience left with this situation. Who lets a damn kid loose with a crossbow anyway?

Rick's brain finally started working. It was too far to call for Glenn and Maggie, they couldn't risk drawing more attention. At this speed the walkers would soon be on them. Leaving Daryl so they could fight them off wasn't an option either. There was only one thing for it.

''Stop. Daryl, put yer arms around our shoulders an' hold on tight. Michonne, grab a leg on three. One, two, three,'' They lifted Daryl off the floor, ''Go!''

Michonne and Rick ran as best they could to close the distance. 

Daryl only just about stopped himself from calling out. The jolting movement was inching the bolt back and forth in his leg making it feel like it was on fire. He felt his vision blurring again and tried his hardest to stay focused and hold on. 

They covered ground quickly now and pulled a distance away from the walkers. As they approached the car Michonne called for them to get the door open. Carl was already riding shotgun and Maggie scooted over into the middle seat in the back to help Daryl in. Glenn held the door open as they made it to the car. 

''Feet in first. He will have to lay across yer laps,'' Michonne was already shoving Daryl's legs in, uncaring of the bolt sticking out of one of them. 

They hadn't planned this out very well, bringing enough people to fill the car, not considering how they were going to bring Daryl back. Maggie tried to help arrange Daryl's legs as they came through the car door. Between all of the bodies in front of her she saw two walkers shuffling their way towards them.

''Guys, faster,'' She called to them.

Glenn looked up and saw the problem. He pulled a knife from Rick's belt and stood in front of them all in case they got too close. 

Michonne left Rick to arrange himself under Daryl's head and rushed around to the driver's side. As she did, she called for Glenn to get in. He ran around the car and pulled Daryl's feet onto his lap as he slid into the seat next to Maggie. 

''Go!'' Glenn called before he had even shut the door. 

Wheels span as Michonne turned the car and sped off back towards the prison. Daryl could make out the sounds of disgruntled walkers getting quieter. He couldn't tell if that was because they were getting further away or because he was losing consciousness again. 

Rick stroked back Daryl's hair and put a hand on his chest, moving his thumb back and forth absent mindedly. He could feel Glenn and Maggie looking at him but he didn't glance up, he just kept his gaze on Daryl's closed eyes. 

Carl knelt on his chair and faced the rear seats, he stared over the headrest and looked down at Daryl. He was about to apologise but stopped before speaking when he saw how pale he looked. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and shallow. 

''Is he gonna be alright?'' Carl's eyes welled up at the sight.

Maggie glanced up from dabbing at the fresh blood and said, ''Once we get back to the prison, Daddy will fix Daryl right up. Don't you worry.''

Glenn squeezed Maggie's arm for reassurance before turning back to staring out of the window into the darkness. 

''Okay, yeah okay,'' Hershel had saved his life after being shot so he trusted Maggie's words, he turned to his Dad and said, ''Dad, I'm real sorry.''

Carl had to get the words out, even if it wasn't said to the right person. 

Daryl stirred but kept his eyes closed, ''Quit apologisin', ain't no use for it. You were tryin' ta help, simple as that.''

''But...''

Daryl opened his eyes then and looked at Carl, ''I kept sayin' yer aim was too low, gotta consider the trajectory of the arrow in flight. Don't think you'll be makin' the same mistake again. Hold the bow up, strong arms, and aim higher than yer target.''

Carl was nodding like one of those dogs with the wobbly heads. 

''Let Daryl rest now,'' Rick said as gently as he could to his son.

Carl turned and plopped back down into his seat without a further word.

''Seatbelt,'' Michonne said without taking her eyes from the road. 

Carl instantly did as he was told.

Daryl closed his eyes again and turned his head into Rick breathing him in, taking comfort in his presence. He was going home.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as they pulled into the prison Carol closed the gate and ran to the car. She gasped as she saw Daryl being pulled out by Glenn, he looked so pale and disoriented. Rick climbed out behind him supporting his weight and helping him stand.

''Glenn, wake Hershel,'' Rick instructed.

Glenn gave a single nod and made his way towards the prison. 

''Daddy will fix 'im up, Rick. I know he will,'' Maggie attempted to reassure Rick before she followed after Glenn.

''Hey, pookey,'' Carol stroked back a strand of Daryl's hair, ''You look like shit.'' 

Daryl could hear the smile in her voice, but also the worry. She probably had tears swimming in her eyes but he couldn't muster up the energy to open his own to look at her. He clung to Rick but tried to support his own weight, which was proving difficult. He just needed to lie down and sleep for a while.

''Yeah, I seen better days tha's fer sure,'' Daryl managed to mumble before falling further into Rick.

The movement caught Rick off guard and had him falling into the side of the car with Daryl leaning heavily on him. Rick needed to get him inside and lying down before he lost consciousness again.

Rick noticed Carl looking agitated and unsure of what to do with himself and thought it best to give him something to do. He had been through a lot and he should probably be doing more for his son, but all he could think about was Daryl right now.

''Carl, run on ahead and get as many blankets and towels as you can. Get rid o' that rabbit too,'' Rick instructed.

Carl was happy to have something to do so he practically ran inside with the determination to be of some help. He had almost completely forgotten about the rabbit which had started all of this. It bobbed around as his legs moved.

Rick turned his attention back to Daryl.

''Okay, Daryl, you gotta work with me here. Let's get you inside.''

Rick pushed Daryl back up and steadied him. He couldn't stand seeing him like this. The fearless hunter having to rely on the support of others, he knew Daryl would be hating it just as much as he was. Rick needed to get him to Hershel, get him fixed up and then get everyone away so Daryl could rest. 

-

''Daddy,'' Maggie gently shook Hershel as she repeated a little louder, ''Daddy.''

''Huh?'' Hershel blinked a few times then rolled over to face the wall.

''Hershel, come on, it's Daryl...'' Glenn put a hand Hershel's shoulder.

''Daryl?'' Hershel interrupted, pushed off the thin sheet that was covering him and sat upright, ''They found him? What about Carl?''

"Daddy, Carl's fine. He made it back to tell us about Daryl. He has a bolt through his leg, from his crossbow. You gotta come, now.''

''Alright, I hear ya.''

Hershel swung his legs around and accepted the crutch that Glenn passed to him. He heaved a sigh as he pulled himself into a standing position, grabbing up his second crutch. Having only one leg never seemed to get any easier, but he started moving and followed Maggie as she lead the way to the medical bay.

''How on earth did he end up with a bolt in his leg? Daryl ain't usually so careless.''

''Erm, it was Carl,'' Maggie said hesitantly. 

''Oh... well, that's a longer story for another time I expect.''

''What's all the commotion, guys?'' Beth almost whispered as she appeared bleary eyed from her cell.

''Hey, nothin' fer you ta worry about. Get back to bed and we'll tell you more in the mornin','' Maggie tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. 

''Maggie, I ain't stupid. It's either Daryl or Carl and by the way yer tryin' ta get me outta the way I'd say it's gotta be Daryl,'' Beth crossed her arms and looked defiant.

''There ain't nothin' you can do right now and we really need you here with Judith and Carl when he gets back to his cell. He might need some support tonight and he listens to you. I'm sure he'll explain everythin'.''

''Then it is Daryl. Go,'' Beth uncrossed her arms and gave Maggie a little shove, ''Go! Help him, Daddy.''

''That's the idea. I'll do everythin' I can, don't you worry. Now go on, back to bed with you.''

Beth reluctantly went back into her cell. She walked over to Judith who was sound asleep, she was such a well behaved baby, always sleeping through the night and never cried out when the food got hard to come by. They always made sure Judith had something to eat though, she never went without.

Glenn went on ahead to set the room up as best he could. Maggie stayed back and walked with Hershel who was slower than the others, but much quicker than he used to be. He was getting used to the crutches.

As they walked Hershel tried to clear the remnants of sleep fog from his brain. He was a vet which was a whole different ball game to working on a human, but what other choice did they have? He was it and he had to get himself ready for what was to come. 

-

Rick and Daryl worked together taking excruciatingly small and slow steps towards the prison. Daryl's legs gave out twice, his energy was spent. The earlier jolting movement to get him into the car had blood pouring from his leg, he had lost too much blood. It was dulling his senses and making him dizzy.

''Not much further,'' Rick spoke low into Daryl's ear so only he could hear, ''I know you ain't gonna like this, but I'm gonna carry you the last stretch.''

Daryl lifted his head and stared at Rick with a small exacerbated smile. For a moment the world stopped and time stood still. All Rick could see was Daryl and that look that had him wanting to wrap him up and carry him off somewhere to keep him safe. This wasn't the first time he had wanted to go all caveman because of Daryl.

''This day just keeps gettin’ better and better,'' Daryl sighed in resignation and said, ''Just do it, I ain't gonna make it on my own.'' 

It broke Rick's heart hearing Daryl so defeated. Once this was all over he really was going to carry Daryl off somewhere safe and keep him out of danger. He didn't think his heart could take much more. 

He moved then wrapping an arm under Daryl's legs and he lifted him up into his arms, it was easier than he thought it would be and he quite liked having Daryl in his arms pressed so close to him. Daryl had turned his head into Rick's shoulder and it felt perfect. Well, apart from the fact Daryl was almost unconscious and there was a bolt sticking out of his leg with blood still oozing from it. 

Rick moved as quickly as he could with the weight of Daryl and without aggravating his injury further. He followed Michonne through corridors that seemed endless, but they finally lead to a room that must have been used as a nursing station before. 

He hadn't been this deep into the prison yet, but he knew Michonne, Maggie and Glenn had been busy clearing out unused sections of the prison while he had focused on his farm. Since Lori he hadn't been that deep into the prison, only going as far as the showers.

Carol was close and occasionally swept Daryl's hair from his eyes, murmuring things to him as they moved. Rick began to feel the strain of carrying Daryl in his arms and was relieved to see a table where Hershel was waiting, hands gloved and ready. Rick, as gently as he could, lowered Daryl onto the table.

As he went to move away Daryl grabbed at his sleeve and stared intently at him. His eyes were pleading, but he said nothing. Rick new Daryl didn't want to let his guard down any further by asking, in front of everyone, for him to stay. 

Rick leaned down and whispered close to Daryl's ear, ''I ain't goin' nowhere. I'll be right here the whole time. This ain't like before, okay, you got me this time.''

Daryl closed his eyes as he felt Rick's breath against his ear. His heart melted at Rick's words and how the man could always read him and know what he was saying without words. Daryl hated hospitals, too many bad memories. He knew rationally that this was different, but he still felt a jolt of panic run through him as soon as he was placed on the table. 

Rick slowly raised his head and stared just as intensely into Daryl's eyes. He leaned down and placed a kiss on Daryl's lips, but quickly forced himself to pull away as he could quite easily get lost in those lips and he was very aware of the crowded room observing his every move. 

Everyone bar Hershel knew, but he wasn't sure Daryl was ready for a full on make-out session again in front of an audience. Plus they were wasting time, he needed medical attention so Rick stepped around to the other side of the table to give Hershel room. 

He pulled a stool over and sat by Daryl's head and without thinking he slowly stroked strands of Daryl's hair between his fingers while he held Daryl’s hand tightly in his other hand. It felt so natural and comfortable and Daryl seemed to be soothed by it.

Hershel looked between the two of them briefly but didn't say a word, instead he moved a tray of medical equipment next to the table and leaned down to study the bolt closely. He looked up when Carl ran in with towels and blankets. 

''Good, you just put them over there now an' use one o' them blankets to put under Daryl's head here,'' Hershel spoke calmly and slowly as was his way.

Carl did as he was told and grabbed up a blanket, he folded it as neatly as he could. Rick took it from him with a grateful smile and gently lifted Daryl's head to slide the blanket underneath. 

''I ain't sick, jus' pull the damn thing out already,'' Daryl was aiming for anger, but his voice betrayed him coming out slightly strained from his lack of energy.

Hershel ignored Daryl's outburst and instead turned to the others, ''Now, this isn't goin' ta be pretty and there's nothin' much any of you can do here anyway so let's please clear the room.''

For a moment everyone just stood and stared until Carol went over and squeezed the hand that Rick wasn't holding before quickly turning and leaving without saying word. Maggie and Glenn moved next and followed her out after both placing a hand on Daryl's good leg briefly as they walked past.

''I'll take your watch,'' Is all Michonne said to Daryl before she nodded and left as well.

That just left Carl who shifted his weight nervously between his feet a few times before glancing at Daryl from under his hat. 

''What's with people, I ain't dyin'. Looks worse than it is an' I just want it outta me now. Carl, go get some rest an' come see me in the mornin'. Hey,'' Daryl waited until Carl made eye contact then continued, ''you were just tryin' ta help. Now go rest up and let Hershel do his thing.''

Carl nodded with tears brimming in his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look at his Dad instead he lowered his head so that his face was hidden by the hat again. He turned without another word and shuffled out of the room.

As soon as the room was clear Daryl spoke, ''Hershel, get this thing outta me.''

''I don't have nothin' to dull the pain an' it's goin' ta hurt like hell. Now, roll on ta yer side facin' Rick there.''

Daryl shifted his weight and faced Rick who was staring intently at him. He held Rick's gaze as he felt Hershel grip the bolt at the back of his thigh.

''Now, I'm goin' ta count ta three. Here, bite down on this.''

Hershel pressed a towel to Daryl's mouth. Daryl opened obediently and bit down on it as Rick gripped his hand tighter.

''One, two...''

Hershel pulled the bolt out in one go on his count of two, taking Daryl by surprise and wrenching a scream from him. The cry was muffled by the towel wedged into his mouth. He broke eye contact with Rick as he scrunched his eyes shut. He was breathing heavily and biting into the towel hard. 

Hershel tossed the broken bolt to the floor and grabbed two clean towels and pressed them to either side of the wound to try and stop the worst of the bleeding. Fresh blood seeped from the holes either side of Daryl's thigh, but it was manageable.

''Here, Rick, press down hard on this,'' Hershel nodded to the towel closest to Rick, ''Daryl, the bleedin' seems about normal for a wound like this. Only seen 'em on horses before mind, but anyway no arteries or nothin' seem to have been caught so I'm goin' to stitch you up now an' then give you some generic antibiotics. It's all we got, but at least it'll hopefully stop any infection.''

Daryl nodded and tried hard not to whimper as Rick removed his hand from Daryl’s to hold the towel in place. He used the hand to press the towel to his mouth, he kept his teeth tight around it as he knew how painful stitches could be. He had stitched himself up enough times to know.

''Deep breath,'' Daryl vaguely heard Hershel say.

He felt the needle go in and then the odd sensation of thread passing through skin, it was a strangely familiar feeling, but not one he cared to remember. It felt like hours, but Hershel was done with the back of his thigh within minutes. The wound was cleaned before and after the stitches then gauze was taped over them.

''We'll need ta change the dressin' a few times a day 'til the wound stops drainin'. After that it'll be just about keepin' the stitches from catchin' on yer clothin’ until they’re good ta be taken out. Should be about a week or so as long as you take good care of 'em...'' Hershel spoke as he worked. 

Neither Daryl nor Rick were paying any particular attention. Daryl knew how to take care of stitches.

''How you holdin' up?'' Rick said close to Daryl's head as he reclaimed his hand.

Rick had moved to allow Hershel room to work on the front of Daryl's thigh. Blood steadily oozed out of the hole for a while before slowing enough for Hershel to start stitching that side up too. 

Daryl spat the towel from his mouth and winced at the pain of the first stitch going in before trying for a reply, ''This ain't so bad, had worse.''

Rick saw Daryl force a smile which made him feel incredibly sad. He didn't want Daryl to have to pretend in front of him, he wanted more than anything for him to feel comfortable enough to be himself. 

''Daryl...''

''Yeah, I know. It's a hard habit ta break, been doin' it all ma life,'' Daryl saw the hurt on Rick's face, he paused not wanting to be the reason for that look and took a few breaths before continuing quietly, ''I'm glad you came fer me and I'm real glad yer here, Rick.''

Rick leaned in and pressed his lips to Daryl's gently and briefly. It tore a groan from Daryl, which came out louder than intended due to the combination of the pain mixed with Rick's kiss.

''Less o' that you two,'' Hershel chuckled as he finished the stitches, ''I ain't stupid, knew you two had somethin' even long before the both o' you did, but at least wait till I'm outta the room. I'm an old man, don't need ta be witness to noises like that at my age.'' 

Hershel shook his head with a smile on his face as he applied the final gauze and began wrapping a bandage around Daryl's thigh. When he was satisfied with the job he caught up his crutches and hobbled back to his tools. He passed Rick some antibiotic tablets and then wrapped the equipment, along with the gloves he had been wearing, in one of the dirty towels. 

''I'm goin' ta go clean this mess up an' leave you boys...'' Hershel paused and another chuckle escaped when he saw Rick and Daryl's blank faces staring at him, ''You both look like you got some questions.''

''You knew?'' Rick spoke and looked at Hershel with a mixture of disbelief and confusion.

How did literally everyone seem know how he felt before he did and why didn't anyone tell him? He had wasted so much time being oblivious.

''I guess I weren't as subtle as I thought I was bein','' Daryl said with a smile in his voice that didn't quite reach his face due to feeling so exhausted.

''Come on now,'' Hershel looked between the two of them and their blank expressions, ''Well, I jus' assumed the two o' you were playin' hard ta get or somethin', but it turns out ya'll are just plain dumb.''

Hershel chuckled and moved closer to the pair, ''At least you got there in the end I guess,'' He said as he helped Daryl into a more comfortable position on his back and adjusted the blanket under his head, he then looked to Rick.

''When Daryl chose to leave with Merle that day I thought you were goin' ta do somethin', well, somethin' stupid. Reminded me of how you were when Lori... God rest her soul... an' when he came back,'' Hershel looked at Daryl then, ''When you came back, you looked at Rick different. I mean you looked at him before but this was more. Like you made a decision.''

''Damn Hershel,'' Daryl hadn't really realised the impact of that conversation in the woods with his brother, ''Merle, he musta known man, he was talkin' like I betrayed him with you. Then I left him there and chose you, Rick. I chose you over my own damn brother, my own blood. He saw the scars... he saw 'em and he froze...''

Daryl's voice caught. He was exhausted and didn't have the energy to hold it together or stop the tears from flowing. Instead he laid his head back and closed his eyes trying to keep all of those memories from flooding back in.

''I'll leave you boys alone. Make sure you get that manky lookin’ bandana off though an’ keep the wound clean. It's been a real long day... Daryl’s goin’ ta need his rest,'' Hershel looked at Rick pointedly.

''I ain't gonna try nothin' with him like this. I mean his leg not the... wait not that I would when he's upset... '' Rick sighed and couldn't help but smile, he couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Hershel.

Hershel smiled back while shaking his head, then he left the room. The sudden silence was welcome and brought some peace to Rick's mind. It was just him and Daryl.

Rick turned back to Daryl and said, as he wiped away the tears sliding down the sides of Daryl's face, ''Hey, you don't need to be thinkin' on all that stuff right now. You need to rest.''

''Rick, if I had stayed with Merle maybe he wouldn't be dead,'' Daryl held up a hand to stop Rick's protest, ''But, you know what, I'd do the same thing again. I'd leave him every time if I knew I'd have this with you to come back to.''

Rick stroked back Daryl's hair and pressed a kiss to Daryl's forehead. 

''I love you.''

Fuck. The words had come out before he knew what he was even saying. He had wanted the moment to be right and perfect, not like this. Rick pulled his head back and slowly looked into Daryl's eyes, he held his breath as he tried to judge Daryl's reaction.

All the pain in Daryl's body left him in that brief moment. All he could hear were those three words and it made him feel like he was floating. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard his Dad's voice telling him that no one would ever love him and he mentally gave him the finger. Rick Grimes loved him. Rick Grimes loved him.

Rick was staring at him so intently he had to close his eyes. He saw fear there, but he couldn't get his own words to work to reassure him. All he could do was just lay there and try to breath as the words sank in and the pain slowly came back, but he barely felt it as a warmth he hadn't felt before spread through him and filled up all the emptiness.

Rick watched Daryl closely, watched as his eyes closed while a small smile spread across his face and his breathing slowed. Rick took Daryl's hand in both of his as the man slowly drifted off to sleep in front of him. The man he loved was safe and back with him and he felt happiness buzz in his stomach at his confession.


	15. Chapter 15

Daryl stood in his cell, one hand pressed lightly against the wall for balance and the other held tightly onto the crutch that had been made for him. Hershel had joked saying it made him feel better not being the only one hobbling around the place. Daryl was still getting used to it and it irritated the hell out of him not being able to move around freely.

The stitches had been removed the night before and he wanted to test out how his leg maneuvered without them. It was heavenly to have them gone, they had caught on just about everything he wore which had Hershel breathing down his neck constantly because they couldn't risk infection or the wound not healing properly. 

He was surprised at how fast the wound had healed, only seven days and Hershel finally gave in to removing the stitches. Daryl had never whined and complained so much in his life, he had been as bad as Carl. Even Rick ended up telling him to quit his moaning. He spent most of his time in Rick's boxers because trousers were just too annoying and he didn't own a pair of his own. 

His attire didn't stop people from coming by to see how he was doing frequently though. Daryl felt trapped in his cell with people coming and going as they pleased and it made him snappy and grumpy. He knew they meant well but he was finding it difficult to cope, he was so used to solitude and being outdoors.

When Rick got back from whatever jobs he had been doing during the day he would usher them away and was much more polite about it. Daryl just told them to leave when he had had enough. He didn't want any more sympathy or pity, and Carl, he just kept coming around feeling sorry for himself. Daryl ran out of energy to reassure him after the first three days of it.

Once they got him the crutch it got easier though, people gave him more space and he practiced getting around with Rick's help. Rick was the only one he could stand to be around for more than a few minutes. He couldn't have done this without him, not just healing from the leg injury but having to deal with all the attention. He knew they were only concerned and wanted to help, but he needed his space.

He was coming to realise that this thing with Rick wasn't just about physical attraction. Rick wanted to be there and would tell Daryl off whenever he got insecure and told Rick to leave. He kept just waiting for Rick to want more from him, but it didn't happen, he just kept giving and taking nothing.

There had been some pretty intense moments though. That first night he didn't remember much after Rick had told him he loved him. He woke up to find Rick slumped over with his head resting in his arms, still holding one of Daryl's hands in his. 

Daryl shifting had woken Rick and their eyes met. Daryl wanted more than anything to say 'I love you' back but his words just wouldn't work, instead he stared and waited to see the disappointment on Rick's face that he thought would inevitably be there. It never came, Rick just smiled, stood and stretched then went off to get them breakfast.

When he stretched his gross looking dirty t-shirt, that he was sure used to be white, rode up a little and showed off Rick's belly. It was a pleasant image to be left with while he waited for Rick to return with food, he had been so hungry and hadn't even realised it.

Once he was back in his own cell, Rick had stayed with him each night and every morning he would wake with Rick's hard cock pressed against him. Every time Rick would snuggle into him for a while, kiss him gently, then get up and leave to bring Daryl breakfast. Not once did he try for anything more or force Daryl to do anything.

One morning Daryl rolled onto his good side and positioned himself as best he could without hurting his leg. He reached out and wrapped a hand around Rick's hardness through the material of his boxers, he squeezed and pressed. Rick had groaned and closed his eyes for a moment, lost in the amazing feelings Daryl was creating, but then he took Daryl's hand and gently pulled him away.

Rick shook his head, ''This isn't what I want, you don't hafta do this. I want you, Daryl, when yer feelin' more up to it.''

Daryl had been confused and hurt at first until Rick leaned in and wrapped him in his arms. He kissed Daryl so gently, but with so much passion, that Daryl's heart melted. His own cock was rock hard, Rick must have felt it, but at the same time he felt like he could have cried. 

Rick had pulled back and stared into Daryl's eyes, ''I meant it when I said I love you. You don't need ta do nothin' but get better. When yer healed I'm gonna show ya just how much I love you.''

Rick's mouth curved into a sinful smile that had Daryl's cock getting impossibly harder. He knew Rick was right, he needed to heal, but what had started out as Daryl wanting to give Rick release had ended with him needing it. 

Once Rick had left Daryl rolled onto his back and took his straining erection into his hand, he had removed his borrowed boxers before sleeping. He just wasn't used to wearing underwear anymore. Daryl stroked himself slowly at first with a tight grip. He closed his eyes and imagined all the ways Rick might show him how much he loved him.

His pace quickened and his breathing became ragged. He felt his cock pulse and twitch, and he knew he was getting close. His hand moved faster and faster until his orgasm suddenly burst from him. He cried out with a mixture of pain and pleasure. The intensity of his release had his muscles tightening which sent white hot pain shooting through his leg, it radiated from the wound and all he could do was lay there breathing hard.

Rick came running back into his cell and just managed to stop Glenn from following him in as he took in the sight in front of him.

''Glenn, its fine. Go on back ta breakfast,'' Rick said calmly with an arm outstretched to stop Glenn from moving any further, never taking his eyes off of Daryl.

Daryl looked up at Rick with a deep blush that was spreading across his cheeks and he was sure it was making its way across his entire body.

''Daryl, what did I tell you?'' Rick's voice was low and incredibly sexy.

Daryl closed his eyes and sighed deeply before he opened them again to stare at Rick, it was all he could do. He was still in pain and coming down from his orgasm, he also had come running down his stomach and pooling in his belly button. He tried a nonchalant shrug but it just added to the pain which had him grimacing.

Rick was instantly at his side with a shirt that had been discarded on the floor. He wiped gently at the mess Daryl had made, all the while keeping eye contact with Daryl.

''I said I'd take care of you an' get you through this. Next time you need this,'' Rick glanced down at the mess and Daryl's softening cock before bringing his eyes back to Daryl's, ''you tell me.''

''But... this mornin'...'' Is all Daryl could manage and it came out too much like a whine for his liking.

Rick threw the dirty shirt back to the floor then leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the tip of Daryl's cock before moving to sit next to Daryl on the bed. He pulled up the thin sheet and held it in place with a hand on Daryl's chest.

''I thought that was about me, didn't want you feelin' you had ta do nothin' like that right now.''

''Seems so easy fer you,'' Daryl said as he let his gaze fall from Rick's.

''You think this is easy? Wakin' up next ta you every mornin' an'... the only reason I get up an' leave so quick is 'cause I can't trust maself ta stay no longer.''

Daryl's eyes instantly met with Rick's again. He wanted what he had said to be true. In such a short space of time Rick had wrapped himself around Daryl's heart and he needed him, needed all of this to be real and he hated himself for still not believing it.

''Sorry,'' Was all Daryl could manage.

Rick shook his head and leaned down to whisper into Daryl's ear, ''Why d'ya think it takes me so long ta bring yer breakfast. I get so damn hard I can't think straight an' until I sort maself out I don't trust maself. I ain't gonna be like the others Daryl, I ain't gonna take advantage, but when that leg is healed I can't promise I'll be as patient.''

It was a threat, a promise. A shiver ran down Daryl's spine and he felt his cock springing to life again. He closed his eyes and tried to breath. 

''You ain't nothin' like the others, Rick. I ain't never felt like this before...'' Daryl paused, he wasn't good at this kind of talk.

Rick sensed Daryl's unease with the direction of the conversation so he slowly removed his hand from Daryl's chest, stood and moved to the doorway.

''I'm gonna get yer breakfast. Don't do nothin' else before I get back, you damn near gave me a heart attack,'' Despite the tone of Rick's voice he smiled before leaving.

-

That had been four days ago and since then he had managed to get down to breakfast, but not without help. Today though, Daryl wanted to be able to walk down to breakfast unaided. He still spent most of the time in his cell and he felt like he was going mad. Eight days trapped inside was driving him crazy.

He had been gradually putting more and more weight on his leg while Rick wasn't around. When Rick was about all he was allowed to do was rest and only walk with the crutch with help from someone, which was usually Rick. The outer tissue had closed and started to heal over, but internally he knew his leg was still a mess. 

So, with the support of his crutch and the wall he slowly shifted his weight onto his injured leg. It was still painful but nothing compared to what it was. He took deep, slow breaths as the pain sent a burning sensation through him. He counted to ten then shifted his weight back to his good leg again. He repeated this until he felt sweat bead on his skin.

''What are you doin'?''

Daryl froze and his heart quickened as he looked up at Rick who was stood in the doorway of his cell, hip leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded. Daryl felt like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

''Rick, I need ta get outta this damn cell man.'' 

Daryl wobbled slightly having been standing for some time now. Rick was instantly at his side, something he did on autopilot now, and it irritated Daryl. Without thinking he brought his arm up and pushed Rick away. It wasn't a hard shove, but he had done it and he instantly regretted it. 

''Shit Rick, I'm sorry. I feel like a goddamn caged animal,'' Daryl said with frustration evident.

Rick stood a few paces in front of Daryl and said, ''Then how about we go on a date?''

''What?'' Daryl responded sounding confused.

The question had caught him off guard. What the hell was Rick on about, a date?

''You know, you and me... candle lit dinner for two an' all that,'' Rick chuckled, but it came out more nervous sounding than he would have liked.

Daryl stared at Rick realising he was serious. He suddenly felt nervous too, he hadn't really been on a date before. He didn't think hanging out at someone's house constituted a date.

''Planned it before the accident, had it all ready an' waitin' for when you got back. I want ta do this right, ya know, make it real.''

''I ain't never been on a date before,'' Daryl ducked his head and spoke so quietly he wondered if Rick had even heard him.

Those few whispered words broke Rick's heart. Daryl was the kind of man Rick wished he could be and he wanted more than anything to take Daryl's past away, but he knew that wasn't possible. All he could do was make his present and future better. Maybe he could help create new memories so the old ones would almost disappear. 

Rick stepped closer slowly, he didn't want to be shoved away again. He knew Daryl never meant it but it still hurt, not physically though but emotionally. He ducked his head a little to make eye contact. He always felt like he was dealing with a wild animal when Daryl was like this, and now he was wounded which made the situation even more unpredictable and dangerous. 

''Daryl, let me take you on a date. Just you, me and dinner?''

Daryl's head was spinning and for once it wasn't because of the pain in his leg. He shoved down the usual thoughts that sprang up when Rick was nice to him, when anyone was nice to him. His Dad could go to hell because Rick loved him and wanted to take him to dinner and screw Jesse as well, Daryl wanted it all with Rick and nothing was going to stop him.

''Yeh.''

Rick stood up straight with his eyes slightly wide. He had assumed it would take some persuasion and maybe Daryl would even laugh at him and say no. He stepped forward and dragged Daryl into a fierce embrace. The crutch fell to the floor with a loud clatter and Daryl huffed out a breath that was squeezed from him.

''Rick...'' Daryl's voice was strained from being held so tightly and he chuckled. 

Beth came running, but jolted to a stop just outside Daryl's cell with Judith gurgling in her arms. Her face went from panic to shock to a soft smile in a split second. Rick released Daryl reluctantly and took a step back. 

''Beth, I can explain-'' Daryl began to say.

''I seen worse,'' Beth interrupted and smiled as she looked between the both of them, ''An' you two are a hell of a lot easier on the eyes than Glenn an' Maggie.''

Beth laughed and Judith let out a happy giggle. 

''Yer okay with this... us too?'' Daryl sounded confused.

''Daryl you are silly sometimes. We all love you an' want you ta be happy an' well... you sure look happy,'' Beth bounced Judith on her hip and cooed, ''Doesn't Uncle Daryl look happy?'' 

Judith let out a little shriek which sounded like she agreed then reached her hands out almost falling out of Beth's arms. Rick instinctively stepped forward, but Judith frowned and continued to reach her arms out. He looked over his shoulder at Daryl who shrugged and held out his hands for Judith.

''Hey there, li'l ass kicker. How's ma girl?'' Daryl said as he took Judith into his arms.

Daryl shuffled backwards as best he could and settled onto the bed. His good leg was starting to ache from taking his weight for so long. Daryl bounced a happy, giggling Judith on his leg and caught Rick staring at him.

Rick couldn't help it, seeing Daryl so relaxed and comfortable with his child just did things to him. He felt all warm and gooey inside like he could just melt right into a puddle on the floor. He propped himself against the wall and just took it all in. How happy his daughter looked and how natural Daryl was with her.

Beth moved in though with a grimace on her face, ''Come here baby girl, we don't wanna hurt uncle Daryl's leg now do we?''

''She's fine, ain't doin' no harm,'' Daryl protested.

Beth had already scooped her up though. 

''I don't wanna take that chance. You just had the stitches out. Take it easy.''

Judith was squirming in Beth's arms and making little sounds of protest. Beth smiled at them both before leaving as Judith began to cry.

Rick continued to stare as the room filled with silence, it was comfortable but intense. Rick was practically devouring Daryl with his eyes and he let out a low groan in his throat. 

Daryl wasn't sure if Rick was even aware of the noise he had just made, but it made him smile. He actually felt himself blush so he flicked his hair around to try and hide his face. He peered between the strands at Rick. 

''Daryl... you need to go to breakfast an' I need a cold shower,'' Rick sighed and looked to the ceiling briefly. 

Daryl chuckled and said, ''Well, good job 'cause colds all ya gonna get.''

Rick sighed even louder, more exaggerated this time. He had a smile on his face as he stepped in front of Daryl and gently pulled him to his feet. Once Daryl was steady Rick brought both hands up to frame his face. 

Daryl held on to Rick's wrists and just stared into his piercing blue eyes. He found his heart was beginning to race, hoping that Rick would bring their lips together. He could easily move and close the gap himself, but he waited and let the anticipation coil in him. He liked relinquishing control to Rick.

Rick didn't disappoint. He slowly moved his hands back into Daryl's hair, feeling it slip through his fingers. Once he reached the back of Daryl's head he tightened his grip and saw Daryl shudder and close his eyes. It amazed him every time at how responsive Daryl was. 

''You like that, huh?'' Rick's voice was low and gravelly, just inches from Daryl's lips. 

Daryl could feel Rick's breath as he spoke. He nodded in answer but kept his eyes closed and just savoured all the sensations and feelings Rick was creating in him. 

Rick let his eyes wonder over Daryl's beautiful features, his closed eyes, his messy hair, and his flushed face. He could stare at him all day and time always seemed to slow down when he explored Daryl with his eyes. His gaze moved then to Daryl's mouth; those soft, perfect, kissable lips. He inched closer until their lips were almost touching.

''Goddamn, you're gorgeous,'' Rick breathed the words.

Hearing Daryl groan and feeling the grip tighten on his wrists had Rick closing the gap and pressing their lips together. Daryl opened, instantly deepening the kiss. Rick allowed his tongue to be sucked into Daryl's mouth. He loved it when Daryl took control, and he didn't think Daryl was even aware he was doing it. 

Rick tightened his grip in Daryl's hair as he felt his head spin with the intensity of the kiss, which only made Daryl swirl and tangle his tongue with Rick's more frantically. Rick felt the kiss all the way to his toes until his legs were struggling to hold him up. He could only imagine how Daryl felt. He gripped Daryl's hair and pulled their lips apart.

They both stood clutching each other and gasping for air. 

''We need ta stop or we'll never make it ta breakfast.''

Daryl knew Rick was trying to protect him again. The way he felt right now though he thought the pain would be worth it, but instead he released Rick's wrists and took a shaky step back.

''Okay, just... just give me a moment. I can't go nowhere like this,'' Daryl glanced down at his evident arousal.

Rick snatched up the crutch from the floor and handed it to Daryl. He sure as hell didn't know how he was going to lose his own erection when he had to put his hands all over the man to help him down the stairs. This was torture, he was being tortured. 

''Dammit, yer leg can't heal quick enough.''


	16. Chapter 16

''What d'ya even wear on a date anyway?'' Daryl mused aloud.

He had three shirts laid out on his bed. He wore a thin vest and the least ripped pair of trousers he could find as he stared at the shirts in front of him, all various shades of brown, one with sleeves and two without. He noticed that one was frayed around the collar so he tossed it to one side, that left sleeves or no sleeves. He shifted his weight, standing was still awkward but the crutch helped. 

''What ya doin' pookey, talkin' to yaself again?'' Carol said with a smile from the doorway of Daryl's cell.

''I don't think this is such a good idea. I ain't no good at this kinda stuff. Think I'm gonna tell Rick to call it off.''

''You will do nothing of the sort!'' Carol said in a stern but motherly tone.

Carol walked over to the bed and picked up the sleeveless shirt, she held it up in front of Daryl and nodded.

''This one.''

Daryl slipped it on while Carol held the crutch for him and started buttoning it up. He got over half way when he realised he had been buttoning it wrong and huffed out a moan. He felt like he wanted to just rip all the buttons off, then he felt hands settle over his and slowly pull them away.

Carol rested the crutch against the bed then began re-buttoning Daryl's shirt for him while she spoke, ''Rick wants ta do this properly, wants ta show you that it's real an' fer him that means takin' you on a date. It's the only way he knows how to show you he loves you.''

''I know he loves me, I think I even believe it... but this... what do I do or say to him. I can't even decide what to wear!'' Daryl sounded more and more frantic as he spoke. 

Carol finished buttoning the shirt and went in search of his leather waistcoat. She grabbed it up and helped Daryl slip into it. As she straightened it up and flattened it down she held eye contact with Daryl. 

''It's only Rick. You been eatin' with him every day here an' we all see how close the two of you sit. This is just another meal with Rick like all those other times, except this time all of us aren't around ta get in yer way an' gawk at the both o' you.''

''Yeah, yer right. It's Rick. You know, Carol, I think...'' Daryl paused and broke eye contact, hiding behind his hair before continuing, ''I think I love him.''

Carol instantly pulled Daryl into a hug, gently holding the back of his head. She actually felt tears well up. She felt so happy that Daryl had found someone he cared for and that cared just as much for him too. Carol pulled back and rested her hands on Daryl's chest lightly. 

''Go get him, go tell him,'' Carol smiled with watery eyes. 

She reached her hands up and gently brought Daryl's head down to meet her lips as she placed a kiss to his forehead. She rested her lips there and took a deep breath before releasing him.

Daryl felt dazed. No one had ever cared so much about him before. Now he had Rick and Carol and all the others, he had a real family that mattered. He had to blink a few times to prevent his own eyes from tearing up. 

''Go on, I'll tidy this mess up,'' Carol glanced around at the clothes scattered all over his cell.

Daryl felt frozen to the spot. He stood and watched for a while as Carol folded his shirt then picked up a rather grimy looking pair of trousers. As she folded them in half something fell out of a pocket and bounced onto the floor. Daryl just stared at it as Carol picked it up by the cord and held it out to him. 

''I made it fer Rick. Seems a bit stupid now though. S'just a stone.''

Carol wrapped his fingers around the stone and held his hand in both of hers, ''He will love it, it's perfect. Now go.''

Daryl scooped up his crutch and left the cell with a little shove from Carol. He walked without direction clutching the stone in his hand, his mind filled with thoughts, none particularly sticking around long enough to grasp. Before long he found himself standing outside the cell where Rick had asked him to meet him. 

-

Rick paced the cell as he buttoned up his best shirt. It had a small blood stain on the hem so he tucked it into his jeans and sighed loudly as he ran his fingers through his hair. A date had seemed like such a good idea. A way to prove to Daryl that Rick was different, that he wanted more than just to use him for his body. Now though, he felt nervous. 

Rick felt ridiculous at his reaction because he was the one who had set this up and it was Daryl. He had eaten countless times with the man practically sitting in his lap. He shook his head as that imagine suddenly started morphing into something much more explicit than intended. 

God, it had been a while. All those mornings waking up rock hard and pressed up against Daryl had driven him crazy. He shook his head to clear it of the erotic images of Daryl flashing in front of him. Instead he turned to the blanket he had brought down from the tower, but stopped short when he heard a shuffling and clomping sound nearing the cell. Daryl.

The cells in this block had doors, he chose this area because he knew they would likely be undisturbed. It had probably been a psych ward with the way everything was white and sterile looking, but it would do nicely he thought. He had even scattered some candles about. He had gotten them from Maggie, they were half used but they would do.

He glanced around one more time before readying himself for Daryl to enter. He straightened his shoulders and stood in the centre of the room as he heard Daryl come to a stop just outside. He waited and waited, nothing. Not a sound. Rick's heart jumped into his throat. Something was wrong, why wasn't Daryl coming in?

-

Daryl stood just staring at the closed door. The longer he stood there the more this seemed like a stupid idea. Daryl Dixon didn't go on dates, no one ever wanted to date him. They just wanted a good time, which usually meant a quick fuck. 

''Go home, Dixon,'' Daryl said aloud to himself.

He turned and started making his way back down the corridor. His leg was starting to ache. It was much better than it had been, but he hadn't done much walking about on it so he stopped and leaned against the wall to give his leg a rest. He looked down at it, he couldn't see the scar that he knew was there nestled amongst the many smaller ones. 

He wasn't sure how long he stood there just staring at the spot on his trousers that covered his healing wound. His mind wondered to those three words Rick had said to him. The words that had made his head spin, the ones he tried real hard to believe. He took a deep breath, stood back up and moved back towards the door again.

It felt like there was a battle going on in his mind between his Pa and Rick, words and voices crashing together until he just wanted to scream. 

''I'm glad yer back.''

''Fucking queer.''

''You're family.''

''You ain't no son o' mine!''

''I need you.''

''You disgust me.''

''Can I kiss you?''

''Faggot.''

''Yer Pa ain't here ta hurt you no more.''

''Useless piece o' good for nothin' shit.''

''I love you.''

''Shut up, just shut up,'' Daryl whispered as he gripped his hair tight with his free hand and rested his forehead against the door.

He turned and slumped against the door, silent tears spilling down his face uncontrollably. All of this because of one little date, a date with Rick. His Rick. Dammit.

-

Rick heard footsteps and the sound of the crutch getting further away again. His heart, that was already pounding out a nervous rhythm, increased its intensity and turned into fear. He moved to the door but paused before opening it as he heard the steps slowly move closer again. 

He placed a hand on the door as he imagined Daryl battling with himself on the other side. He waited, wanting Daryl to come to him freely, but he couldn't wait any longer when he heard Daryl's whispered words and the scrape of him sliding down the door to the floor. Rick felt his heart sink with him.

He gently opened the door and crouched behind Daryl, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around the man. Such a physically strong man, but one with so much pain inside. 

''It's okay. We don't hafta do this. You know how I feel about you without the need fer a date.''

''Fuck... just fuck.'' 

''Erm... what here? On the floor in the doorway? But what if someone sees?''

Daryl snorted and huffed out a small chuckle.

Rick could hear the tears and he just wanted to make them disappear. He joked because he didn't know what else to do. He was never any good at this, even with Lori. He moved then, sliding one leg either side of Daryl, drawing him back closer against him. 

''Talk to me,'' Rick said as he drew his thumb up to catch a stray tear rolling down the side of Daryl's cheek.

''Rick, I'm so screwed up,'' Daryl conceded and leaned his head back against Rick's shoulder.

When Rick was close the craziness inside him seemed to settle. He remembered leaning like this against a tree, with dead walkers all around him, hoping he would get to see Rick again. In that moment he had decided he wanted it all. He tried to draw on that feeling now, that desperate feeling to be with Rick just one more time. He wanted this, wanted Rick.

''Daryl...'' Rick hummed his name to break the silence.

''I got you this,'' Daryl interrupted, turning to face Rick while still encircled in his legs.

Daryl pulled the necklace from his pocket and practically shoved it at Rick. He mentally kicked himself for being so far from smooth and romantic as he had hoped and planned to be.

Rick blinked a few times at the sudden offering, momentarily finding it difficult to keep up. Then he saw the beautiful deep green stone, a natural hole through it, hanging from a cord. He reached out and held the stone in his hand. It felt cold but quickly warmed against his palm. 

Daryl let the cord fall so Rick held the stone in his hand. He held his breath and watched as Rick studied the necklace. 

''Daryl, thank you,'' Rick looked up and locked eyes with him. 

Rick hoped he could read there all of the words he didn't know how to say. Daryl wasn't the only one who wasn't any good with words in these situations. He was relieved when he saw Daryl let out a breath and smile, a small blush began to spread across his cheeks. He looked stunning just sitting there like that between his legs. 

Rick brought the cord up and slid it over his head. He liked the feel and weight of the stone hanging from his neck. He palmed its smooth surface a few more times before leaning forward and drawing Daryl into a gentle kiss. Even at the slight touch of their lips Rick's head spun, he would never get enough of this man. He only just managed to stop himself from deepening the kiss.

Instead, he broke the kiss and stood holding his hands out for Daryl. He was the one holding his breath now, hoping Daryl would accept his invitation. It seemed like an eternity, but Daryl put his hands in Rick's who then pulled him to his feet. Rick reached down and picked up the crutch, handing it to Daryl.

''Now let me give you my present.''

Daryl nodded and moved into the cell with Rick. He instantly noticed that it was lit only by candle light. The cell had no windows and was slightly larger than the cells they all slept in. The bed however, didn't look much better. He watched as Rick picked up a blanket and began unfolding it. 

Rick lifted the blanket and rolled it out to spread it across the floor. Instantly he regretted the movement when he saw a small bottle and a packet fly free and land at Daryl's feet. He winced, his eyes darted to meet Daryl's as he slowly straightened up.

Rick had completely forgotten about his visit with Maggie and her eagerness to give him those particular supplies. They hadn't done much more than kiss since the injury because Rick hadn't wanted to hurt Daryl or rush into things and before the accident they hadn't even been close to taking it that far. 

Rick had come to realise that when it came to Daryl he was nothing but a soppy romantic, wanting it to be right. He was hoping this date would make Daryl realise he didn't just want him physically but in every possible way, and now here he was practically throwing lube and condoms at the man.

''Eager,'' Was all Daryl said.

Daryl said it with such a straight face that Rick couldn't read him and it felt like his heart was trying to escape out of his chest.

''Erm... I can explain.''

Daryl moved the lube and condoms to one side with his foot without taking his eyes from Rick and slowly let a smile spread across his face. He could hear Rick sigh loudly and could see the relief on his face. Daryl found it sweet that Rick was trying really hard to date him, it was so old fashioned and nothing he was used to.

''Let's get this food sorted, then you can tell me all about why you just threw lube at me.''

-

Rick stared as Daryl tore at the deer jerky with his teeth. There was something incredibly sexy about watching the man eat. It was so primal. He would quite happily be torn apart like that by Daryl Dixon's gorgeous mouth. 

Rick shook his head to clear those twisted thoughts. It was difficult not to imagine those teeth sinking into his own flesh and leaving behind their mark on him. Those strong arms holding him down while that mouth went to work on him. Rick sighed and briefly closed his eyes to savour the imagine for a little longer before pushing it away.

Rick had gathered some of the deer Daryl had hunted, which seemed like such a long time ago now. He had persuaded Carol to bake some fresh bread that she cooked in an outdoor fire burning oven she and Daryl had built. Lastly, he had handpicked fruit from his farm, there were a few strawberries, raspberries and blackberries. 

It wasn't the three course meal he had originally planned, but it seemed to be going down well.

''S'good. How'd you manage to butcher that deer?''

Rick took a bite of the jerky and let all of the flavours play over his tongue. It had been so long since he had jerky this good. 

''Carol did it,'' Rick spoke with his mouth full, ''She learns fast, seemed to enjoy it a bit too much...''

Daryl chuckled at that. Carol was a fierce woman when she wanted to be and seeing her wield a knife and slice up an animal must have been scary. 

''Never showed her how ta jerky meat, only talked about it when she asked. She did good.''

Rick nodded and continued to stare as they both ate. He was so lost, he knew he couldn't live without this man sitting in front of him. He held the necklace for support before trying to voice his feelings. 

''Daryl, you scared the shit out of me. I thought the worst and I never want to feel like that again. I meant it when I said yer family, and now... you’re everythang.''

Daryl's chewing slowed and he did that thing where he tried to hide behind his hair. Rick found it adorable and it made him want to gather him up in his arms and hold him there forever. 

''Rick...'' Daryl began but paused, unsure of how to begin. 

''You don't hafta say nothin'. I jus' need you ta know what you mean ta me. Next time you go outside the prison I want you to know exactly what you have here to come back to, with no doubt about how much I love you.''

Since Rick said those three words he had found it easier and easier to say them. In fact he enjoyed telling Daryl how much he loved him, seeing his reaction, and was quite happy to continue doing it for as long as they had together. Daryl deserved nothing less. 

''Fuck, Rick,'' Daryl swallowed the mouthful of food he had been chewing and cleared his throat, ''When I sat there thinking it was over fer me... all I wanted was you. All o' you. Shit, I ain't no good at this.''

Daryl ducked his head and closed his eyes. He wanted to have pretty words for Rick because Rick deserved them all. He took a breath and looked back up into Rick's eyes.

''Rick, I...''

Daryl was cut short by Rick lunging across the blanket and crashing their lips together. All words and coherent thoughts were gone in an instant and replaced by heat and sensation. 

Rick just couldn't sit there and watch Daryl squirm as he tried to put words to his feelings. Rick knew how Daryl felt and knew there were other ways to show it. He didn't mean to practically devour him though, once their lips touched his intended gentle kiss turned savage. 

Rick grabbed at Daryl's hair as he crawled closer and leaned into the kiss. Without conscious thought he was pushing Daryl backwards and climbing on top of him, his body moving of its own accord. A bowl of raspberries went flying as he maneuvered them both to lay on the blanket covering the hard floor.

Daryl was sure he was about to say something important but the words and thoughts wouldn't quite reform. He was surrounded by the feel and smell of Rick and it was a heady experience. He lost himself in Rick's soft lips, tasting the jerky and sweet fruits as their tongues tangled together. Instead of the panic he once felt he now felt safe pressed underneath Rick's slender frame. 

Even as he felt Rick's thick erection press into his thigh there was no panic, no shortness of breath. He noticed that Rick was careful not to press on his bad leg and he was able to stamp out any nasty thoughts that tried to invade his mind. He knew what he wanted now and nothing was going to stop him from getting it. He felt driven by need and it felt good. 

Rick tugging at his hair pulled him out of his thoughts and back into the heat of the moment. This was it, he was more ready than ever. He could do this.

''Rick, now's the time ta tell me all about why you threw lube at me.''

Rick stopped and looked into Daryl's eyes. 

''I... this doesn't hafta lead nowhere, I got carried away. We still have food...'' Rick babbled.

Daryl reached up and grabbed Rick's face in his hands, ''Rick, I want you inside me. Now.''

Rick stared down and blinked a few times slowly. His cock jumped and twitched against Daryl's thigh at those words. He couldn't believe how dirty and sexy Daryl sounded, it most certainly did things to him. He didn't want to rush this though, to have a repeat of previous experiences with Daryl. He wanted to do this right, he had an idea.

Rick leaned up and pulled Daryl into a sitting position with him, ''You could- erm... well, you could fuck me?''

Daryl wasn't quite sure he had heard right because Rick's words got quieter and quieter as he spoke. He knew what Rick was doing, giving him an out and he was grateful but he knew what he wanted. As he looked up though he saw something sad in Rick's eyes and realised he had been shaking his head.

''It's not that I don't want ya like that, an' I know what yer tryin' ta do, but I want this. I won't freak out, Rick, please.''

''God Daryl, I don't even know how ta do this,'' Rick reached out a hand and gently placed it on Daryl's cheek, ''As soon as you feel anythang but absolute pleasure you tell me.''

''I got the word you gave me. I want this.''

Rick closed his eyes and drew Daryl in for another kiss. This time he managed to keep it gentle. He pulled back and rested their foreheads together.

''It was Maggie that gave me the lube an' condoms. I shoved 'em in the blanket an' forgot all about them. This date wasn't about gettin' you in bed.''

Rick was so hard he felt uncomfortable in the confines of his trousers, but he wanted Daryl to know he wasn't like the others.

''This,'' Daryl moved his arms to encompass the room, ''has been amazin'. Ain't never had nothin' like this, man. I know you weren't lookin' fer this to go nowhere, but right now it is, an' I think I'm done talkin'.

It was Daryl who now lunged himself at Rick. He took Rick by surprise and they both ended up toppling backwards in a heap of arms and legs and tangling tongues. Daryl aligned his hips with Rick's and pressed their erections together, pleasure burst through him and he let out a groan into Rick's mouth.

Rick couldn't get enough of the feel of Daryl's hard length rubbing against his own. He felt his cock leak and pulse against Daryl's through their clothes. They were wearing too many clothes. Rick wanted to feel Daryl's skin against his and he didn't want to come yet, not so soon, he was feeling close already.

Rick stilled Daryl's hips and came up for air, ''Tell me what I need to do.''


	17. Chapter 17

Rick was lubing up his fingers as Daryl had instructed, his hands shook slightly with nervous anticipation. He was no stranger to sex but this was different. He wanted more than anything to make this good for Daryl. It didn't help that he couldn't stop his mind from shouting at him 'you are about to fuck Daryl Dixon, Daryl fucking Dixon'. 

They had both shed their clothes. Daryl had even allowed Rick to remove his shirt. It took Rick’s breath away, the sight of a fully naked Daryl in from of him. Rick had helped Daryl out of his trousers too, he was wearing no underwear as usual. That did things to Rick and he was sure as hell Daryl knew it. Daryl had smirked before reaching for the lube and telling Rick to slick his fingers.

Daryl watched rather eagerly as Rick rubbed the lube around each digit, it felt like he was moving torturously slowly. He couldn't believe how much he wanted this. He wasn't sure he ever had wanted this before. It had always been forced upon him or something he had given up because he thought he had to. Now though, his cock was thick and straining at the thought.

Daryl grabbed a pillow from the bed and propped it behind him for support. He leaned back with his knees up then parted them before staring through them at Rick. He mustered all of his confidence and crooked his finger, motioning Rick to him.

''Oh God, Daryl. Look at you, you take my breath away.''

Rick wasn't lying, just the sight of Daryl exposing himself like that was making it difficult for him to breath. He tried to take a few deep breaths as he crawled over to Daryl. He knelt between his spread legs and gave Daryl one last look before lowering his fingers once Daryl gave a small nod.

Daryl's breath hissed out as the cold lube made contact with his most intimate spot. He felt Rick swirl his finger around his hole and it felt so good, so sensitive. No one had taken this much time and care with him before.

''Rick... please,'' Daryl breathed, he couldn't take anymore teasing.

Rick was enjoying the feel of Daryl, he swirled his finger once more before stopping at the tight entrance and slowly he started pressing his finger inside. 

''You feel amazin', beautiful, you are beautiful.''

Rick worked his finger in up to the knuckle then started swirling it inside as he had done on the outside. Daryl had closed his eyes and seemed to be enjoying it so Rick, growing in confidence, started gently fucking Daryl with his finger. It slid easily in and out, Daryl's hole accepting the intrusion and opening for him. 

''More,'' was all Daryl could manage, the feeling was overwhelming. 

Daryl had never felt this good before. He could barely focus on anything but Rick's talented fingers. Even breathing was becoming difficult. All he could manage was short sharp breaths.

Rick felt a jolt of pleasure right down to his throbbing cock at Daryl's breathy command so without hesitation he inserted a second finger, quickly followed by a third. It was getting difficult to move his fingers, Daryl seemed to be getting tighter. Rick wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not until Daryl started thrusting in time with his fingers.

''Ahh... fuck...'' Daryl suddenly threw his head back and pushed himself all the way onto Rick's fingers, ''God, man- right there.''

Daryl got even tighter, which he didn't think was possible. He remembered vaguely what Maggie had said about guys having some special spot inside them. Rick guessed he had just found Daryl's. He couldn't get enough of the noises Daryl was making and the way he was writhing around on his fingers. 

Daryl could feel his cock leaking onto his stomach every time it bobbed up and down with the rhythm of his movements. He could come just like this, he was so close to losing himself that he stilled his hips and slowly started pulling himself off of Rick's slick fingers. He grabbed up the lube and tossed it at Rick again. 

''Need. Your. Cock. Now,'' Each word came out between shaky breaths.

Rick's initial pang of worry at Daryl pulling away was gone instantly and replaced with burning desire at those words. 

As Rick lubed his cock with shaking hands, and started slowly stroking himself to spread the lube, Daryl moved onto his front and put the pillow under his hips to raise himself up for Rick. 

''You are gorgeous, just look at you, all ready fer me.''

Daryl really was ready, but those words. He had heard them many times before when he was anything but ready. He pushed aside that horrible voice in his head and clung to the fact that it was Rick behind him this time. He would not panic, this was feeling too good. 

Rick held Daryl's hip with one hand and lined himself up with the other. He made small circles with his thumb on Daryl's hip as he pressed the tip of his cock to Daryl's loose hole. His own precome helping lubricate his entrance further. He watched in fascination as the head of his cock slowly began to disappear. 

He couldn't believe how amazing this felt, it was as if Daryl's body was drawing him in. When he was completely buried inside Daryl, he stilled his hips and waited. He told himself it was to let Daryl adjust but in all honesty he felt like he would shoot his load already if he moved even an inch. 

Daryl's head was spinning, a mixture of pleasure and pain emanating from his core. Not a terrible pain, but he felt stretched more than he ever had before. He was thankful Rick had remained still once he was fully sheathed. The pain had Daryl's heart pounding, he was trying real hard not to let the panic he was starting to feel rise. 

Daryl reached back and pulled at Rick's hips to get him to start moving. He needed something, anything to stop his heart pounding in his head and that voice swirling around. 

Rick moved then, slowly at first, so slowly. It did feel good, but Rick felt too big and all Daryl could think about was how much it was going to hurt when Rick lost control and pounded into him harder and harder. He wasn't going to panic, he couldn't and wouldn't make Rick stop now. 

Instead, without conscious thought, Daryl brought a hand to his thigh and pressed his thumb into his healing wound. The pain he felt eased him somehow, as it always did, it drowned out the pain he was feeling deep inside. He pushed at the fresh scar, matching the rhythm of each thrust. 

Rick opened his eyes, having scrunched them shut in the hope that it would help make him last longer. At first he thought Daryl had moved his hand to stroke his cock, but soon realised what Daryl was doing. He was no longer making those amazing noises or moving with him. He had gone rigid and he was hurting himself. 

''Fuck, Daryl!''

Rick hated himself for not noticing sooner, so caught up in his own pleasure. He stopped instantly and began slowly pulling out so as not to cause Daryl any more pain. 

Daryl reached back with his free hand to stop Rick from pulling all the way out.

''No, Rick, don't stop. Please I want this. Please.''

Rick felt torn. He really didn't want to stop, but he knew he was thinking with his cock rather than his brain. He put his hand over Daryl's and continued to pull out. When he was free he felt the loss instantly, but he wanted this to be right for Daryl. Not like this. 

Daryl whimpered at the lost connection. He felt empty and useless. He hated himself. He slumped to the floor with his head in his hands and wished he could just disappear. He felt so alone until he felt warm, reassuring hands on his back and Rick's soothing voice.

''Daryl, my love, please look at me.''

Daryl tried to focus on those words and the present moment. He slowly raised his head, feeling it was the least he could do. As soon as he made eye contact though, his pounding heart eased a little.

''You didn't say the word. I didn't realise... God I didn't realise. Daryl, what do you need?''

Daryl didn't need to think about his response.

''You.''

Rick propped himself up against the wall and pulled Daryl to him, resting his head against his chest, stroking his hair.

''I thought you were enjoyin' it, but you... you were hurtin' yerself, 'cause of me.''

Rick closed his stinging eyes. He couldn't take that thought, that Daryl would think he was like the others. 

''Rick, I'm sorry. I want this. I want you.''

Rick felt a spark of anger, why hadn't Daryl used the word like he said he would. He wanted to give Daryl everything, but he wouldn't do this and cause him any more hurt. It was still difficult and confusing to see Daryl like this, not the strong hunter he was used to. 

Rick ran his hands through Daryl's hair then pulled slightly, making Daryl look up at him with big eyes. 

''Why didn't you use the fuckin' word?'' Rick's voice was stern but calm, like he got when we was about to lose his shit. 

That voice did things to Daryl, heat instantly pooled at his groin. He knew Rick was right though, he didn't say 'Sheriff' instead he started hurting himself. He got too caught up in the moment and lost himself.

Rick pulled his hair harder making Daryl's eyes fall closed. Maybe, like he did back in the shower room, Rick could make him hurt to make the voices go away. Then he wouldn't have to hurt himself. Daryl knew he was messed up, but he just couldn't help it, Rick pulling his hair settled him. 

He moved then, climbing onto Rick's lap. He wrapped a hand around Rick's cock and stroked up and down a few times, bringing Rick back to hardness easily. Daryl knelt up without a word and started lining himself up with the head of Rick's cock. 

Rick didn't understand. He reached up and gripped Daryl's hip, holding him in place. 

''What are you doing?''

''Rick, I want this, I really do,'' Daryl looked Rick in the eyes when he said, ''So... keep yer hands in ma hair.''

Rick understood, he nodded his head slowly as he moved his hands back to Daryl's hair, remembering how Daryl had reacted all the times he had tugged at his hair previously. He was more than willing to do it now if it meant Daryl could get through this and enjoy it, but he promised himself not to get so caught up. He wanted to be sure Daryl was with him and not in his head with someone else.

Rick maintained eye contact as he watched Daryl begin to lower himself onto his cock. He quickly realised he preferred this position. He could see the way Daryl's eyes scrunched closed, the way his head fell back to expose his strong neck. Rick ran his fingers through the strands of Daryl's hair and leaned up to press kisses along his tempting collarbone. 

Daryl could feel his cock getting hard again as he lowered himself onto Rick, he felt himself stretching again to accommodate his thick length. He reached out and gripped Rick's shoulders for support as he lowered himself the last few inches, instantly he felt complete again with Rick buried deep inside him. 

He had never done it this way before and he was quickly realising he liked it. There was no question who was inside him because all he had to do was open his eyes and he could see Rick's piercing blue ones staring back at him with so much intensity. 

When Daryl took all of him in again Rick's mind momentarily went blank. He rested his head back against the wall and let his hands fall away from Daryl's hair. Everything was centred on his throbbing cock that was buried so deep inside this beautiful man. He met Daryl's gaze then. 

''Daryl...'' Rick took a shaky breath before continuing, ''Don't you take yer eyes off me, see me, and know I ain't gonna hurt you. You are in control here, you. Now move.''

Daryl didn't feel in control, his legs were shaking already, but he felt good and he wanted more. He looked into Rick's eyes and slowly raised himself up, feeling Rick's cock begin to withdraw from him. He felt his tight ring stretch as it reached the head, then he stopped and let himself fall back down. His breath was pushed out of him as he was filled back up again. 

''Shit, Daryl,'' Rick's voice was gravelly and his eyes intense as he kept them locked with Daryl's. 

He could do this, it felt good like this. Daryl raised himself up again, but this time he moved his hips as he brought himself back down. A shudder ran through him as he began to set a steady pace, each time moving his hips, taking Rick deeper. 

Rick tried to allow Daryl the control, but his hips started to move, meeting Daryl's downward movement with a thrust upwards. 

Daryl threw his head back, eyes closed tight, and let out a moan. He started to increase the pace. 

''Rick,'' Was all Daryl could manage. 

Rick brought his hands back up and into Daryl's hair gripping tightly, making Daryl moan again. He pulled Daryl's head down to him.

''I said, don't take yer eyes off me.''

A thrill went through Daryl at the command. He kept his eyes locked with Rick's again as he moved eagerly up and down on his cock. His own hard length was bouncing between them, precome seeping out and spilling onto Rick's stomach. 

Rick felt close. Daryl looked absolutely stunning and felt amazingly tight around his cock. Each movement, up and down, sent him closer to the edge. Rick gripped Daryl's hair tighter and shifted slightly to thrust upwards more. 

Daryl momentarily scrunched his eyes shut and cried out. It was a heavenly sound that Rick wanted to hear more of. He carried on at that angle, hitting that magic spot inside Daryl every time.

Daryl tried to stop his head spinning long enough to open his eyes back up. He desperately wanted to keep eye contact with Rick as he had been told to do. It was becoming more and more difficult to do though as he felt a pressure building in him. The hands in his hair, those piercing blues eyes, and the thick cock slamming into his prostate was all becoming too much. 

''Rick, I- ahh- I'm gonna...''

Rick tightened his fingers in Daryl's hair and brought their foreheads together. He kissed Daryl, because he just had to, then pulled back again to lock their eyes together. 

''Come for me,'' Rick barely recognised his own voice, it sounded so raspy. 

Daryl reached between them to grip his throbbing cock only to be stopped. A groan escaped before he could prevent it. 

Rick shook his head, ''Come for me,'' he repeated. 

Rick had one hand in Daryl's hair, pulling harder, and one encircling his wrist, preventing him from touching himself. Rick didn't even know if it was possible for a man to come without being touched, but just the thought alone was turning him on and making his own cock grow thicker inside Daryl.

Daryl held onto Rick's shoulder tighter with his free hand, the other pinned to his thigh, and began circling his hips as he met each of Rick's thrusts. The added movement was enough. He cried out Rick's name as his orgasm tore through him. He forced himself to keep eye contact as his cock pulsed and bounced freely between them, covering Rick's stomach and chest with his come. 

Rick couldn't take it, Daryl coming untouched pushed him over the edge. His orgasm burst from him, his hips stilled as he released deep inside Daryl. His eyes closed briefly and his hands loosened their grip on Daryl as his strength left him. All of his energy, everything he had, shot deep inside Daryl. 

Daryl slumped forward and rested his head against Rick's shoulder. His sensitive cock twitched between them at the contact. He felt completely sated. Sex had never felt like that before and he had never come like that, so hard and untouched. 

They remained tangled together and completely content until their breathing slowly returned to normal. 

''We need ta move, if we stay like this we’ll be stuck together,'' Rick mumbled close to Daryl's ear light-heartedly. 

All Daryl could do was grunt.

Rick chuckled, ''Come on, up.''

Rick brought a hand down, swatting at Daryl's behind. 

Each slap sent shivers through Daryl, little aftershocks ran along his sensitive skin. 

''Rick, I can't move. I think you broke me.''

Rick chuckled and felt happiness swell inside him. He felt the buzz right down to his toes. He had done this, made Daryl the mess that was flopped against him. He really didn't want to move either, but he could feel Daryl's come starting to dry in places and he just wanted to curl up and sleep, which wouldn't be a good idea like this. 

Rick reached over and grabbed his underwear, which was the closest thing to him. He pushed Daryl into a sitting position and couldn't help the smile spreading across his face at the sight in front of him. Daryl's eyes were half closed and his hair was a mess of tangles from all of the attention it had received. 

Daryl started to flop back towards Rick, unable to hold his own weight. He felt like jelly, a completely content and wobbly jelly. 

''Ah, Daryl... work with me here,'' Rick couldn't help but chuckle again, ''we really need ta get cleaned up then we can get into bed.''

Rick pushed Daryl up again and slowly pulled himself out of Daryl. His softening cock slipped out with ease, come leaked out with it and ran down his thighs. He moved the underwear he had in his hands closer to try and catch some of it. 

''Okay you, up, onto the bed.''

Rick gripped Daryl under the arms and raised them both up onto shaky legs. He managed to get Daryl lying on the bed and used the underwear to clean him up as best he could before attempting to clean himself. 

Daryl just laid there watching as Rick wiped at the mess on his chest and stomach. It was one of the hottest things he had ever seen, knowing it was his come covering Rick's lean body. He was desperately trying to keep his eyes open so he could watch. 

''Next time, I'm the one that gets to collapse and you can do the cleanin’ up,’' Rick joked as he picked the blanket up from the floor and shoved at Daryl to make room for him.

''Mmm, next time,'' Daryl mumbled. 

Rick got comfortable and pulled Daryl to him, holding him tight against his chest. 

''Yeah and next time I don't want you thinking of no one else when it's me that's inside o’ you.''

Daryl's heart pounded at that and he went to move so he could see Rick's face, but Rick held him in place. 

''Rick, it weren't like that.''

''I'm the jealous type, don't like you thinkin’ of another man while yer with me.''

Daryl hadn't thought of it like that. He had been thinking of another man, not one he wanted to be thinking about though. It also made him giddy to think he could make Rick jealous, but it's not something he had intended to do.

''I promise,'' Daryl said and he meant it. 

He wouldn't think of Jesse anymore. He didn't belong in Daryl's head when he was with Rick. 

''Good, now sleep so we can do this again,'' Rick said with a smile on his face as he stroked Daryl's hair. 

-

The following morning Rick woke up rock hard and pressed into Daryl's lower back. This time Daryl hadn't panicked, instead he started moving his hips until Rick was positioned at his entrance. Loose from the previous night, Rick pressed in with ease. He had reached a hand around and stroked Daryl's hard cock in time with each thrust. 

They moved together at a slower pace compared with the night before, taking their time until they both shuddered and came together. 

Rick helped Daryl back into his clothes after cleaning them both up. He gathered all the things he had brought with him for the date before passing Daryl his crutch. 

''Ready?'' Rick asked. 

To Daryl that question held so much. He knew that most of the group was aware of their relationship, but he felt ready now to be more public with what they had. He didn't care who knew, in fact he wanted people to know. Rick was his and he was Rick's. 

Daryl nodded and held Rick's gaze momentarily before moving to the door.

''Hey,'' Rick said as he placed a hand on the door, preventing Daryl from opening it. 

Daryl turned and reached his hand out to touch the stone hanging from the cord around Rick's neck. 

''What's up?'' Rick asked, suddenly worried by Daryl's seemingly sullen mood. 

''I ain’t never felt like this before, Rick,'' Daryl almost whispered from behind his hair. 

Rick ducked his head, as he had done a thousand times before, to force eye contact. 

''Tell me...'' Rick asked, concern evident.

''I love you.''

Rick's heart almost stopped before completely melting. He hadn't realised how much he needed to hear Daryl say it. He reached out and pulled Daryl to him. He held him so tight as if to make sure this was all real, that Daryl was real. 

''I love you, too,'' Rick said as he ran his hands through Daryl's hair.

He tightened his fingers around the strands and crashed their mouths together. The kiss felt like the best he had ever had. Their tongues tangled and his head span. 

Daryl loved the feel of Rick all around him and inside his mouth. He would never get enough if this. He was the happiest he had ever been and it was just the beginning. 

Rick came up for air and rested their foreheads together. 

''Come on, let's go get breakfast.''

Rock opened the door and held it open for Daryl. If they didn't leave now Rick would end up taking Daryl again and again. 

As they walked towards the eating area Daryl took Rick's hand in his. He wanted everyone to see, needed everyone to know. 

He looked around as they entered and waited for the comments from those who still didn't know, but all they got were smiles and the occasional nod in their direction. 

Rick helped Daryl get seated opposite Glenn and Maggie, in their usual seats, resting the crutch within easy reach beside Daryl. 

''I'll get us some breakfast,'' he said to Daryl, ''Morning,'' Rick then said cheerily in greeting to the others before leaving. 

Rick left hastily leaving Daryl to answer the sudden barrage of questions from Glenn and Maggie only to face his own from Carol.

''Good date then I see,'' Carol rightly assumed. 

Rick couldn't help the ridiculous smile that spread across his face which said it all. He looked over at an awkward Daryl trying to deflect uncomfortable questions and his heart swelled. It got even worse when Carl joined them.

He had the feeling that things were certainly looking up for his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of my Rickyl fic. It was so much fun to write and I felt like I could have just carried on and on! Hope you all liked the ending though :) 
> 
> Thank you everyone for the lovely comments and kudos along the way. It spurs me on to write more :)


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since I finished this fic and said I would add an epilogue. I have finally got round to doing it. 
> 
> It was supposed to be a nice happy family addition to the story... but it just turned into more smut!
> 
> Hope you like!
> 
> Also it is unbeta'd so apologies for any random typos...

‘’Go an’ talk to him,’’ Rick said quietly as he gently nudged Daryl’s shoulder with his own.

Daryl let out a sigh at the broken record that was Rick. Daryl didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, he was completely healed now and yet Carl was still moping around. He could see him sitting on his own picking imaginary bits of fluff from his hat with his head lowered. He looked a picture of misery.

‘’Rick man, he apologised enough already. Don’t get why he’s still down about it. I told ‘im it's okay, I’m okay.’’

‘’Daryl… please.’’ 

Rick lowered his head to rest on Daryl’s broad shoulder and took pleasure in pressing a kiss to his neck before resting his head back down. It still never ceased to amaze him that he had this with Daryl. He could reach out and touch him, without Daryl flinching away, or lean in for a kiss whenever he pleased. But there was just one thing that wasn’t right, Carl. He hadn’t been right since the accident and only Daryl could make it better.

‘’Whenever he tried to apologise you practically kicked him out of yer cell.’’

Daryl groaned and looked at the ceiling. He was never good with words and the kid had said sorry so many times he didn’t know what to do with it anymore, but he knew this meant a lot to Rick.

‘’Fine, but you know I ain’t no good at this.’’

‘’He needs you, nobody else can make it right for him.’’

Rick gave Daryl a little shove and swatted his butt as he reluctantly walked off in Carl’s direction. Rick leaned his head back against the wall with a small smile on his face as he watched Daryl scrape his feet as he neared Carl.

-

‘’Hey, kid.’’

The name had become an endearment now, a nickname that had stuck after Carl had made such a fuss about being called kid. He briefly glanced up at Daryl before going back to picking at his hat. 

‘’Look,’’ Daryl shifted awkwardly and took a deep breath, ‘’ain’t no use mopin’. You apologised a thousand times already.’’

Carl kept his head down and was barely audible when he said, ‘’don’t feel like enough though. I just keep relivin’ it. I see the bolt hit you, see you slowly go down. Just keep reliving that night. Runnin’ to the gate, screamin’, the look on my Dad’s face when he knew somethin’ had happened to you.’’

Carl felt tears burning behind his eyes, he didn’t want to cry in front of Daryl. He didn’t actually know what he wanted, he just knew he hated what he had done.

Daryl moved next to Carl, sliding down the wall to join him sitting on the floor. He brought his knees up and rested his elbows on them, he began picking at the skin around his nails.

‘’There was this one time, back when I was a few years younger than you, was out shootin’ with Merl an’ his buddies. They gave me this little hand crossbow ta use. Looked small but could still take down small game. Was easy enough ta load by myself so I wouldn’t be a bother ta no one.’’

Carl glanced up at Daryl briefly, wondering why he was telling him this. 

Daryl focused on picking the skin around his thumbs and let his hair fall over his face as much as he could before he continued.

‘’We’d been out mosta the day an’ it was gettin’ dark. Merl and his buddies were loud an’ fallin’ about… most of ‘em drunk or high. I was linin’ up a shot at a target I’d carved into a tree. Just as I took ma shot one of the guys stumbled inta me… knocked me over but not before I released a bolt.’’

Daryl flicked the hair from his eyes and looked over at Carl to emphasise his point.

‘’Shot Merl right in the butt. He chased me ‘round, with the bolt sticking out of his arse, screamin’ and shoutin’. When he caught up with me he beat seven kinds of shi-,’’ Daryl paused remembering Rick didn’t like him swearing around Carl, ‘’well you get the idea. He weren’t best pleased.’’

‘’You shot Merl?’’ Carl said in disbelief, remembering how scary Merl was. 

‘’Yeah,’’ Daryl huffed out a small chuckle at the fond memory, ‘’he couldn’t sit down for a week.’’

Carl looked over at Daryl and saw the genuine look of happiness in his eyes at reliving that memory. He joined him then and laughed. It felt strange after everything that had happened, he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed. He ducked his head again, back to feeling bad.

‘’Hey, chin up. Ain’t no use mopin’ and dwellin’ on stuff in this place. We made it, I’m fine and now you got a good story ta tell,’’ Daryl glanced over at Rick, ‘’ and Hell, if you hadn’t of shot me I’d probably still just be lookin’ at yer Pa an’ wishin’-’’

Daryl let out a sigh and rested his head back against the wall.

Carl hadn’t thought of it like that before. He liked Daryl being with his Dad, it made them both happy. Maybe he had a part in making that happen, even if it was by shooting Daryl with a crossbow.

‘’Daryl,’’ Carl elbowed Daryl in the ribs, ‘’you got that look in your eye. I don’t wonna know what you would be wishin’.’’

Daryl felt a blush creeping up his neck and into his cheeks. He reached over and grabbed the back of Carl’s head, ruffling his hair before taking the hat from him and placing it back on his head.

‘’You both drive me crazy. Now go on, go get breakfast before yer late.’’

Carl jumped to his feet and looked back at Daryl who was squinting up at him with a hand held up trying to block the sun from his eyes that was streaming through a window. He smiled at Daryl and gave a nod before running off towards the canteen. 

-

Rick watched Daryl as he neared. He enjoyed watching Daryl, even more so now he could do it without having the worry of people catching him at it. It was a warm day even though it was early and Daryl already had a fine sheen of sweat on his arms that glistened when the morning sun caught him. He licked his lips subconsciously. 

‘’How’d it go?’’ Rick asked.

‘’He’s alright, just hope he’ll quit apologising now. I told him if he hadn’t’ve shot me things with you might be different. Sitting there against that tree thinking that was it made me realise what I wanted.’’

‘’All it took was for you to almost die.’’

‘’Pftt yer just exaggeratin’. It weren’t that bad.’’

‘’Daryl,’’ Rick felt a lump forming in his throat at the memory, ‘’don’t ever do nothin’ like that again.’’

Rick got to his feet and stepped close, cupping Daryl’s face with both hands.

‘’Yeah, I’ll be sure not ta get shot by yer son in future.’’

There was amusement in Daryl’s voice, but Rick always struggled to shift that horrible feeling of dread he got when they spoke about what happened. He slowly lowered his head and drew Daryl in for a kiss, more to reassure himself than anything else. The kiss was gentle, lips barely touching.

Daryl knew Rick needed comfort. It had been a close call and he was just as glad that he was alive as Rick was. He brought his lips to meet Rick’s once more before pulling him into a tight embrace. He held Rick to him and they stayed like that for some time just breathing each other in.

Rick had his face pressed into Daryl’s neck and Daryl had brought a hand up to hold the back of his head. Rick had his eyes closed and felt completely at peace with the steady sound of Daryl’s breathing easing his racing thoughts. 

Daryl was the first to break the silence, ‘’you ready to go?’’

Rick slowly pulled away and opened his eyes. He nodded without saying a word, took Daryl’s hand and started walking from the cell block.

-

It was Rick’s turn to go hunting with Daryl. They had chosen a spot slightly further out than where Daryl had taken Carl. Rick hadn’t been back to that place since the accident and didn’t plan on going back any time soon either. He was standing in a small clearing trying to keep his arm steady under the weight of the crossbow. Daryl was standing close, chest pressed against his back, whispering instructions into his ear. It was very distracting.

Rick, however, was taking the training very seriously. He didn’t want any accidents and he also thought it would be a very useful skill to learn. He wanted to be able to hunt for food for the group. 

‘’Steady yer aim, keep yer eyes open,’’ Daryl whispered each word slowly, his breath teasing at Rick’s ear, ‘’deep steady breaths and release on an exhale.’’

After finishing his instructions and noting Rick’s serious expression, Daryl blew air gently into Rick’s ear as he was lining up to take the shot.

Rick nudged Daryl with his elbow and glared at him.

‘’Okay, okay,’’ Daryl laughed, ‘’I’ll stop.’’

Daryl backed away with raised hands, giving Rick space to move. He felt the loss immediately and instantly regretted nudging Daryl away. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to focus. He looked back to his target, breathed as Daryl had instructed and on an exhale he released the bolt. 

The shot missed the target and Rick cursed under his breath. He pulled a bolt free from its pouch on the floor next to him and began attempting to reload. 

Daryl stood and watched Rick struggle for a while. He enjoyed watching the strain of Rick’s sinewy muscles working beneath his sweat soaked shirt. Once he sensed Rick’s frustration building he stepped up behind him again and took the string, lifting it easily into place as Rick held it still with his foot in the stirrup.

Rick got a perfect view of Daryl’s strong arms flexing either side of him as he lifted the string. He let out an unintentional groan at the sight and subconsciously pressed himself back into Daryl. When he heard Daryl exhale sharply as his butt pressed into his crotch he began to grind himself against the other man.

The crossbow was quickly forgotten as Daryl grabbed at Rick’s hips and pulled him further back against him. Rick started making delicious circles with his hips. Daryl’s growing erection quickly became uncomfortable pressing against the confines of his trousers.

Rick reached back and cupped Daryl’s arse, pulling him towards him further. He loved feeling Daryl’s cock grow harder against him as he moved. He leaned his head back, bringing their mouths together in an awkward and messy kiss. He couldn’t get enough, he needed more. They both had too many layers between them and he needed to feel Daryl pressed against him skin to skin.

He turned in Daryl’s arms while continuing the kiss, it was awkward but he didn’t want to stop. Their hands were suddenly everywhere and their mouths were crashing together, tongues fighting and swirling. Daryl brought their hips together, desperate for some kind of relief. The friction dragged moans from them both. 

Daryl was the first to pull back, he held the back of Rick’s head and rested his forehead against Rick’s as he tried to catch his breath. He was always surprised at how much he wanted Rick, he had never wanted another person like this so much before.

Rick began unbuckling Daryl’s belt with frantic hands and undoing his trousers. Daryl stared down between them watching as Rick pulled him free and curled his fingers around his hard length. His eyes squeezed shut as Rick tightened his grip and began to slowly stroke him up and down. He was completely lost in sensation until he was startled back to reality as he tried to comprehend what Rick had just said.

‘’Rick?’’

‘’You heard,’’ Rick was breathing heavily with excitement, he knew what he wanted and had wanted for some time now, ‘’I want you inside me.’’

Daryl instantly stamped down on those old thoughts that were rising. Rick wanted him, wanted this, and Daryl would give it to him. He knew enough about what didn’t feel good to know what did and he wanted to make Rick feel how he felt when Rick was inside him.

Daryl grabbed Rick’s shoulders and crashed their mouths back together. He started walking Rick backwards until he was pressed against a tree. Rick had his fingers in Daryl’s hair, bunching strands together and pulling tight as he lost himself in Daryl’s mouth. 

As their tongues twisted together and they breathed each other's air, Daryl stepped out of his boots and shoved his trousers down, stepping out of them too and quickly kicking them to one side. Instantly he felt Rick’s hands move from his hair to his bare skin. His hands were warm and demanding, bringing their hips together and grinding.

It was a heady experience to be wanted this much and it wasn’t one Daryl was used to. He stilled Rick’s hips and brought his hands up to loosen Rick’s belt and trousers. When he looked down he could see a wet patch where his own arousal had leaked onto the front of Rick’s trousers. He also noted the impressive strain of Rick’s cock which was leaving its own damp patch.

He made quick work of Rick’s clothes, which wasn’t easy with Rick’s hands all over him and their lips barely leaving each other. He indulged himself for a moment, allowing his hands to roam all over Rick’s warm and sensitised skin. They were both moaning and panting, their erections brushing together as their hips moved rhythmically of their own accord. 

Daryl brought his fingers up to Rick’s mouth and he greedily sucked them in. The sensation had Daryl’s cock twitching, he closed his eyes to try and regain some control. When his fingers were nice and slick he pulled them free of Rick’s sinful mouth and flipped Rick so he was pressed face first against the tree.

Rick tried to catch his breath and catch up with what was going on, his head was spinning. Then he felt Daryl slide a finger inside him. A mixture of pain and pleasure shot through him. It stung at first and the stretch he felt with just one finger had him worried, how was he supposed to get Daryl inside him if one finger felt like that? But it quickly gave way to a pleasant tingling sensation that he felt all the way to his toes.

He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this and enjoying it. His cock was pressed almost uncomfortably against the tree, but it was only adding to the incredible feelings Daryl was creating inside him. Before long Daryl was adding a second slick finger, scissoring his fingers and twirling them around, it was making Rick’s head spin even more.

He felt like he was losing control, he was sure he was babbling Daryl’s name repeatedly but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. 

‘’More,’’ was all he could get out when he tried to form words.

Daryl pulled his fingers free which tore a whimper from Rick. The sound went straight to Daryl’s cock, he closed his eyes and took a deep steadying breath. He had never been on this side of the action before and if he thought about it too much he started to get nervous. So instead he brought his fingers back up to Rick’s mouth, who sucked them in and swirled his tongue around them, which knocked any stray thoughts straight out of Daryl’s mind.

Daryl brought his slick fingers to his cock, mixing Rick’s spit with his own precome, and he began to lube himself up. Once he was satisfied he lined himself up. Rick pressed back impatiently, but Daryl held his hips steady with his free hand. He pressed into Rick slowly feeling every inch of him being swallowed up. He went in easy, Rick was so open for him.

Daryl let out the breath he hadn’t even realised he had been holding when he was buried, fully sheathed inside Rick. He pressed his entire body against Rick’s, skin to skin, pressing him further into the tree. 

Rick pressed back, trying to move his hips. He felt completely and utterly full but he needed more. He needed Daryl to move.

‘’Daryl, please…’’ Rick whimpered. He was begging and he couldn’t bring himself to care what he sounded like, his entire body felt like it was on fire.

Daryl’s legs went weak at the sound of Rick’s plea. He rested his forehead on Rick’s shoulder and slowly began to pull out. When he got about half way he jerked his hips forward ramming himself back in deep. This tore a moan from Rick, which spurred Daryl on. He began to set a steady rhythm which had them both groaning and breathing heavily.

Rick’s cock was rubbing against the rough tree with each thrust, it shouldn’t have felt good but it did. He angled his hips to get more friction on the tree and at the same time it changed the angle of Daryl’s thrusts. Rick almost screamed and his head spun as Daryl repeatedly hit an incredibly sensitive spot inside him.

Daryl knew Rick wouldn’t last much longer now he had found his sweet spot. He increased the pace, feeling his own orgasm building. Rick was moaning Daryl’s name with every thrust and it made Daryl feel incredible.

Rick had one arm wrapped around the tree to try and keep himself from melting into a puddle on the floor and the other was grabbing at Daryl, making him thrust harder and harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin was so loud he was sure they were drawing Walkers from all around. He didn’t care though as felt Daryl’s thrusts begin to stutter and become erratic.

‘’Do it.’’

As Rick said it his own orgasm tore through him, his cock pulsed against the tree. His legs felt like they were about to give out from under him, but he held himself up as his oversensitive cock twitched through the end of his climax.

Rick’s orgasm made him impossibly tighter. A few more thrusts and Daryl’s hips stilled as he emptied himself deep inside Rick. Rick was pushing back against him, grinding up and down, drawing out every last drop from him.

Daryl was utterly spent and he leaned his entire weight against Rick, his head resting on his shoulder. 

Rick couldn't take his weight and slid down the tree. He was able to move his hips back, but he felt the tree scrape at the skin on his chest and cheek. He couldn’t bring himself to care though as he lay slumped against the bottom of the tree with Daryl lying over his back. Daryl’s softening cock had slipped out of him and he could feel a warmth running down his leg.

Daryl couldn’t keep his eyes open or get his body to move. He tried to say something but he thinks it just came out as some kind of grunt or growl. His mind was so blissfully empty, his eyes closed and he gave into the blackness.

-

Rick’s eyes slowly began to open. He ached all over and felt a heavy warmth pressed against him. He tried to take stock of the situation and decided he wasn’t injured. Then it all started coming back to him once the fog of deep sleep began to clear. Rick smiled like an idiot and tried to sit up, pushing Daryl off of him. He felt like he needed to stretch out his muscles.

Rick’s movements woke Daryl who groaned and tried to sit up.

‘’Wow, what did you do ta me?’’ Daryl smiled and it reached his eyes, Rick thought it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

They both groggily stood and stretched. Daryl brought a hand to Rick’s face and touched the harsh looking red mark there.

Rick hissed out a breath and pulled away unintentionally, ‘’ouch, that’s going to be hard to explain.’’

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Daryl couldn’t help but say.

‘’There is definitely nothing to be sorry about. Jeez Daryl, if I’d of known it would feel that good I would’ve done this sooner!’’

Daryl chuckled pulling Rick to him and holding him tightly. He still had moments where he couldn’t believe this was all real. Daryl pulled back realizing it was getting dark.

‘’We should get back, we are lucky we were Walker food out here after all that noise,’’ Daryl smiled again when he saw Rick blush, but then he began to frown, ‘’Man, how am I going to explain not bringing something back again. People’a gonna start questionin’ my huntin’ skills.’’

Rick laughed as he started pulling on his clothes. He was going to need a shower when he got back that was for sure.

‘’We can always come back tomorrow,’’ Rick said as he looked over to Daryl, who was also getting dressed, and wiggled his eyebrows at him.

Daryl laughed, ‘’it’s a date.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this fic, I feel like it is complete now :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the journey these two went on.


End file.
